Is it OK to charity shop unwanted gifts after a disagreement?

[Coffeeandallthebooks]

DH and I had an argument this morning, and since then he hasn't been speaking to me.

My mum got me a hat with a light on in a gift box. I was planning to donate it on Monday as I never wear hats.

DH bought me a decorative LOTR mug, and a Moomin backpack in burgundy as two of my gifts. I dont like these, I've nowhere to keep the mug and I can't use it to drink from. I already have 2 backpacks and only ever use 1 of them for holidays.

I was just going to keep them but should I donate them? DH is unlikely to notice, our house is chaos with 3 teens, so if he asks after them I'd just say I didn't know where they were.

Is this ungrateful and petty? Or does it make sense to get rid of things you won't use instead of keeping them for the sake of others?

I don’t think it’s ungrateful to donate, maybe a little petty after an argument though !

Why can't you at least swap the bag in store?
Maybe consider if dh is for the recycling bin also...

Personally I would sell them.
Moomin merch is popular.
Or... can't you just be honest and say you won't use the gifts and can he get a refund.
Why did he buy such random things? Did you give him gift suggestions?

What difference does it make that you had an argument?

If you don't want and can't use the items, then donate them. Or sell them.

Replace an old backpack with the moomin one and donate/bin old one.
Use LOTR mug at work or as a plant pot on windowsill.

Next year tell your husband what you would like send him links so he doesn't buy you something you will hate, do what you like with them but it seems mean to argue with your husband then donate anyway, I can't work out hat with light is it for walking or something? As an aside if I am donating unwanted gifts I wait a while then don't announce it to the people who gave me them.

The mug I’d just stick on a windowsill and use for all the random pens and pencils thst my teenagers seem to leave behind them. It will inevitably get broken. A backpack will probsbly be handy at some point for the teenager who has broken the strap / zip off their one so I’d pop thst in a cupboard as a spare. Hat to charity.

Next Christmas I’d be really specific or just buy something you want from shared funds. No presents for me as I’ve bought these lovely boots or whatever do they can be my present!

LOTR and moomins are quite specific, why did he think you’d want them if you aren’t interested in either of them?

Why has the argument changed your mind on what to do with them?
It just seems like you’re doing it to hurt your dh or start another argument?

I cannot take them back as he bought them online. He also told me he went to considerable trouble to get the backpack and ordered it from Europe.
Good call about selling it though, I just looked on eBay and I think its selling for over £40- I dont understand how as it looks awful and I love all things Moomin normally, which is why I have it.

I have these things because DH is an awful gift giver. He ignores any lists in favour of buying me 'things he knows I will love'. Or else buys me the wrong things- I sent a link to an eyeshadow for my birthday to him, he sent it on to my sister who bought it for me. He then bought me the same one for Christmas as 'I'd sent him the link so he knew I'd like it.'

He makes me feel I'm really hard to buy for so I feel guilty rehoming things. But if I'm being petty rather than ungrateful I can live with that, and I could buy something I like instead of the backpack!

I use a spare mug as a holder for the cats' chewy sticks and lik-e-lix. Mugs are always handy as pen pots, or maybe take it to work and put it in the communal mug cupboard. A LOTR mug will probably be filched quite quickly.

@Tiedyeegg what you've said is why I am hesitating about donating them, I don't want them and won't use them, but was keeping them because he bought them for me.

I think having a disagreement made me realise it was a bit stupid to keep them. I'm not keeping my mum's gift because it isn't useful, not because I dont care about her, and as long as she and DH don't know there's no reason to keep them.

Just tell him you won’t use them and ask if it’s possible to return them

I don't know why you can't donate a backpack and use the momin you like everything Momin except this Moomin thing , It just sounds like you.just are annoyed at your husband is that it he has just pissed you off and you are at the end of your tether with shit presents

Mugs just go in the cupboard usually

Yes, I am with you except for the first line of your post. What is the relevance of the argument?

I’m thinking it’s because he’ll think that she’s only donating them because they’ve fallen out, rather than because they’re no good for her and she doesn’t like them.

ETA Ignore me, I’m wrong. I missed the OP’s post.

Oh ok, well just give it a few weeks then. Out of sight is out of mind.

A hat with a light on! I'm intrigued 🤔

How do you cope without a hat? Its snowing and windy here. I needed the hat and a hood.

If you ever need to bring in logs, pick up after a dog, go out into the garden to secure things in a storm, it's really handy as you keep both hands free.

Do you really never need to go out in bad weather? Don't have emergency supplies for power cuts etc?

My cats would eat any chewy sticks not securely stored in a cat proof container. Using a mug would be pointless.

And I'd just take the mug to work where they all disappear into a giant black hole anyway.

He's never going to know it's in with the spares and not pride of place on your desk.

Why can't you use the mug? A mug is a mug surely

Give the hat back to your mum so she can get a refund. Just use the mug at home. If your DH can’t refund the bag then ask him to sell it.

Op is everything in your house "useful" ?