Mean moms

[crazystar]

My child is new to the class and the youngest. She’s not been invited to a party by a girl she plays with.

I raised the issue with the other mum (very gently, I thought), but was told I was being childish and given a lecture about how “life is tough” and it’ll be a learning opportunity to all involved.

I’m feeling a bit taken aback. I wasn’t trying to make a big issue — just advocating for a young child who’s still finding her feet.

Would others have handled this differently, or is it best just to let it go and move on?

And this doesn't make sense either.

If your children really like each other and do get on, why would she decide to be spiteful to you?

It's a bit random isn't it?

How long ago did it happen then?

Why would she wish to be spiteful if you get on, have play dates and rhe girls are friends?

I can see it if it wasn’t a whole class party, but this seems really odd.

So you think she initiated play dates, and then thought “well for no reason at all, I’m going to not invite this child, purely to be unpleasant”.

@crazystari would only do this if I knew the mum really well. I have had people I have known well ask if an additional child can come, because they are for example usually taken home together on a Wednesday. I would prefer to be ask for a child to be included in a play date/ party than think there is a heartbroken 7 year old.

i would definitely not ask a mother I didn’t know about my own child. I would find that a bit too pushy and awkward.

Against the grain of the comments above, I know,
I think I am extremely patient though.

Hope not - I’d rather know what though

Odd comments
tbh

Like wondering what made me so confident lol

So you think it’s you> she’s excluded only your child as she dislikes you?

Your title 'mean Moms' is a bit odd.

You were incredibly rude to approach another parent and 'raise the issue'.

The other Mom sounds like she was a bit blunt, but people do tend to be a little defensive when cornered. She isn't wrong with the bones of what she said though.

Am also a bit confused about you saying she (your dd) is new if she has been there 6 months.

Oh you’re getting horrible replies, OP. It’s really cruel to leave one child out of a year group party.

Sorry “newest ?”

Other mums has approached me too
they are shocked

It can be so hard feeling like our kids are missing our or being left out, OP, but I think in future the best policy is to let it go and just do something else special for your little one if she seems upset about it. I haven't voted YABU because we're all learning how to do this motherhood thing and we all need a little grace.

Who would actually be so petty and mean spirited to refuse to invite a kid on the principle that the mum ‘demanded’ an invitation?? No one I know thank god.

Half the replies on here sound like school gate nightmares OP, don’t sweat it and just arrange a couple of play dates with other kids so your DD can make some new friends x

I’d be very cautious of getting involved with a parent who demanded an invite most definitely yes - although I may decide to make my own mind up , if I was needing to make quick choices the potential hard work parent would be last

At my DD’s primary school, whole class parties which excluded one child were very much frowned upon. You either invite the whole class or a select group of friends ( which should be no more than half the class). Very mean to do otherwise

YANBU op. The other mum sounds nasty. Shes probably had people be nasty to her too..

Ours was the same. The whole class or all girls or all boys.

I'm sure some parents would be put off by it.

But hopefully the mother (as incredulous as it seems she was) has kept the conversation to herself.

Is it a class of 13 girls or a class of 13 with 7 or so girls in?

Either way, just not inviting one girl is horrid. Approaching the Mum won't have helped, though.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Your kid won't even notice.

The End.

Oh i missed this, sorry, so how many girls in the class. So you’re saying all the boys were also excluded? How do the other mums who approached you know?

To much drama.

I think you tried your best for your DD. It’s so hard to put yourself out and ask, she could have been kinder. You know now what type of person you’re dealing with.