Life is so frigging lonely. Not sure there’s any solutions, just a bit of a pity party

[greenturquoiseblue]

I have a five year old and a two year old.

I work two days a week. I’m a teacher. I go to work and teach, teach, break (for one of those days I am on break duty so no break) teach, teach, lunch (for one of those days I am on lunch duty so no lunch) then teach.

So the ‘socialising’ at work is basically one thirty five minute lunch and one fifteen minute break a week.

The rest of the time I’m home with my two year old. Obviously we aren’t at home all the time and we do get out and about but while I speak to people in passing it’s very much superficial, which is fine and nice but no lasting friendships.

Most other mums I know either work full time or different days to me.

I have three days with toddler on the trot and by day 3 I am generally feeling a bit down. DH is away in the week so I don’t even get to speak to an adult in the evening, it’s just get children to bed and often go to bed myself.

If your dh is away a lot - why don’t you call him in the evenings whilst you’re pottering around? or join an online game together - lots of options there from online Board games you can chat whilst you play, or even something daft like a Roblox game

what is stopping him from talking to you if he’s dumped you with the kids half the week the least he can do is keep you company!

my mum was alone after dad died - different situation - but we’d often watch an easy tv show “together” like Traitors whilst chatting on voice whilst I was simultaneously doing ironing or sewing on kids’ name labels or picking up Lego .

@slet sorry you find it frustrating but I literally say in the title there’s not really a solution 🤷‍♀️ I’m sorry I’m not rich enough for a gym, can’t leave tiny children alone while I go out running and don’t tend to have long chats with my mates on the phone! In any case a phone call isn’t really what I’m about. It’s just a long day with a toddler and then in the evening … nothing.

It will change in time but right now this is how it is; it isn’t changing, it’s OK to say that and that it can be hard.

We do get out and about in the day but most things are in the morning so I can go from 11 am to the following day without really speaking to anybody, maybe a bit of a chat on the school run. It can be hard!

I get it…and if a friend rang me in the evening, as lovely as this person might be, I’m usually juggling bedtime for my toddler, tidying up, and then fall asleep, so I’d try to figure out if anything is wrong with her and if not, end the call pretty soon. My social contacts are toddler groups and an evening doing my hobby while DH watches our child. I think adult life with children can be lonely nowadays because we all have too many things to juggle.

Have you looked at the website Meet Up? It will show you events that are in your area. .

Try and find at least one mum friend, it makes a world of difference. You can look after your toddlers but together and have a chat and take them out. It changes everything.

You need something for just you. I’d highly recommend a Community Choir. Singing with other people is incredibly joyful, uplifting and amazing for your mental health.

It’s true, it releases all 4 happy hormones and is great for bonding. Singing is amazing for your physical health - stimulates the vagus nerve and all the breathing nice fresh oxygen in! I’d recommend OP finds a regular babysitter and goes to choir but it’s not for everyone.