Is it OK to charity shop unwanted gifts after a disagreement?

[Coffeeandallthebooks]

DH and I had an argument this morning, and since then he hasn't been speaking to me.

My mum got me a hat with a light on in a gift box. I was planning to donate it on Monday as I never wear hats.

DH bought me a decorative LOTR mug, and a Moomin backpack in burgundy as two of my gifts. I dont like these, I've nowhere to keep the mug and I can't use it to drink from. I already have 2 backpacks and only ever use 1 of them for holidays.

I was just going to keep them but should I donate them? DH is unlikely to notice, our house is chaos with 3 teens, so if he asks after them I'd just say I didn't know where they were.

Is this ungrateful and petty? Or does it make sense to get rid of things you won't use instead of keeping them for the sake of others?

Hi, why are you undecided! Do what feels good for you. 👋

Does your husband know you at all why is everyone buying you gifts you hate i think you need to ask for gift vouchers

It's fine to give unwanted gifts to charity shops. He won't notice that you no longer have a Moomin backpack. Next year tell him you want the money, he sounds hopeless at presents.

I wouldn’t donate the gifts from him yet as you might regret it in a week or two.

It's ok to donate unwanted gifts to charity shops at any time OP.

Just do it!

Yes, I wondered too. I think it must be a miners helmet.
Rather a surplus of these, I suspect, since Margaret Thatcher's days...

Petty and rude

surely you myst be able to squeeze a mug into your house somewhere

as for rucksac stick it in the attic till one of yours gives up

Can't you let your teenage children make use of them instead. But based on what your asking, what exactly was the centre point of the argument, just your Mum's present, or his presents as well?

I think you should tell you husband that you don't like it. Why pretend you do? Just explain what you've said on here, he's an awful gift giver. If you send a link, please buy that exact thing.

Donate to charity in a couple of months when he has forgotten about them.

I always put unwanted birthday or Christmas presents onto eBay as soon as possible after the event and I use any money from the sales to buy (or at least put towards) something I really want. If they don't sell, that's when they go to a charity shop but not before I've at least given it a try.

Why though, when someone else could get great pleasure and use out of it, and a charity would benefit too? I think it would be wasteful to let it gather dust in the attic.

Thank you everyone for replying, I appreciate everything you've all said.

I think I will leave it a while before listing the backpack (sorry Moomin fans!)

But I will probably donate the hat. It's quite feminine but I dont know anyone who would like it. DD is a goth teen and I don't think I'd survive the death stare if I offered it to her 🤣

I’m intrigued to know why you “can’t” use the mug to drink from?

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with donating unwanted gifts, but I would usually leave it a while and do it discreetly. If there’s even a molecule of malice in wanting to do it now, in the wake of this argument, then I think you need to be honest with yourself about that, because it suggests there’s quite a lot of resentment and it’s running a bit deeper than one disagreement.

I can't use the mug to drink out of as it's a thick enamel stack of books in a mug shape, with a metal cup embedded in the middle. The enamel lip is so large your lower lip would struggle to reach the metal cup and form a seal. It also can't be taken out so couldn't be cleaned without cleaning the books and damaging them. I'm sure its designed for display.

That does sound bloody awful to be fair 😂

😂They were seriously food-driven when we first got them and I certainly wouldn't have left them out then, but several years on and they are fine.

I’d stick them on Vinted regardless of an argument or not.

It's a shame you don't think the hat would be useful to you, I think it looks lovely.

BUT if you don't think you'll use the things then definitely relocate (mug to son). Sell (back pack) & donate (hat).

your house is already cluttered, the way to improve it is to declutter (obviously) & ANYTHING you can get out of the house (trash, recycling or donation) is a step forward.

Dana K White (free) YouTube & podcasts, books (library & online) is the way forward for her NO MESS,, progress & only progress, method. She is brilliant & her system really is the way forward. It is ideal for people who are disabled or have low energy as you NEVER make the space worse only better!

What a bizarre post. Why on earth would a hat with a light on be an essential? You sound like one of those nutty preppers.

I just googled the mug and my god the thing is massive, hideous and impractical.
Also who buys a grown woman a moomin backpack? If you have late teens im assuming you are in or pushing your 40’s. Even if you love a Moomin thing it sounds like the kind of thing a child would have.

Huh? Yours is the bizarre post! She doesn’t say it’s essential anywhere only that it might be useful in a range of everyday scenarios!
I walk dogs and collect firewood and have to fiddle with garden furniture in the dark and suffer power cuts as we are rural and I’m certainly no prepper.

Ah what a sad bunch of gifts. I feel bad for you. Why can’t items be returned though? Online doesn’t mean no returns does it?

I’ve managed to cope for 49 years without owning “a hat with a light on” so I’m sure the OP can too. I don’t ever need to do any of the things you’ve mentioned, ever. If there‘s a power cut I own a torch and candles. I don’t require an illuminated hat. I’m not working down a coal mine.

I don’t think I’ve worn an ordinary hat in cold weather since I was a child, either.