Can anyone offer any thoughts on my counselling

[Springstarling]

I've had lots of CBT in the past,that hasn't helped me ( diagnosed autistic)
Finally I am having counselling but it's causing me anxiety
To be fair everything does cause me anxiety at the moment
But generally what do people get out of counselling?
,we can't change the past
Whatever I tell the counsellor could be wrong

as two people often see situations differently,And i know for a fact my parents would of said they were good parents
.despite me being told numerous times things they did were abusive.
Last week I cancelled it and made an excuse,this week I'm wanting to do the same.
For anyone who had a difficult childhood,did counselling help you ?
Is it literally that the counsellor listens ?
Because she says nothing when I tell her awful things ,so it leaves me feeling uncomfortable
I thought counsellors would offer their thoughts, encourage me to come to terms with the situation and enable me to move on.
In all honesty I've found chat gtp more helpful,as it gives me suggestions and ways to move forward
I'm not sure if I'm being deliberately difficult,or the counsellor who is a trainee is not in her stride,or counselling literally is just listening.
But I'm getting very overwhelmed having to discuss my past ,I don't feel it's helping me ,I feel keep bring up abuse is keeping the situation alive in my head ,where forgetting it and not thinking about it is more likely to help me move on with my life

What type of counselling is it, though? Have you discussed with your therapist the goals you want to achieve, ideally?

It's through for people who suffered abuse
And no nothing was discussed about the goals
I was given a list of expectations and rules at the start ,but I can't remember what they are ,but it was what they expected of me

Is your counsellor trained in counselling with autistic individuals? It sounds like she is probably not as she is a student. What is her counselling approach/modality?

Neurodivergent individuals can struggle with talking therapy depending on what you find difficult due to your autism. So you might not be someone that processes feelings by talking about them, which is what a lot of counselling is based on. You might also find AI is working for you because it is taking all the sensory/social load away from you which counselling might not be doing. Your counsellor might be inadvertently reinforcing your social masking behaviours by expecting things like eye contact etc.

There is a book by Steph Jones called 'The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy'. It's an easy read and might help you with some of your concerns.

It's really life changing finding a true neuro inclusive therapist.

Are you on any medication?

The counsellors first language is not English,Andi wonder if that is causing an issue,as in why she doesn't say much when I tell her things ..but I can't be sure .
No she doesn't seem to have a great understanding of autism
The sessions are on line with camera on ,which I did explain at the start I would find incredibly difficult to do ,and I'd prefer a phone conversation.but I was told camera on was a condition of the therapy

No I'm not on medication

At what point do I stop if I feel it's not working for me
Or am I just making excuses to not do it ,as it's going to be difficult and overwhelming by the nature of it

Maybe face to face sessions with a different counsellor maybe a better option.

Surely it has been suggested by a professional over the years?

As in I need to be medicated?

I would say that in the basis of your Op, it’s worth a shot

I am a therapist, and I have also had a lot of therapy. Yes, it can be enormously helpful in your situation. While you can’t change the past, you can process it, come to terms with it, and explore how what has happened to you is playing out in your life now.
It doesn’t sounds from what you have said, that the counsellor is meeting your needs in the way you hoped. It might be modality, it might be that you aren’t working with the right person for you. Counselling isn’t usually just listening, but some modalities encourage that.
I have worked with a lot of clients who have had CBT already, and quite often it’s a big adjustment, as often in CBT the therapist leads, and other therapy can feel less structured afterwards.
Being a trainee isn’t necessarily a problem, as some are amazing, but it will depend as some will be better than others.
You don’t need to relive your trauma to process it, and I wonder whether that is what is making you feel anxious. It might be better to try to work with it more slowly.
Are you with an agency, or with a trainee in private practice? If the former, you might be able to switch therapists. If the latter, you can choose a different one. If you feel able to, it would be helpful to explain to the therapist how you feel, and see what happens from there.

wishing you well

My doctor says I'm not depressed,she says it's autism and ADHD causing me difficulties

And she didn’t suggest medication for your adhd?

Waiting list .long wait

I need to get up and get on with my day will come back later to any replies

Good post from @therapist78 — I’m also having somatic therapy for dealing with the longtime effects of CSA, but I couldn’t have done it online. I think you need to find someone who is experienced in working with people autism, and face to face. And who will go very slowly.

But if you already have the diagnosis?

I have a psychologist not a counsellor, she operates in many different ways. In some ways she reflects back to me the things I’m saying in a way that helps me understand. Finding the right therapist is transformational - I mean beyond transformational.

I am undiagnosed adhd - although it’s clear I am.

I also take meds for anxiety.

I guess face to face may help you more?

Wooo, be very careful suggesting medication from an unqualified place when we don’t know the nuances and history of the OP, or even if we did tbh! X

This Op has never tried any medication for what sounds like debilitating anxiety and also adhd.

You don’t think worth raising with a professional?

Now that I have seen your updates….

if online isn’t working for you, can you try in person? Phone work is quite hard, as you miss out so much info when you can’t see someone, both as a therapist and as a client. A lot of trainees won’t be able to offer it, and personally I don’t either, as it’s so hard to know how what you say is received. Can you turn your own camera off? Having that on won’t be a condition, she just needs to see you.
How many sessions have you had?
honestly, therapy can be hard, but if it’s consistently overwhelming, that indicates something is not quite right about it for you.
wishing you well

Change your counsellor op. It sounds like you feel pressured into talking and “being counselled” and it shouldn’t be like that.
Find someone who is experienced.

You need a psychologist with specific expertise in this area.

it sounds like your current therapist follows the "person-centred" approach which is obviously not working for you @Springstarling

You may find, that a more structured/directed approach would be more effective for you.

You could look at either Applied Behaviour Analysis or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Do bear in mind though @Springstarling that not all therapists are equal and some you just may not "click" with and that's perfectly valid.

The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with your therapist and that the whole process is beneficial, for you.

It really is a trial and error process, just may take a while to find the right fit.

Good luck lovely, there are some excellent practitioners out there.

oops; mis-labelled