Parenting classes

[inthecornersofmymind]

Could anyone share their experiences with parenting classes? Were they useful for you, and how did they help?

Thank you.

Anyone?

What kind of parenting classes ?
I have been on several becsuse my son has severe disabilities, Ime ,they didnt tell me anything I didn't already know but I did meet other parents in similar situations
Sometimes you have yo go on these courses aa a way of accessing more help.

Totally useless with a side helping of patronizing, a feeling of coercion in having to go to them to access any help for my ASD child, and not really inclusive of Asian culture. The tip of the iceberg was the start of the first session when the group leader started joking about how "Us mums are hopeless at tech, don't we all just get our kids to do anything techie?" Maybe that line was funny in 2012. IDK. Painfully out of touch in all aspects, really. Both courses (different leaders) so I think it's systemic.
And for the record, no, my 3-year-old wasn't exactly my go-to for tech support, given I have an MSc in IT. But the assumption was us females couldn't possibly be intelligent or why would we need a parenting course. And that's really why they're so flawed. They're largely aimed at Kelseigh-Mae who left school at 14 and smokes 20 a day and doesn't know that kids need to be washed and fed.

Thank you for your comment. We have a very challenging 4-year-old son, and I have consistently followed the gentle parenting approach, but it hasn't worked out well for me.

My biggest worry is that with school starting in September, he may have difficulty adapting and could misbehave, despite being very well behaved at his current nursery.

Is it the Triple P?
I went on a learning disabilities adapted version of Triple p its supposed to help you yo help manage your child's challenging behaviour
As I said I didnt find it paticularly helpful other than meeting ,other parents ,but it csn help you access more help.

I haven't explored Triple P yet, and I prefer not to join groups due to the fear of judgment.

I take the blame for our son's poor behavior, as he has no additional needs to justify it.

Wow, just wow!

I feel for you and I'm sorry that things didn't go as well as they should have.

I absolutely refuse to attend group parenting classes; I need to explore other options.

Who is suggesting you do? You might benefit from sharing experiences.

Hello

Although no one has suggested that I take part in group parenting classes, the two posters above have shared their experiences.

I understand that hearing about other parents' experiences might be beneficial, but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a group environment. I prefer that all the focus is on me alone; I have no interest in sharing my difficulties with people I don't know.

So are you thinking of doing a parenting class? With other parents, or is there some one to one support available?

I've done a few parenting classes, they were fine in general. As above, didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know (not in a big headed way, I just found the info very basic) & any further questions from parents were answered with something like 'Well we can't help everybody/don't know everything'.

You do meet others in the same/similar situation, this is true. Sometimes it's nice to just have a chat with another parent that you don't know. Difference perspective etc.

But tbh I just finished one that was full of judgemental parents & it was a terrible experience for me. So I won't be doing any more unless I have to (all of mine so far have been my own choice, just trying to make things better for us as a family)

That’s not a parenting class though. By nature classes are group sessions. It would be a form of mentoring or counselling otherwise. You are not obliged to share more than you choose, just listennand choose what advice may feel relevant.

I seriously considered attending classes, I'm very sorry to hear about your negative experience; that's yet another reason why I'm hesitant to participate in classes.

Additionally, I want to mention that I've recently begun therapy for myself. There are many aspects of my life that require attention and improvement, but the behaviour of our 4-year-old is my top priority.

Thank you. I left one of the sessions in tears (online sessions) & the organiser did phone me for a chat after, & I suspect something was said to the others, as the comments stopped after that (but the damage was done, for me)

I think that people generally find them fine, there was a thread on here the other day about classes, I'll see if I can find it for you.

I hope that the therapy helps you. I'm in counselling myself.

Oh I can't find it the other thread now. It was somebody (possibly a SW) who was wanting to set up her own parenting classes.

"They're largely aimed at Kelseigh-Mae who left school at 14 and smokes 20 a day and doesn't know that kids need to be washed and fed.".

We had a Kelseigh-Mae type on my first parenting course. Literally had no clue and lasted two sessions. They are mostly parenting for idiots, but the idiots don't stick around. I was the only parent on mine who wasn't a teacher. You know, those employed educated people who generally know more about kids than most of us. Long story short, my child's behaviour never improved, triggered a referral to early help which led to DLA financial support and finally an autism diagnosis. Process was worth it, the dopey classes weren't.

I really appreciate your kindness; you're so sweet.

I really can't figure out what my next move should be from this point.

I truly love our 4-year-old, and I wouldn't alter anything about him, but I must tackle his behaviour before September arrives.

Can you ask your hv or gp for suggestions as to who might help?

That was me! I kinda left the thread hanging though, my bad, as I’m still digesting some of the comments. And it’s helpful to think about people like you OP who don’t want a group set up. What’s coming to mind for me with your query is an organisation I have done training with called Language of Listening. I did a course with one of their coaches (Rachel Norman who has a website ‘a mother far from home’). I haven’t completed the training but would love to coach parents in their methods.

Anyway, I don’t know what they would charge for 1-1 coaching but I’ll link the site here in case of any interest. It is American so I imagine you could find something closer to home if you search ‘parenting coach’. The trouble is, like people pointed out on my thread, anyone can call themself a parenting coach and the quality could be variable. The research around therapy and counselling shows that the relationship is the most important thing, above the method used, so the main thing is for you to take time to find someone you feel you can trust and like working with, as well as the way they guide you.

https://www.languageoflistening.com/authorized-coaches/

Oh brilliant! I didn't post on it but remembered it

inthecornersofmymind I'd also suggest asking the HV or GP, or if you Google for your area there will likely be some kind of parenting hub. This is where I found my first parenting classes but they may offer advice/something else. There was also a little playgroup in the library that was run by a HV who I found helpful to chat to after the group.

Where are you OP? I know an amazing parenting coach in S London who I can PM you about if that’s relevant. I haven’t used her but she gets amazing reviews, and it’s all 121. I suspect there are others like her around the country.

Yes please

I live in SW London, and I would appreciate a direct message.

I appreciate your suggestion.

I prefer not to consult my HV or GP because the NHS wait times are excessively long; I always choose private options instead.

Thank you very much.

I am interested in personal, face-to-face meetings.

They can suggest private options too. Parenting courses are often funded by LA rather than NHS.