Boys/girls, or either what has your experience been?

[23weeksand2days]

Sorry, I really couldn’t come up with a better title right now.
What I’d like to know is what you’re expperience has been with having girls/boys, or either gender really. How are girls different to boys in your experience?
Is having one easier than the other?
Are there any big differences?
It’s just that I’m a first time mum to be, and up until my 20 week scan I was so sure that we’d be having a girl.
It’s how I’d always imagined things even before getting pregnant, so when I found out we were having a boy I was really quite shocked, unreasonably I know, but I know I’m not the first or last parent to have felt this way.
The initial shock and disappointment lasted about three days and then thankfully wore off, but I still hope that I can have a girl one day too.
If I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with another child I’ll obviously love it no matter the gender, the same way that I love this little one, but I just think having a little girl some day would be lovely too.

Exactly

I have 3 boys and they are all different. One very independent, one a real diva and one a real sweetheart who is huggy and loving. I love them all to death

They are their own person with their own personality. My little boy is two, he’s sweet, gentle and very cautious with everything he does. His cousin is the same age and is a bundle of energy, throws himself into everything without hesitation and loves people. Both boys, completely different.

Ive just found out I’m pregnant with a girl, I was a bit shocked as for some reason I was convinced I was having a boy - but I’m not disappointed. I wanted a baby, I’m getting a baby - I'm incredibly lucky and can’t wait to see what her little personality is like.

I have one of each. I had a daughter first and then a son. Similar to a previous poster my son is the more emotionally intelligent. He definitely wears his heart on his sleeve. My daughter is extremely confident and takes life by the horns. She’s so much more confident than I was at her age (21). I have a close relationship with both and cherish the difference red but things we like doing together. With my daughter it’s horse riding, with my son it’s R&B.

I have 2 girls 4&8 and am 25wks pregnant with a little boy.

I always wanted to have at least one girl at some point and it's lovely in alot of ways and they are both wonderful, but also very intense with me, competitive with each other.
I have been shocked by how loud, lively and demanding girls can be (and I worked with children before having my own aswell!)
They love each other to bits underneath but fight ALOT, argue (with each other and us) ALOT and are very stubborn and headstrong, which can be draining.
We aren't a laid back, placid, quiet kind of family though- DH and me are both quite fiery/ argumentative/ stubborn at times, and eldest DD has ADHD/ASD which has probably impacted the youngest one's personality quite abit and made her more angsty and defensive as eldest winds her up alot.

Hope to goodness that the little boy is more chilled out 😅

I've got one of each (ds 10 & dd 7). They are more similar than not tbh. Both are adrenaline junkies, like sports and seem to have endless supplies of energy. Both care about their appearance. Both very social and also very cuddly with me.

Toywise ds wanted a baby doll when I was pregnant and happily mimicked me when dd was born. Dd on the other hand never took to baby dolls (neither did I). They both love cars, dinosaurs and horses.

I have a little girl and I love the absolute bones of her, but she does not fit the stereotypical daughter mould at all. She's wild and fun and feral and silly and has absolutely no interest in sitting still and drawing/colouring or similar, and she has absolutely no attention span for things like learning to write her letters or even watching a film. She just wants to be outside exploring and making mud pies, or playing chase with her friends. She's so strong willed, stubborn and feisty and has a huge amount to say for herself at all times.

She DOES love the colour pink and will always appreciate a dress with a tutu, but only if it's comfy and she can climb on a climbing frame in it 😂 So I really think there are no guarantees. Having a daughter is wonderful and she's the best thing that ever happened to me, but children are their own little individuals and I don't think you can guarantee a girly girl, or for that matter a typical boisterous boy (I know plenty of gorgeous gentle little boys who love nothing more than snuggling up to watch Frozen and wearing sparkly nails varnish, and why not!).

Wired up completely differently.
generally boys are interested in what they play with,girls are interested in who they play with.

Between DH and I we have three girls and one boy. We have our two youngest girls still living with us (late teens). They have all been different, but I don’t think those differences are all down to gender, more personality really. We’ve always been fairly relaxed and there is a lot of chat and laughter in our house. Don’t believe everything you hear about teens - our’s have been great fun! They all just need to talk, which we have always encouraged, and some guidance/boundaries etc. obviously. I always assumed I’d have boys, but my bio ones are girls. I remember being really surprised when they told me they were girls! I was never a girly girl at all. Wouldn’t change a thing though.

I have two boys and I am
not trying for a third child because I really don’t want any girls 🫣 I think girls are
too much drama especially as they go into tween/teen years. I love being a boy mum despite not being able to match their energy levels! I feel that with boys you need a lot
of effort in the early years and then the foundations have been laid, whereas with girls it may feel like smooth sailing until teenage years come and hit you in the face

That's really sad, to have such a negative view of being a mother to girls. Many get through the teenage years with no drama at all, mine included, but I guess you'll never get to find out.

I was also convinced I was having a girl until the 20wk scan revealed it was a boy and like you I was a bit shocked at first, purely because I had been so, so convinced. Everyone in my family had girls, so I had no experience at all of living with boys. Like you, the surprise only lasted a few days and then I got on with planning for my child to arrive. When my son was 4 months old, I wanted to give him a sibling, and to my absolute surprise, I realised I actually wanted it to be another boy. It seemed easier for them to be the same sex, so I could hand down clothes, they would play together and hopefully have the same interests (yes, I do know boys and girls can also share clothes and interests). Plus, I am the least girly girl you can meet, and to be honest, the thought of potentially having to do hair, nails and make-up if my daughter was a girly girl was a bit daunting (you're more likely to find me doing an oil change on my car than painting my nails) - although, obviously I would have learned how to do make up and my daughter would have learned to change her oil.
9 months later I happily gave birth to another boy, though. My sons are now 18 and 19 and they have been best friends all their lives. If I'd had a girl, things would have been just as lovely, and definitely different, but I can categorically say that I have zero regrets at not having had a girl.

I'm a petrol head, diy-doing, no make-up wearing, non-girly girl with oil on my fingernails instead of nail varnish. Luckily, I got 2 male mini-me's 😁

I spend half my life either at car events or fixing cars with my 19 year old son. I have everything in common with him and he's become a really good mate now he's an adult.

That's a very sweeping generalisation. My two sons had a play kitchen they played with almost every day, and when he was 3, my youngest son had a doll that he used to push around in a pink pushchair that he chose himself when we were in mothercare. They also had dinosaurs, toy cars, jigsaws, art kits and books to read.

I’ve got four children, not all the same sex.
Two are very competitive, one is less so, one isn’t at all
two love reading, two not so much,
three love football, one hates it,
two love drawing, two hate it,
they all love rollercoasters and other thrill seeking activities,
one is brilliant at maths, one passionate about history, one is great at languages, one fantastic at English,
two love gaming, one dips in and out, one not interested,
three are really sociable, one prefers their own space,
two are very tidy, one is now they’re older, one isn’t at all yet,
one loves cooking, two have learned to be competent cooks, one has zero interest.
I don’t think there is a typical boy or girl just typical expectations of them.

FFS what are you on? Girls are not better or easier than boys or vice versa. Some kids are easier than others. End of.
Just pray it's healthy and doesn't have issues of any kind.
My lad is an absolute star. My niece is as well. My nephew is so awkward and a nightmare to deal with. Some friends have severely autistic children and have basically had their lives ruined. Some friends have kids with disabilities that have impacted their children's mental health.
Only one thing matters, that they're ok

Yes , and my daughter had all the things I was mentioning . However, if you look at population level, things are still very gendered , from a very young age.

As a mum with a girl and a boy, I’d say this is a very stereotypical opinion of things…not all girls are “throwing tantrums” and loving “overly girly things” my daughter certainly doesn’t!!

I’ve got a girl and there’s barely any drama at all, nevermind too much.

My first was a girl and she is so amazing I just wanted another kid just like her. This was then amplified by the fact my friend had a boy and her son was unbelievably hard work and I was terrified at the prospect of having to handle what I assumed was boy aggression and boy energy. I just assumed that that’s what boys were like.

But my second is a boy. He is a wonder and a joy and I honestly can’t say there were any sex differences between them until DD hit her teens. It turns out my friend’s son is ADHD and ODD. Nothing to do with being a boy.

And if you want a girl for dressing up / dolls etc. Be careful: DD wasn’t ever bothered by any of that crap (well, until she became a teen). Thankfully she and my son played Lego, trains and later on Minecraft together.

It's always the same way on here if anyone mentions this sort of thing.

Lots of boy parents saying how they didn't want girls because <negative stereotypes>
People saying there's no difference (but not objecting to the above)
People saying how dreadful anyone could be who has a preference (but not objecting to the boy parent posts)

I have both. They're now adults.
I have two girls who are very different, and a ds who is different again.
They're all mathematical and enjoy robotics and engineering.
They all act and love the theatre world - two prefer tech (one boy one girl) and the other wants to be on stage.

They all did ballet, musical theatre, acting and tennis as children.
As adults:
Ballet: one dd still does
Musical theatre: both dd still do
Acting: One dd, ds still does
Tennis: ds still does

But there are differences:
Ds loved balls, especially football. No one else (even dh) likes it - he loved it before he came into contact with anyone else who likes it - none of the family is into football in the way he is.

Even as a tiny baby if I put a tennis ball dangling from the baby gym he would get really excited and focus on that. The girls didn't like the baby gym the way he did, but they ignored the tennis ball in favour of the soft toys.

Dd2 loved her dolls. She would spend bedtime undressing them and putting them to bed, feeding them in the morning etc. Ds, when given a buggy and doll, decided it was a digger and the doll its driver and spent the afternoon digging up the garden and using the buggy as a battering ram.

Dd1 & 2 loved craft - in fact dd2 still does.
Ds couldn't stand it except for a brief phase of Airfix models. In fact he disliked it so much, he used to go to a different class in infant school to avoid it.

Books are another thing that they were different. I could always tell if a book was left lying around whose it was.
dd1: Adventure stories
Dd2: 1950s and earlier school stories, very much the "Girls' Own" set.
Ds: Ideally factual books, although fiction that had some facts (or set in history) was acceptable.

I don't think we are doing ourselves or our children any favours by saying there is no difference at all. On average there are differences, personality may mean the differences on an individual base aren't there. Surely that's fine to admit?
And the majority of people who have a preference are simply saying that it's a preference. We make judgements and have preferences on all sorts of things, that's fine isn't it?

What's wrong is when someone allows their preference take over - I knew someone who had a c-section (through necessity) when their preference was not to have one. Even when the child was 7 or 8 (last time I saw them) if they met a new person you could guarantee within 5 minutes they'd be telling them that they had to have a c-section and that was why they'd never bonded with their dc.
It was not wrong to have a preference; what was wrong was how it had coloured their relationship with their dc.
The same is true of preferring a boy/girl. There is nothing wrong with having that, but if it colours their relationship once the baby is born then it becomes wrong for that reason.
But it's very rare to meet someone who doesn't find that when their baby is there, they love them and are glad that they have that baby and they don't mind any more.

I had a girl first which was my preference. Then hoped for a boy with the second to have one of each - which we did. It was so nice to experience one of each but I'm sure two of the same is nice for the children. My daughter would probably have chosen a sister next , if she could have! My eldest has always been independent and lovely. Her brother is so affectionate and sweet. Both are fabulous.