If you were a bridesmaid, how much would you be prepared to pay for a hen do?

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I’m interested, as my DH has just paid £800 for a stag weekend to Portugal (golfing!) and that doesn’t even include meals and drinks.

Not for us. We’ve all been in different financial positions over the years, but we still make the effort to attend things. I put the trip to South Africa for one friend’s wedding a few years ago on a 0% credit card as I was in my 20s and not earning enough to cover an extra holiday that year. I would never have missed the wedding.

It’s just different priorities. My friends are important to me and I love “showing up” for people, to use a cheesy phrase.

I personally wouldn’t pay more than £200 because I’d hate to go on a hen do. 😂 I love holidays, but I don’t want to go on them with my friends. That ship has long sailed!

I think £500 is quite typical. I mean I have just paid £500 ish for flights, hotel and airport parking for 4 days in Spain, not including food or days out. I’m quite happy about that, but I wouldn’t pay that much to do it for a hen do, so I suppose it’s what you enjoy and can afford.

£800 no chance.
about £300 if I really liked them, or maybe a smidge more if something I really wanted to do

How on earth did you get a weekend at a spa hotel plus a meal for £150?? Pre cost of living crisis? 😂

Depends whether it was something I wanted to do or not. A weekend in Portugal golfing no a week in new York absolutely. I will pay a lot more for something I want to do

Depends on the group going. It works a bit more when the main attendees are all friends with each other properly.

Not so much when it's paying £500+ to holiday with two of your friend's uni mates, someone from their work, two school friends, the future SIL etc.

Wow, I think this thread really shows how people have different priorities. I've done all sorts and paid all sorts to show up for my friends even when i've not really wanted to. Prime example, being a hen do in ibiza which is not really my thing, i'm more of a benidorm girl, but I had an absolute blast and spent thousands.

Similarly, another friend went on a 3 day cruise to bruge for her hen do which again, was not my thing, but I had a great time. I just threw myself into it because she was a lifelong friend.And I made friends with her other friends.

Edited to add that neither of those friends turned up to my 40th in benidorm, because they have useless husbands and they have kids. I have never married so that was my hen/wedding/ their turn to show up for me . But I honestly have no resentment for that because different strokes for different folks

£200 in UK if food included. More for abroad but it would depend who was going and if it was somewhere I wanted to visit, and if it meant I’d get to see enough of the place. Weekend in a cool city with lots of mooching, great. Beach break in some swanky resort, not so much.

I think women are much more aware of budget when organising this sort of thing (and members of the party may spend money on new outfits etc, but usually hotel costs, flights are well-thought-out). Men don’t tend to think this way. They just blindly give whatever money is asked. Finding a good deal isn’t really a thing. Sorry if that’s a massive generalisation!

I’ve no in interest in hen dos abroad and being expected to spend that kind of money on one is my worst nightmare. I’m a bit old for that now anyway and similarly all OH’s friends are past stag do age! He goes away the occasional weekend with mates but always UK and never more than a couple hundred at the very most.

I'd pay it but only if it was somewhere I really wanted to go.

I wouldn’t go away for a hen do. A meal or an activity is the most I would do. £800 for a weekend away excluding food and drinks is ridiculous.

It really depends but my overall opinion, which doesn’t seem to be the popular one or done thing nowerdays, is that if one person is dictating what we do the whole trip then they should be making a heavy contribution to it.

Honestly I’m not into the idea of having a wedding in general because the thought of me making everyone gather in a room to watch me walk in in a fancy dress gives me absolute self ick so doubt I’ll ever be in this position, but the idea of being like “hi we’re going to X country that I’ve chosen at a hotel that only I’ve chosen and we will be doing all these activities I’ve chosen because it’s all about ME so please transfer £800 to facilitate MY dream weekend!” is mortifying to me.

It would depend what we were doing. If it was a trip I’d really enjoy despite it being a hen do, probably a couple of thousand. I’d spend that going away with friends and it wouldn’t impact our family’s ability to go on holiday or anything. But if it was long weekend of nightclubs while wearing penis hats, then closer to a few hundred.

Assuming your DH and the men he’s going with love a golf holiday, I could see why it might seem worthwhile. But if it means others in the family have to go without, then it’s not reasonable.

Yes as a PP said its about priorities. I don't like the heavy assumption some have made that not attending a £££ hen do means you are 'not showing up' for friends. Conversely i think expecting people to spend £££ on a hen do to prove you are their friend is tone deaf- particularly in the current economic climate, and considering people have strains on their finances when they have mortgages and children. Dropping £800 takes away from a family budget- our annual one week summer holiday is around £3k. I simply could not ever be in a position where I would impact our budget that much affecting DH, DCS 1 and 2 just because someone thought i had to show up to a hen do. In my 20s and early 30s- possibly, of course. Because life is usually different then. More disposable income for a start.

For a hen weekend, up to £300 but it would make me grit my teeth and I’d want plenty of notice. I’d prefer to stick to £150-200.
For a holiday abroad playing golf with buddies and labelling it a stag do, well I’d pay normal holiday prices. I don’t think they’re the same thing really. I’d happily pay (if I had time to plan and save) £500 + food to go on a city break somewhere and go on boat trips etc for 3 nights or something. I’m not going to pay that to drink in a grotty bar somewhere, playing silly games.

Amongst my close group of friends, we have spent that (and more), but we’ve always talked about it and decided on something that suits everyone. If one of us wasn’t in a position to do it, we would do something else as it’s more important that we’re all there.

If money isn’t an issue and the person wants to go, I don’t see it as too much.

It totally depends on your social circle and income. I wouldn't dream of paying £800 for a hen do. As someone else mentioned, a spa weekend in the UK or renting a cottage would be really nice. When I got married one of my closest friends wasn't working and another was in a low paid job so I hosted an evening at my place and cooked for everyone. The most important thing for me was to make sure nobody was excluded due to their financial situation.

It being a golf trip changes things a bit. Golf isn’t cheap, although somewhat cheaper in Portugal than UK. That might even been the reason for the choice as they will get more golf for their money. But it’s more like a golf weekend before a wedding than a £££ stag weekend.

£550 is the most I've paid, wasn't a bridesmaid though, just a guest.
But it was 4 nights Ibiza and I like Ibiza.

I think sometimes when people complain about the cost of these things, they forget that they actually get to go and enjoy it too 😂

It depends partly who it is and partly where it is. I paid about that to go on my friend's sister's hen a few years back, I wasn't that bothered about the hen tbh as much as I do like her sister and have known her since she was about 11, but I was thrilled to be going on holiday with my friend to a place I've always wanted to go so happy to spend the money!

£50

£600 max for hen do and that’s everything. But I would only do that for close family/friends. Any one else £200 max.

Well he’s paying to go on a fun weekend with his mates. It costs whatever it costs. Either he can afford it or he can’t.

£200 max. When you consider the cost of the wedding as well and people giving up their time for you.