Would you enjoy this wedding?

[toastand]

DP & I have decided to get married and we’ve spent the past week pricing up different days. DP is keen on a larger wedding, ceremony & reception all weekend type do. Manor House/Barn type thing. I was happy to marry just us and the kids in a nice registry office. I’d rather not get into debt and marry sooner.

3:30pm - Ceremony in London town hall
4:00pm - Photos & confetti throw
4:30pm - Chilled Prosecco & Beers on hired out bus.
5:00pm - Arrive at reception, welcome drinks and canapés. Singer or saxophonist.
6:00pm - 3 course sit down meal, plenty of wine & beer.
8:00pm - DJ
9:00ish: Evening Food
12:00am: Home

The reception is a lovely restaurant, exclusive hire, meal upstairs then into basement for party. We’d be spending at least 6 thousand on catering & venue, I’m wincing at this but it’s one of the cheaper options I’ve found.

All rough timings for now but would you attend this? My parents, siblings and nieces/nephews alone is 22. Both mine and DP’s family and friends are in London, he has a few family members who’d be travelling from Wales & up North.

Weve managed to compromise on about 60 guests for the entire day. I’m of course doing most the leg work in researching and enquiring, and to be honest I’m not sure he understood what weddings cost until I sat him down today and ran through the quotes.

Does this sound okay or do I need to go back to the drawing board?

Hi! I can’t work out how to pm! Could I ask whether you had a song as you walked down the aisle? It’s obviously quite short isn’t it and just can’t imagine how I’d do it x

Did you feel rushed at all having the 10-15 mins outside for photos or was it enough? What time was your ceremony and how did you set up for the venue, was it the day before? I’ve just seen that we wouldn’t have access until 6pm so I’m trying to work out timings!

I’m glad you had a lovely day, it sounded amazing.

We did similar to this! It was brilliant.

We did Camden Town hall. Maybe slightly earlier as then we did a bus journey across town to East London. We had booze on the bus! Easy for people to say no.

Then we had canapés and drinks on arrival and a meal around 6.

I really didn’t want a big hotel wedding where I had little control. This was perfect. London is such a good location for a wedding.

Enjoy!

I’ve been to many weddings….and it’s been a mix of paid bar and free bar. There’s usually wine on the table but sometimes not even that.

I love this! I walk or bus past Islington Town Hall most days and there are such varied weddings on, always gives me a little lift to see people happy! The only thing from your first post was pointers for accommodation for those coming further but I see you’ve already addressed this.

I think it sounds brilliant, and the bus a bit of fun!

it’s lovely to read about a wedding where it’s about the guests enjoyment too.

Think you mentioned it, but extra food at nine probably not necessary

have a fabulous day

We are English and put £3000 behind the bar for our wedding once that was gone it was a paid bar but we also had a glass of champagne for each guest in addition so I don't think many people paid for drinks in the end.

We had food around 6-7 and didn't have any other food for the rest of the night. Ok reflection I think it might have been a good idea to have something so I think your ideas sound great OP, have a lovely wedding!

Sounds good to me. Better than an all day wedding.

On accomodation, we have been invited to a wedding this summer and they have paid for many guests hotel rooms for the night but it's quite remote and a stately home and they are quite well off, we didn't do this as we couldn't afford it!

@Goldenbear My DD is thinking of a cheese cake for late - worked well at her 21st and DHs 60th. You choose the cheeses and build up from a big one into a cake shape. Yes. In my experience, the hosts pay for the bar but if they cannot afford it, they don’t.

I think that is a great idea, I went to a wedding where they had this as their main cake, no sweet cake whatsoever, it was very successful as obviously loads left to pick at over the evening! The reason I think not having late evening food is a mistake is because I was a bit embarrassed that people were heading out for some chips or pizza (as live in a city) late at night and then returning at 11 as our reception ended at 1 am. Also, people had been drinking lots by then so wanted some food.

It's your wedding so you can have whatever you want! Personally I would hate the bus (I only have to look at a bus and feel sick!), and I wouldn't like the singer or saxophonist. I'm sure it will be a lovely event.

How will people be getting to the ceremony? And how far is the reception from the ceremony?

If people are bringing their car to the ceremony then they will want to take it onwards to the reception so that they don't have to retrace their journey to collect their vehicle last thing at night.

For central London I would think most will be getting public transport? Parking is tricky.

We sorted our own disabled parking for those that needed it nearby.

I would love that. If I was invited I'd find some good value accommodation in London (I sometimes manage that) and make a weekend of it and do something touristy or museum based the morning of the wedding and the next day.

I have been to a wedding in London very very similar to what you have planned and I must say it was one of the best weddings I was ever at.

Just a couple of things I suggest based on my experience. With regards to processo on the bus, research the route the bus is taking and make sure it is not too bumpy of going up and down streets with speed bump. The bus we were on went down loads and many of us were wearing our drinks by the end of the journey (although it was a great way of people who did not know each other to bond - sharing tissues, napkins etc).

If you can send people a list of nearby train stations and train routes so they can easily work out the location of the reception in relation to tube stations etc. Admittedly this was before google maps was a big thing but I ended up taking a taxi when I could have easily taken a tube. It was just the tube looked ages away from the venue when it actually was only a few mins away.

I'm sure many do. It's still completely normal and acceptable not to. Glass or two of something on arrival, wine on table with food and cash bar after that is very standard.

Anyone grumbling at hotel prices doesn't have to come. As they say it's an invitation not a summons. If it doesn't suit some people that's up to them.

@DappledThingsSome people will feel obliged to go and will find it expensive in London. You cannot please everyone but getting to London, checking in and getting to a wedding for 3 on the same day is difficult. Relatives will do it but some will find costs eating into their holiday money unless they all have good jobs.

I’ve messaged you!

Thanks @purplecorkheartgood idea to scope out the route!

Was there anything else that made it particularly memorable? I’m really keen on everyone being able to enjoy themselves.

I think it sounds brilliant.

I think the bus is a good and pragmatic idea so that it's easy for everyone to get from wedding to reception. I don't drink but would still like it. I like pps suggestion of cans (or bottles) of G&T, beer and soft drinks as a more practical option.

I can see that some people are suggesting a later dinner but personally I think your timings are better to avoid too much hanging around beforehand. Ill admit I prefer to eat early, but hanging around before food has the potential to be the most boring bit of a wedding IMO so your timings are right for me. I think the evening food could be relatively small like bacon rolls and could potentially be a bit later. Don't have a strong view on canapés.

I'd not expect a free bar as a wedding guest other than a welcome drink and maybe wine for the table. I wouldn't expect my accommodation to be paid for either but if you want to it's a nice gesture.

Travelling 3 hours on the day is fine.

ETA I think with any wedding it's good to set expectations of timings in advance i.e. a brief itinerary like you've set out here. And maybe explain the bus bit i.e. short journey with a detour.

@Wonderwall23 Where do they get changed for the wedding after three hours of travel? They need an early hotel room and this might be difficult. It’s not the time it takes to travel, it’s the London logistics when you arrive.

Paying for a bar is probably cheaper than paying for hotels!

Absolutely no need to have a free bar or pay for hotel rooms etc. If people want to attend your wedding they can sort themselves out. It’s not your responsibility to pay for those things.

The Bride and Groom had buffet tables set up around the venue for the food. It meant people were not waiting for ages while other people served themselves, it also meant that there was no risk of gluten and gluten free food being mixed up.

They did cupcakes (with not a crazy amount of icing) and had these displayed on a special stand instead of a cake. They also had a quiet space for people who wanted to chat rather than dance.

@cramptrampAt a smart wedding, no money at the bar is unusual. Budget end is different and people tend to have expectations depending on knowledge of couple and venue. Many will do Airbnb or budget hotels but many weddings will have a bar which is mostly free.

I have been to many weddings over the years (including 2 of my own 😊) and I think this sounds like a really nice wedding plan! I much prefer less formal weddings to the typical expensive hotel or middle of nowhere country house type events.

My DC’s family went to a London wedding last year which had a bus. My young grandchildren are still talking about it!