School wants to lie about DS to secure EHCP funding

[Liarlia]

DS is 5, in year 1. He has SEN but nothing diagnosed and I’d say he’s at the mild end of the spectrum compared to other children who I would argue need specialist provision. He toilet trained at a normal age, they’re still in nappies. One of them is pushed to school in a pushchair. They don’t engage with other children or even adults at all, DS does. They also spend most of their day still in reception which they tried to do with my DS at first but he kept refusing because he recognised he didn’t belong there. One of them just makes noises all day and rocks, it’s very sad to witness but my DS is poles apart in terms of how he presents.

But probably above all of this, DS is academically very bright. He’s in the top group for phonics and arguably ready for the comprehension group, reading age above average, passed the mock phonics screening with flying colours, brilliant at maths etc. He has speech delay so doesn’t always communicate via language, he picks and chooses as and when he wants to speak really but is a very able child.

They offer him extra support in school such as attention autism, a music intervention group and he has a TA with him throughout the day. Due to this, they’ve been pushing for an EHCP since the start of reception. I’ve resisted purely because I don’t feel it’s necessary or that he fits the criteria as such but they argue since he needs the TA (shared with another child with SEN so not 1:1), this warrants the funding. They also keep going into the finances behind the extra interventions they offer him and so I got tired of resisting and gave in. I resisted as well because I don’t want him to be lumped in a box at such a young age when I recognise how vastly different he is from the other children with SEN in terms of needs.

There’s two issues playing on my mind though now. One is that the SENCO lead told me she will lie in the application form and make out that he is worse than he is, purely to make sure they get the funding. But then this morning I was also pulled over by a mum I have never even seen let alone spoken to before who asked what my DS will be doing in year 2. She explained her DS is the child who shares a TA with mine and that she has been told he needs to move to specialist provision. This has now made me think they’re chasing the funding because they’ll lose his?

It doesn’t sit well with me and makes me feel a little queasy. Am I being silly?

If he is getting a TA then he needs funding. At the moment be he piggy backing on someone else provision which isn’t right for either child.

My child has autism. In year 1 neither I or the school noticed any differences between her and her peers and had no concerns. She is a very friendly with many friends and a very academically able child (IQ tests put her in top 1% of the populations). She has just been awarded an ECHP. It’s not about not been intelligent, it’s about improving access to the curricululm and allowing your child to meet their potential being more important than your discomfort over a label.

The SENCo reoport doesn’t carry much weight, it’s the ed psych who they will really listen to.

Do you want your son to have the extra support, the autism intervention, the music group and the TA support throughout the day? If you think he doesn't need these things and he doesn't benefit from them, then continue to say he doesn't need them.

However if he is benefitting from these things, then the school needs to be able to apply for the funding for them. With no extra funding the TA support will not happen anymore.

Is it a case of they think he needs the TA support and you think he would be fine without?

Or is it a case of you think he does need the TA support but it's something that the school should be providing without extra funding? This is almost certainly not the case and it sounds like so far some of the other child's extra funding has been used to also support your son.

Just because he is bright, does not mean he doesn't need any extra support. Support is there to help children reach their potential, at whatever level that might be.

If he needs a TA he needs funding. If he needs interventions he needs funding. An EHCP will enable that. Move quickly before they disappear. It's really not that easy to get one.

He needs funding for extra TA and SEN activities or be able to go to a normal class without support.
You have a brillant SEN school or your child. Work with school not against.

If he is receiving the level of additional support you have described, then he meets the threshold for an assessment.

You child needs extra intervention so the school needs the funding if they are going to continue to provide that.

You are getting caught up by comparing your child with another and that’s not going to help. Support the school. They are just trying to ensure that they can provide the best for your child.

Lots of separate issues here. Firstly if school are keen to get an EHCP then you’d be crazy to object! Your dc sounds able in many ways but he does by your own admission have SEN.
The lying is of course an issue if that’s the case , however EHCP will need more than just one persons account .
You seem to think the school is being grabby in some way but if the TA is shared and the child with an EHCP leaves- no TA for your dc!
Lastly a diagnosis is not going to result in your dc being lumped in with other higher needs children as you imply . He will receive an individual plan for his needs. I don’t understand why you are resisting and feel queasy about all this.
Your dc is frequently non verbal in school and needs support.The school sounds great and the addition provision is not available everywhere. As he gets older he may need the support you are potentially throwing away.

The school are thinking ahead, with your child's best interests at heart.
If they're prepared to do the legwork of an application for a needs assessment, with a view to obtaining an EHCP, I'd snatch their hand off. In Year 1, my autistic DC, like yours had met all age-related milestones and sailed through nursery and Reception. The wheels began to come off toward the end of Y1, and by Y2, it was evident that DC needed additional support. Now about to leave mainstream secondary school, DC's EHCP has ensured 1:1 TA support for the last 4 years, without which DC would not have managed.
I'm a primary school teacher; TA support is gold dust and every minute is carefully calculated and accounted for in terms of who gets what and which pot the funding comes out of. Most schools don't have general classroom TAs anymore; they're mostly paid for through some kind of SEN funding. You're in an enviable position so think ahead and accept the support offered to you. You'll be glad you did.

If they are offering to do this, then bite their hands off. The assessment won't just be done on what the senco writes and they definitely won't issue an EHCP if he doesn't need it. With the SEND white paper coming in schools are having to act quickly or risk having no funding available, and at that age it's all about the money.

You know that autistic children can be very academically able but still have significant struggles in the classroom right? DS is only going to benefit from having a TA so why would you be against the school getting funding for it? At the moment he is able to take advantage of another child's TA, if that child leaves then that will no longer be possible. Saying there are other children with even greater needs isn't going to help your child in any way, shape or form.

Why on earth would you think that you know better than his school whether he needs an Educational health and care plan? To be frank you sound like a nightmare of a parent. One of those who doesn't want to 'label' their clearly struggling child and would prefer them just to continue to struggle on so they can pretend that everything is fine.

Op, you son is high functioning, likely masks, and likely needs some support/intervention. He'll still need support. It isn't a one size fits all, and you don't have to be low functioning to warrant SEN, infact that is an unhelpful myth and assumption. Children like your son are often overlooked due to the latter; it sounds like the school is very proactive, which is a great thing.

Other parents have to fight for support for their high functioning kids, appreciate what the school are doing. There isn't any shame in your son getting some support you know.

I wish our school was this keen to get a ehcp and support for my child. Who is now diagnosed autistic but no one spotted but us and only as school got harder in year 3 did anyone take notice to us.
Far better to have the ehcp and support than not. They will not issue one if your child doesn't need it. They aren't easy to get. We are going for our second attempt at getting one now. I'm very very keen to get one before they either get scrapped or my child hits secondary school.

It's not that you're being silly; it's that you're not recognising the reality of the situation. Schools get zero money for children on the school SEN register. They are supposed to allocate at least £6k out of the general school budget for each child on the register, but they never do. So in reality, the only money coming in for SEN will be from EHCP funding. Your child is extremely lucky to have a 1:1 TA with him all day every day. This is rare, particularly as it sounds he doesn't actually need that level of support.

The SENDCO is right - you need to document your worst moment of your worst day to get even a minor amount of support. If you want the school to continue to provide support for your son, support their efforts to get him and EHCP.

If your child needs zero support to be his best, then refuse the TA and extra support groups and carry on. If he does benefit from extra support, help the school obtain it for him. It doesn't make him lesser or in some sort of comparison race with other children. It just means he needs extra support, which has a financial cost attached to it. I woul do almost anything to have DS in a supportive school like this. My DS actually does need 1:1 support (as stated in his EHCP), but is lucky if he gets an hour a week. When I raised this in the EHCP meeting I was told (paraphrasing) that I was fucking lucky he got even that and what did I expect, that they should ask for extra funding from the council? (erm, duh, yes, of course that's what I expect!)

Some children with EHCPs need to be in specialist schools.
But some other children can cope/fly in mainstream provided they get some extra support. They also need EHCPs.

I say this with nothing but kindness, so pleaee dont be offended. I have a son with SEN and I remember how much I struggled when I realised that he is different and what that might mean for him (and for me). Is it really the funding that is making you feel as described, or are you having trouble accepting that he needs the help and that, yes, it does mean he may be viewed as different by his peers?

Do you not want him to have interventions? Getting an EHCP is nigh on impossible, so you have to say what the worst day looks like, not a good day.

It’s really hard hearing our kids need extra support- there is a grief in this and that is normal. Gently, if he has TA support (even shared) he does need an EHCP. They do focus on all the challenges mainly, that’s probably what the SENCO meant. Comparing to children who are moving to specialist isn’t really helpful. Most children with an EHCP are in mainstream schools. Sounds like the school are proactively trying to support your son which is really good and sadly not always the case.

From what you have said he very much does need an EHCP. It may well be refused at first but appeal and fight. A child needing 1-1 in year 1 is likely to need support throughout school. An ehcp is the only way to guarantee that.

If they have suggested he has an Ehcp assessment please accept. It isn't anything to be ashamed of or worried about.
It is the only way your son will get the support he needs and that the school get the funding for that support. If he has a TA with him all the time they have to fund it somehow. It's not about the school telling lies or about how his needs are less complex than other children it's about making sure your child gets the support he needs to reach his potential.
An EHCP will also be very helpful when he moves to secondary school, does exams etc to make sure reasonable adjustments are in place for him

This has now made me thinking they’re chasing the funding because they’ll lose his

Good for them. In an ideal world, they shouldn’t really have been using another child’s 1:1 for your son anyway.
I don’t really understand why you don’t want the school to get additional funding for the TA your child needs. Worst case, he could lose this TA, and then you’d complain about that.

If a parent did this they’d be accused of FII for financial gain

Well, I don’t think the school should lie. But OP doesn’t seem to dispute the fact that her son needs a TA with him all day. So that does need to be funded.

Ok thank you all for grounding me somewhat. It is difficult to accept and come to terms with, mostly because I’ve spent the past 18 months advocating for him. They’ve only recently started to accept his intelligence, I think throughout reception they thought I was loopy because I was requesting reading books and explaining how academically capable he was but they looked at me like I had two heads. Guess he just presented differently at school to home, as we all do at work vs home. He’s coming into his own and finding his confidence which is great and I think as a result they've realised I wasn’t making it up!

Guess I need to give my head a wobble. It’s hard to process and I’m always the one navigating through it because my job is more flexible than DH’s. Thanks for the advice anyway.

How else do you think they’ll pay for the TA? I’m so glad the school are supporting you and DS. I have worked extensively in schools where even children with the type of needs you discussed in your OP have very limited support due to funding requests being rejected. Bite their hand off as a PP said!!!

When I was at school every class had a TA regardless of SEN but I guess times have changed. Thanks everyone anyway. I am going ahead with the EHCP, I guess lying just didn’t sit well with me.