Is it OK to charity shop unwanted gifts after a disagreement?

[Coffeeandallthebooks]

DH and I had an argument this morning, and since then he hasn't been speaking to me.

My mum got me a hat with a light on in a gift box. I was planning to donate it on Monday as I never wear hats.

DH bought me a decorative LOTR mug, and a Moomin backpack in burgundy as two of my gifts. I dont like these, I've nowhere to keep the mug and I can't use it to drink from. I already have 2 backpacks and only ever use 1 of them for holidays.

I was just going to keep them but should I donate them? DH is unlikely to notice, our house is chaos with 3 teens, so if he asks after them I'd just say I didn't know where they were.

Is this ungrateful and petty? Or does it make sense to get rid of things you won't use instead of keeping them for the sake of others?

@Cadenza12 I've uploaded a pic of the hat pending approval!

I wouldn't wear it as the huge bobble would prevent me putting up my hood, which is waterproof and zips up to my neck. I live in the rainy West of Scotland, anything not waterproof is not for me!

I don't work in an office and own over 30 mugs which have spilled over their shelf on to every available surface. I need to throw out at least half of them, but a few are sentimental to various family members so I haven't.

This is why the adults in my family have all agreed not to buy presents any more.

So much money wasted on so much crap that nobody wants or needs.
Straight to the charity shop or even worse to the tip. What a consumerist and environmental nightmare.
Not buying presents t makes the run up to Christmas wonderfully relaxing, we all save money that we spend on enjoyable days out together instead.

No, not everything is useful, in fact my house is very cluttered. I'm recovering from a chronic illness. Not being well enough to deal with the tide of crap is very stressful, and I think this is why I'm making a big deal out of unwanted presents tbh.

The disagreement DH and I had was also related to mess and clutter!

Its just a clip on light isn't it ? Is she maybe worried if you are out walking at night and thought it would be useful.

I would wait a while until you are not annoyed before deciding to donate the gifts. It sounds like you don't want or need them anyway but donate them with a cool head.

So it has come to a head and the shit gifts are the last straw, ?

Don't throw away the mug collection ebay them!

The hat is great. I have a beanie with a light which is so useful never seen a bobble version

@Coffeeishot you could be right about that. Maybe later a calm conversation could be had about plans to tackle things together and declutter.

DS is 18 and studying English Lit, so I've just offered him the mug for his collection of book memorabilia and he would like it, so I have found somewhere to store it after all!

My DH is pretty rubbish at present buying (generally) so usually buy my own presents for him to wrap!
Occasionally send links and he'll get the suggested items......
I'm team sell them on ( also sympathise with house mess and chronic illness!)

Do you really need advice on this - Jeez

Given OP has a chronic illness, packing up a load of second hand mugs for the few quid she might get back is probably not a priority.

How do you have nowhere to keep a mug?

Our mug and glass cupboard is pretty full, why is that a weird concept?

Please send the Moomins backpack my way! Or at least tell me where you’re planning to donate it! 😆

I used to buy random useful stuff from charity shops for the kids when they were young especially after christmas when gifts were being donated. As a single parent it was fab.
If you don't like something don't keep it OP, regift, sell or donate.
Years ago we were given a large Yankee candle one year but once the lid came off I felt sick. The scent was orange / spicy. H didn't want to get rid as it was from one of his adult kids but I made it clear it went out or I would if he lit it.
He lit it when I was out and by the time I came back, he said it was actually awful and it went to charity.

If you sell them and buy yourself something you actually want with the proceeds then in a way your husband and mum will have bought you a present you are happy with.

@ThePieceHall It will be on Vinted Monday eve!

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta that's a nice way of looking at it, I feel less conflicted thinking of it like that.

Why would a charity shop want a used candle? It’ll have gone straight in the bin there!

I had a similar hat last year. The bobble was only held on with a few strands of wool, so I cut it off. The hat is great now!

I doubt that, it was a large Yankee, it had only been lit for a couple of minutes, not even a wax pool. I've regularly seen partially used in this chain of charity shops.
I know people who throw candles after 1/2 hour of lighting them, that it such a waste. When it's relit noone knows the difference anyway.
Some people really have more money than brains /common sense.

Meant to add, I didn't want it so I don't care what happened to it once it went to charity. NMP.

I’ll keep my eyes peeled!

because not everyone's kitchen is as big as yours? we have one high food cupboard, one high plates / baking stuff cupboard, one high coffee / glasses cupboard, one low food cupboard and one low saucepan cupboard. cups were limited to the tree. I brought some new shelving to go over the microwave but it's still limited to no more than 9.

I would just snip the bobble off, but then I love a woolly hat.

Does your husband often give you the silent treatment?