Let's compile a post of unwritten social rules.

[ScarboroughFairy]

If you rarely ever offend anyone how do you do it. Over the past few years I've learned about the social rules of never complaining, never giving an opinion, not talking about yourself and never grassing.

Bit of a tangent as they are from 25 years as a teacher. Hope this is ok. Unwritten classroom rules:

1. Wait your turn to speak.
2. Use inside voices.
3. Don’t leave your bag/football boots/ hockey stick in the aisle for me or another student to trip over.
4. Blow your nose, instead of sniffing 50 times an hour!
5. Please try to avoid passing wind in my lessons or at least only a very rare non deliberate one!! 👃
6. Same for burping!
7. Pick up pencil shavings from your desk. Better still, ask to go to the bin or sharpen any pencils before lesson!
8. Remember basic stationery. (Genuine poverty aside)
9. Avoid tapping, swinging on chairs etc…
10. Resoect others’ opinions even if they are different to your own.
11. Say please and thank you.
12. Don’t interfere with others’ learning.

I do encourage these social etiquette rules several times a day! Most students are great…some are not.

In fairness, I should probably have said some nt people or lots or nt people.

It's lovely that you would cater to sensory preference, you'd be amazed how many people take "I don't eat anything with cooked mushrooms in it, because I don't like the slimyness" as the cue to 'cure' me of this by pressuring me to eat their delicious version of it. Often going as far as offering me different things with them in every time they see me or telling me something doesn't have it in, then be offended if I accept and stop eating after one bite when I realise. Not hungry is safer, as it's a feeling (most) nt people also get, so many are more likely to believe is real.

I complain, am quite opinionated, sometimes talk about myself too much and sometimes offend people. However, I am also geniune, will apologise when I have been in the wrong, caring, often considerate and thoughtful, can be diplomatic when needed, can be sensitive when needed. People seem to like me in real life, I have a lot of friends. I think it's about balance. If you walk through life being one of those "I tell it how it is" type people like a bull in a China shop then you will alienate people along the way. If you have a little more emotional maturity and judgement then you can share your strong opinions at times and people will listen to you and respect you for it even if they don't agree.

It was more your second example I had in mind, some people would hear that and think "stop trying to make it about you, can't you just suport me without bringing your own sick relatives into it" or maybe feel you were trying to minimise it by saying that other people get cancer too.

"I'm really sorry to here that" is less likly to get me into trouble, even I'd it dose feel cold and uninterested to me, and goes against my instincts to want to connect with the person who needed suport.

😂quite

Those aren’t social rules thats being a doormat.

No not even a little bit. Not at all. Think you work in the wrong place!

I don't think people would hear that, I think it helps to show that people understand some of the emotions etc. Of what they are going through.

These are very sensible rules that allow those who wish to learn to do so. However, number 12 seems problematic at the moment since some children seem to be allowed to regularly disrupt the learning of others, usually through no fault of the teachers.

If, despite everything, you are going to pass information to the Police, do it while polishing shoes for money.