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Original poster

Would you live in your current location if you had no family?

97 replies

Seashells02 · 04/01/2026 05:38

I live in my rundown hometown, about a 5min drive from parents and 15mins from siblings. I was thinking if my parents passed away, there’s no way I’d choose to live here.

I’d probably try and move abroad or further south. Does family keep you close or have you moved anyway and if so, do you regret it? What puts me off is the guilt as they get older.

OP posts:
PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 04/01/2026 05:41

I hear you - I’m in Perth Australia and it’s far too hot for too long here - I should have moved 10 years + ago now I feel stuck with parents getting older, a kid in school and nieces and nephews all within 20 minutes away… but I hate the relentless heat but I feel trapped

Monty27 · 04/01/2026 05:42

They didn't keep me in my home town. I got out as it was desolate of opportunity.
40 years ago.

Original poster
Seashells02 · 04/01/2026 05:46

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas yeah I’m worried about getting ‘stuck’. I’m pregnant just now and can’t decide if it’s more beneficial to be close to loving grandparents or if we really need to make a move out of here before we get trapped. I already feel pretty stuck here tbh but expect once kids are here, it’s even harder to make the move.

OP posts:
paristotokyo · 04/01/2026 05:51

We’ve moved countries and don’t regret it. But it helped that my parents moved first (different location) so I didn’t feel like I was bound to where I was raised. If they were still there, I think we would still have moved to be fair. DH has lived in lots of different countries so I always knew he would want to move at some point. It’s been a fresh start. I quite like not seeing the people I went to school with, as I don’t have good memories of those times and would like to put it all behind me. Taking my kids to school where people I would rather not see also had children there, that type of thing. I’m still in touch with family very regularly but now we will just see each other yearly, if possible. I don’t feel less closer to them because I see them less and actually I feel like now when we do see them, it’s much more quality time and everyone makes a bigger effort.

Carringtoncorby · 04/01/2026 06:10

No, I wouldn't. I left a big city when I became pregnant, as DH wanted to raise a family nearer to his family. We moved to a suburb of a much smaller town.

It's a lovely town and it's a place that I'll always be very fond of, but it's served its purpose for me. Now the DC have flown the nest I'd like to return to the big city.

I grew up in a very rural area, but prefer more society around me.

Monty27 · 04/01/2026 06:11

@Seashells02 I now find myself divorced and two grown up dcs living nearby in an inner city.
I'm thinking of relocating to a warmer country they'd enjoy visiting.
Don't ever feel stuck and sooner the better as roots grow deep.
It'll be grandchildren before you know it.

GnomeDePlume · 04/01/2026 06:14

We live in a fairly down at heel midlands town. We moved here mainly because it was affordable, no family here. DCs have grown up here.

Unless we were to win an absolute fortune we wouldnt move away. In the 20 years we have lived here we have put down roots, quite literally, we have an allotment which includes an orchard which we planted. We wouldnt be able to replicate this elsewhere.

Meadowfinch · 04/01/2026 06:15

No. I live where I do because I need a well paid job to support ds.
As soon as ds flies the nest I'll retire, downsize and move much further from London.

Beesandhoney123 · 04/01/2026 06:18

I would move if you. Unless you spend every weekend with your parents and they have agreed to provide childcare? Daily contentment is worth a lot.

Your parents won't want to hold you back if you would rather live somewhere else? They might secretly be thrilled and move themselves!

QuietLifeNoDrama · 04/01/2026 06:18

If you’re really not happy I’d put some proper thought into moving now either before the baby or when it’s young. We left it too long then stayed close for my Dd to be close to GPs as it felt cruel to both sides to tear them apart. We now have a plan to move once she’s at uni or a young adult but I’m well aware that parents will be aging and there could be other barriers in the way. I wish we’d done it 10 years ago.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 04/01/2026 06:19

I’d like to move down to the coast but will wait until kids are in FE. Town is ok for now.

Original poster
Seashells02 · 04/01/2026 06:23

@Beesandhoney123 I see them every weekend, a 2 hour visit or so. My DM has offered to do two days childcare for when I go back to work. I was thinking of moving somewhere about half an hour away so that I’d still see them but would escape the town (it’s pretty much falling apart).

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 04/01/2026 07:23

I hated my hometown too much to ever consider settling there when I had a family. I'd love my parents to be nearer but it was worth it to be able to make a decent life for myself somewhere that didn't hold any baggage.

Iocanepowder · 04/01/2026 07:26

I wouldn’t. I live nearly 3 hours away from my family and friends and if i was still single with no kids I would probably move back. Cheaper living costs and my current job only needs me to be in the office once a month. Ironically I think i would be less lonely if i was single.

Bimmering · 04/01/2026 07:29

I haven't lived within 2 hours of my parents since I left home after university!

It never really occurred to me to - I went where I needed to for work.

They live in a perfectly nice place. My feeling is that if they want me to help as they get older, they will need to move to me

DemonsandMosquitoes · 04/01/2026 08:37

No. Once DC have finished uni we will move. We have no family in the county, nothing to keep us here. I love my house and it’s semi rural setting but the city is pretty shit now tbh.

LavenderBlue19 · 04/01/2026 08:41

No, definitely not. I grew up in a beautiful touristy city and really miss it. I live in the suburbs of a perfectly nice, very child-friendly city, near a good school and my in-laws. It's very sensible and absolutely not where I would live if I were on my own.

SedentaryCat · 04/01/2026 08:42

No. We are planning to move when youngest DC goes to university. He's currently in his first year of 6th form.

Both DCs have told us not to rot here - have to agree with them. The town has been in decline for the past 10 years or so

Frankint · 04/01/2026 09:10

Yes, my parents and siblings live in London and I live here partly to be close to them, but mainly because I like the central London lifestyle for my family. We have good jobs, a short walk to work and school, and easy access to activities and culture. I think it's important to live in a place where you'll be happy and I'm glad I didnt move out to the suburbs after having my dcs.

StealthMama · 04/01/2026 09:29

We moved when we were young, late 20s, 250 miles away to the southern coast. We have 6yr old DC now.

wouldn’t move back at all. The access to do things here - beaches, bike rides, social, and the culture is far better than where our family lives. They do little at weekends, shopping centres, go to each others houses because everything is a reasonable drive to get to otherwise. Near a city centre but..
meh

but we knew we wouldn’t get any ‘free childcare) so it was factored into our affordability for full time nursery etc whilst we both work.

we are visited regularly through the year - because of the beach location.

in your shoes I’d be thinking about moving sooner rather than later to get somewhere you really want to raise your dc, things to do, parks, nice town, good schools.

AcidicTrifle · 04/01/2026 09:35

I’ve not lived near my family since I turned 18 and I’ve never regretted it. But we’re not a close family so I didn’t feel any guilt at the time and I wouldn’t have changed my decision.

Currently my parents live near my sibling, about 3 hours away. They aren’t from that area, they chose to move near them rather than near me or in the middle. My sibling benefits from a lot of regular free childcare from my parents. So I won’t feel guilty when my parents are older and need more care that I can’t provide.

GameOfJones · 04/01/2026 09:38

Moving 30 minutes away is literally just down the road OP!

I haven't lived under 2 hours drive from my parents since I was 18. I moved away to University and then moved further away after graduation.....down South where the work was. I now live 4 hours from them.

I love where I live now and what we have here but do wish we were closer since having children. My siblings have had far more support from my parents in terms of helping with school pick up, providing babysitting etc whereas we don't have that family support. But we love the area we're in and there are far more job opportunities round here.

Itstartedinbarcelona · 04/01/2026 09:40

Nope we would move in a heartbeat. Stayed for parents and then kids were settled in school. Wish we’d been braver at a younger age and moved but we should clear the mortgage this year and I really don’t want to take on a bigger mortgage in my 50s especially as the plan is to have more disposable cash to go on nice holidays and retire at 60. Once kids move we’ll downsize to a nicer area, in practice a smaller place will probably cost the same as our house now.

Dozer · 04/01/2026 09:47

In your situation I’d want to decide whether to bring up DC where you are now or elsewhere. And if the answer is elsewhere to plan to move to your chosen location near a popular school before the applications deadline for school entry.

One can move locations with school aged DC, but I think it’s much more complicated and risky than moving with tiny DC.

Whether to accept your mum’s kind offer of childcare is another dilemma! That’s a huge commitment and amount of work for her. Wasn’t an option for us due but it wouldn’t have been for us, unless money was a real problem.

somanychristmaslights · 04/01/2026 09:57

Seashells02 · 04/01/2026 05:46

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas yeah I’m worried about getting ‘stuck’. I’m pregnant just now and can’t decide if it’s more beneficial to be close to loving grandparents or if we really need to make a move out of here before we get trapped. I already feel pretty stuck here tbh but expect once kids are here, it’s even harder to make the move.

I’d move before your child starts school otherwise you’re stuck there for 12 years! I want to move from our town but DS8 loves his school so we wouldn’t.