Would you enjoy this wedding?

[toastand]

DP & I have decided to get married and we’ve spent the past week pricing up different days. DP is keen on a larger wedding, ceremony & reception all weekend type do. Manor House/Barn type thing. I was happy to marry just us and the kids in a nice registry office. I’d rather not get into debt and marry sooner.

3:30pm - Ceremony in London town hall
4:00pm - Photos & confetti throw
4:30pm - Chilled Prosecco & Beers on hired out bus.
5:00pm - Arrive at reception, welcome drinks and canapés. Singer or saxophonist.
6:00pm - 3 course sit down meal, plenty of wine & beer.
8:00pm - DJ
9:00ish: Evening Food
12:00am: Home

The reception is a lovely restaurant, exclusive hire, meal upstairs then into basement for party. We’d be spending at least 6 thousand on catering & venue, I’m wincing at this but it’s one of the cheaper options I’ve found.

All rough timings for now but would you attend this? My parents, siblings and nieces/nephews alone is 22. Both mine and DP’s family and friends are in London, he has a few family members who’d be travelling from Wales & up North.

Weve managed to compromise on about 60 guests for the entire day. I’m of course doing most the leg work in researching and enquiring, and to be honest I’m not sure he understood what weddings cost until I sat him down today and ran through the quotes.

Does this sound okay or do I need to go back to the drawing board?

Sounds like a totally traditional normal wedding. Very nice and certainly a day I'd look forward to.

You aren't responsible for anyone's travel arrangements or accommodation. Don't get involved.

i'd scrap the evening buffet and have bacon / veggie sausage butties at 11pm

I was going to say this! If you are eating 3 courses from 6-8 no one is going to be hungry an hour later. Maybe just do the cake then. And as you say - the longer the free bar continues the better

Sounds like great fun. Make sure the options for non drinkers and veggies are good. I agree with shifting the evening food back.

Consider check in times for recommended hotels but you don’t need to pay. I’ve been willing to change in hotel toilets if my room wasn’t ready.

Sounds lovely OP. Don't ditch the canapes or the evening food as suggested by several pps, that will just come across as mean/penny pinching. The evening food can be buffet style/fairly light, but if your guests have been drinking for several hours, more food is always a good idea.

It sounds lovely - and Marylebone Registry Office is a beautiful place to get married

I don't think you need the evening food

Travelling down the morning of is not fine. Most hotels don’t let you check in till 3pm. So you’re having to travel 3 hours in your nice wedding clothes, nowhere to freshen up etc, having to cart around bags or trying to find a way to go back to the hotel and check in amidst the wedding/ planned activities. You’ll also be expecting them to eat lunch en route for a 3 pm wedding

That said, it’s not necessarily for the bride and groom to arrange and pay for - but if you are sorting it I’d definitely allow for them to stay the night before too. Even if you only offer to pay for one of the nights. They might say they’re find travelling on the day but I’d hate it honestly.

Also, don’t let everyone talk you out of all the food! Mumsnet is not representative of normal eating. A lot of people might not have had time for a substantial lunch between getting ready and travelling across London for the wedding, a few canapés is not going to spoil their dinner. Maybe make the evening food later or go with something smaller/ more informal but also if you’re expecting people to drink it’s not a bad idea to provide extra food. Depends on the portion size for the wedding meal as well - I’ve seen some very stingy ones. The worse weddings I’ve been to have been tight with the food and drink, I’d always rather over cater honestly. If people aren’t hungry again they don’t have to partake but I’d rather have it on offer than not - maybe it could be cheese boards, or bacon sandwiches as suggested, but have something.

Overall plans sound lovely!

I second this! Had this at my brother’s wedding, went down really well.

Definitely reconsider the sax player unless you are outside. Went to an event this year where they had a saxophonist … he was excellent but totally killed conversation as he was so loud

Sounds great, but as someone who in this scenario would be ‘coming down from the North’; if I’m driving that morning (which I would and wouldn’t mind, the afternoon start time is good) where would I park? Because I might not be able to check in to my hotel til 3 or 4 which would be too late to get to the wedding as well?

Sounds amazing @toastand
, only thing I’d not have is the saxophone, last 3 weddings been to had this, and found it odd, well the ones I’ve heard…. Dressed up in suit with flashing lights and just ran around the dance floor with the LOUD sax playing scales….A chilled
blues one in the corner would of course be different!

Sounds good, although as a former caterer, you don't really need a Starter if doing canapés..
Congratulations 🎊

I was wondering about stopping off for a few posed photos. It's nice to have at least one pic which involves the whole group and maybe one of you and kids together.

All sounds great. Don't underestimate how much people can eat and drink!

You don't need canapes and dinner and evening food between 3.30 and midnight! No one normally eats three times in that period.

A substantial meal at 6 to 7pm will be fine, you can put cheese board and cake out at 10pm.

The best wedding I have been to was 6pm in a fancy London hotel. Quick ceremony, 30min of champagne, lovely dinner, very short speech, DJ. Perfect.
None of this dragging it out across a whole day with interminable hanging around a venue while they drag out photos and soggy canapes circulate.

Also Easy for travel, international guests have plenty of time to fly in earlier that day.

I also thought the evening food at 9 after dinner at 6 is quite a lot, however every wedding I have been to dinner is at 5 ish and everyone clears out the evening food and it’s only an hours difference so I would say people will eat the food.
People do generally expect it

I'd agree you don't need more food at 9 after a 3 course meal at 6 with canapes beforehand. People will have eaten lunch before the ceremony. Who eats lunch, canapes, dinner and supper?

Otherwise all sounds good if it's what you like. Main thing is make sure you have a chance to talk to everyone and actually enjoy it.

I wouldn’t be keen on the drinks on a bus but wouid do it to be polite or would skip that bit if I could find another way to get to the venue for the later stages. That reeks of drunken hen parties to me, and buses make me feel sick.

i would ditch the saxophonist or replace with something less intrusive - piano, harp?

Also the benefits of having a central London.wedding is that in the event a guest really is ravenous at midnight, they can easily get themselves a kebab on the way home. No one will starve.

If you’re really concerned about the people coming in on the day and late check ins, you could book a room for the night before in the same hotel and they can use that to put their stuff and for any last minute ironing. I don’t think you need to pay hotel for all guests (madness) but this might make things logistically easier.

It sounds great! I agree with a previous poster that people won’t expect to be put up and would be happy to sort their our accommodation. The only people I’d sort and pay for would be bridal party and closest family (ie parents, grandparents).

People are normally just very honoured you’ve chosen to let them share your special day. What you’ve described sounds perfect .

That sounds great. I think you’re being generous providing food at 9 after a sit down meal at 6, you could save money and scrap the evening food. I’d much rather attend a wedding like yours than one in the middle of nowhere that is hard to get to and from. Yours in convenient for most of your family and friends and presumably there is a good choice of nearby hotels for people travelling from further afield to stay at.

Again with the ‘people won’t eat that much’ ‘who eats that much’ posts.

People do and they will at a wedding I promise, especially if there’s drink involved.

We had a late afternoon ceremony too, substantial canapés, 3 course meal and evening food and it all went. It’s not a normal day, it’s meant to be a feast and a celebration. The under catered ones just come across stingy honestly.

Sounds great.

From a food / timing perspective - we had registry office at 3, bus back to venue (exclusive use of gastropub) for Welsh cakes/ bars brith/ drinks at 4pm (Welsh wedding) , and then sit down meal at 7.30, with no evening buffet. This felt sufficient, guests all knew the timings and had time for breakfast and lunch as they liked.