How can I work?

[littlemousebigcheese]

Not sure what I’m after here, just need a rant. My daughter is autistic and has significant needs. She can’t use breakfast or after school club so my working hours are limited. In addition, anything like swimming lessons through school requires me to support. 6 or 7 afternoons a term so not huge but something that needs to be considered because if it’s not swimming, it’s something else where I’m expected to be at the school to help. I’ve also been called to collect her several times when she’s not able to continue the day or had to keep her home. I’m not complaining about HER, I love her to death and although it’s exhausting and hard I wouldn’t change her. BUT.
i would love a job or career. Im qualified to Masters level but i just do not see how i can get a job? Or what job i can even do. My husband is very supportive and does more than his fair share but is a higher earner so works 9-6 mon - Fri so that also hinders a bit as I have to do school runs morning and afternoon. I basically need a job that lets me dip in and out if needed, 9.30 - 3 max? It seems like it should be easy as there should be positions available to parents who have children with needs but no. I just want to cry really as I want something for me, I want to feel purposeful and useful and more than I currently am but it’s so hard!

@2old4thispoohow about something like a home based proof reader

I'm also in your position and I work every other weekend. It means I'm always around for the many appointments, dramas and unfortunate events that happen during the week.

You say DD has been seen by OT, but does she have ongoing direct and indirect SIOT provision? If not, that is something that could help.

Has the OT (&/or a ToD if DD has APD - ToD aren’t just for Deaf pupils despite what LAs often say) done a walkthrough of the school looking at how to improve the acoustics for DD? If not, that is something they could do.

I would also pursue SALT provision at the next AR.

Thank you so much for all the ideas. Don’t think I have brain capacity for my own business or to go self employed but I will look into civil service! I will also look into checking acoustics of school as that’s a fantastic idea, thank you. Her EHCP specifically mentions noise but don’t think much has been done to manage it so really happy you’ve given me such robust suggestions to raise with them

I don’t think I could give up weekends as it’s time together but I’m glad it’s worked for you xx

Thank you for understanding. It’s exhausting isn’t it xx

Thank you. I don’t know if my brain is too tired for a PhD but it is definitely something I considered after my second masters so thank you for the suggestion.

I’ve been in your position op. I really needed to work for my own sanity not so much the money as dh was working long hours to support us. We decided he would find a part time job so I could also work part time. We were lucky enough to find jobs that worked for us and someone was always at home for the inevitable weekly call to fetch dd etc. as dd got older her needs became less and we both slowly took on extra hours.

Not RTFT so apologies if already suggested, but with your SLT professional experience and SEN lived experience, could you work freelance? There seems to be a growing demand for people to help with EHCP requests for example. You could do this around your daughter's needs and pick up as much or as little work as you're able to.

Strange suggestion, but have a look t see if you have any Coach / Bus companies in your area that do School transport contracts.
I have worked for a few, and often my admin or accounts support team are on term time only contracts and part time.

I’m in a similar to your situation - look at part-time roles within the public sector (or charities). Even if working from home is not actively stated, you can often arrange it as accommodation. I have flexible working, so can clock out to deal with emergency/taking kids swimming etc. and then clock back in later in the day (or glue it in a 30min at a time on top of other days). I’m working about 5h/week less than I could fit at maximum to give me some leeway and have gone for a post that was below my qualifications (again so I don’t drop the ball if all I got was 3h of sleep).

Were you in education (SLT?) Tutoring could be flexible, online or in person, during the school day. A lot of teachers are leaving to do this as it’s more lucrative.
What job does your DH do?!

Im in a similar position and Im lucky that aside from one day a week in the office most of my work takes place at home or in the evenings, but we really need the money so I don’t have the option not to find a solution, and even then I can only manage part time. However I think in your position i would find some interesting volunteer work. I think at this point youre just going to cause your self more stress if you add a daytime job into the mix. Don’t underestimate the stress that juggling work responsibilities and a child with additional needs might cause.
The other thing that jumped out is that you feel fortunate that your dd is in mainstream. Why?! I know several other parents whose children are at special schools and manage to work part time out of the house jobs with more ease than I do, because their child is properly catered for and they are not lurching from one crisis to another. If I thought I could get it for my dd i would jump at the chance.

It’s also disability discrimination. I recognise that it can be difficult for schools (I was a SENCo for many years) but they can’t just say either you come or your child doesn’t swim. Not acceptable.

Does your local hospital have a nurse bank? Some will take you on as a healthcare support worker. Usually a variety of shifts available during evenings, weekends and nights

Yes I worked in education, both secondary school and then university.
my husband works in fintech
i think a job would make me feel useful and like I had a purpose outside of crisis management and repeating myself a hundred times a day!

If you were school SLT could you tutor on weekends or evenings or could you offer something in the home ed sphere?

My friend had a very similar situation with her son, and she bought a cleaning franchise, which meant she worked from home and could choose her hours. Some kind of franchise might work for you, sort of self employed but also with support from the parent company. She literally plans her work around childcare (and could deal with unexpected call ins to school), and it was easy to make up time in the evenings if needed. In the holidays, she sets aside days/hours for work and time for kids stuff. She takes her work phone everywhere, so she can answer calls from clients, eg on the school run or even while watching the swimming lesson. You need to put some money in to but the franchise, but there are different price options.

I think tutoring is a good suggestion.

or what about contacting CAB about volunteering? Your work and life skills would be extremely valuable.

or freelance SEN support.

maybe a charity trustee or school governor role? Neither would pay , but gave great value and also give you good experience to put on your cv for when your situation is a little more settled.

I've been in a similar situation. I've volunteered and become quite well-known in my village for solving long-term issues which were apparently impossible to solve previously. I stopped my senior job/career ...it took me 4 years to come to terms with it. A bereavement, of sorts, of who I was professionally and who I identified as. But I am so proud of my child and their development because of me. I am proud of myself for the competencies I have that I've used for my child, first...and my village.

Over time, my child has reduced the times I have had to pick them up from school, and can now take action on the majority of issues, themselves, to resolution. It's been a lot of work. I am now thinking (6 years after) of having a flexible WFH job around their school hours starting this September.

Things will change, as you support your child in understanding themselves, the world, getting their voice heard, confidence and independence grow.
Do a self-assessment as to where you stand ever so often, and do what you're able to at the time. Use your competencies and ensure you grow too.

Ok well I know a number of educators who are home educating their SEND children or for other reasons, who also then educate others after school or during the day as well, both in person and online and even have a few SEND kids online overseas for example. If you were ambitious you could even set up a home schooling/tutoring thing - there is a massive market gap there.

I think you could make a massive difference harnessing your own personal and professional experience.

These jobs do exist I have one ! I do 8.30-2.30 admin at a car dealership and flexible with kids