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Original poster

Men talk, inappropriate or banter

25 replies

Bluetuesday336 · 29/12/2025 01:33

Been dating someone, we are both divorced and in our 40s with teenage kids. He said that his 18 year old sons GF is ‘pretty fit’ to his mates in ear shot of me. I felt using those words was inappropriate! Why not pretty girl or lovely girl even ew

OP posts:
PeonyPatch · 29/12/2025 01:58

Run.

Makemeanonymous · 29/12/2025 02:42

How young do they have to be before he doesn't see women/ girls as sex objects?
The poor g/f. His poor son.

CalzoneOnLegs · 29/12/2025 04:41

Eeeeew. That’s not good OP. She’s 18 FFS. What are you going to do ?

Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 15:35

CalzoneOnLegs · 29/12/2025 04:41

Eeeeew. That’s not good OP. She’s 18 FFS. What are you going to do ?

I don’t live with him. At this point I have told him those words were not appropriate and I am not fucking happy. I just don’t get how men just seem to think it’s ok to comment on girls and women’s appearance all the time, like have they actually looked in the mirror!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 15:40

Makemeanonymous · 29/12/2025 02:42

How young do they have to be before he doesn't see women/ girls as sex objects?
The poor g/f. His poor son.

Edited

Oh apparently I sexualised it. He thinks it’s gross he didn’t mean it in that way apparently. He had been drinking but that’s no excuse, he should have worded it differently like I said in my original post.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 30/12/2025 15:54

Yes it’s grim and objectifying. Neanderthal behaviour. Presumably he’s modelled that blokey bullshit to his son - how depressing.

Largestlegocollectionever · 30/12/2025 15:58

I’m 45 and not past saying he or she is fit….. but not about an 18 yr old!!!!

Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 15:59

Yes he shouldn't have been commenting on her looks at all.But saying a woman " looks fit" only has one interpretation and that is sexual. As he must very well know.

The fact he is talking to his pals about his son's g/f in this way shows that their usual conversation invlives discussing women in this way. A bunch of neanderthals.

BreakingBroken · 30/12/2025 16:01

Fitness, good bone structure genetically blessed. Pretty common stuff to notice as children grow and mature.
Comments about appearance is no big deal vs rude comments fantasying sex “love to get my hands on that” etc

MightyGoldBear · 30/12/2025 16:01

Eww this is gross. I'd say goodbye to this one.

Platypus7 · 30/12/2025 16:03

Gross.

Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 17:47

Screamingabdabz · 30/12/2025 15:54

Yes it’s grim and objectifying. Neanderthal behaviour. Presumably he’s modelled that blokey bullshit to his son - how depressing.

It is depressing tbh, I’ve seen and heard it all my life.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 17:51

Largestlegocollectionever · 30/12/2025 15:58

I’m 45 and not past saying he or she is fit….. but not about an 18 yr old!!!!

Me too I can appreciate a good looking bloke and say he’s fit or a babe but that would not extend to young people because it’s inappropriate and pervy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 18:01

Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 15:59

Yes he shouldn't have been commenting on her looks at all.But saying a woman " looks fit" only has one interpretation and that is sexual. As he must very well know.

The fact he is talking to his pals about his son's g/f in this way shows that their usual conversation invlives discussing women in this way. A bunch of neanderthals.

Yes pretty much and I am yet to see a bunch but of men who are not like that when they get together tbh and it really does not matter what age they are either! Sadly some
of them go further and think it’s ok to go to strip bars and buy women but that’s another story!

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 30/12/2025 18:02

In his head he too is 18 and is thinking he could be in with a shot. In the pub and look at that 18/19 yr old behind the bar! Donald Trump/Andrew Windsor could tell you more. But you know it anyway

Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 18:14

Pedallleur · 30/12/2025 18:02

In his head he too is 18 and is thinking he could be in with a shot. In the pub and look at that 18/19 yr old behind the bar! Donald Trump/Andrew Windsor could tell you more. But you know it anyway

Pathetic isn’t it. Statistically there is a lot more single older men than women. Maybe the women all turned gay, I wonder why…..

OP posts:
Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 18:14

If all the men you have met talk like that OP you have been mixing with the wrong ones.
There are actually decent men who see women as human beings and manage not to talk about them in this disgusting , objectifying way .
But yes men who talk about women in the way your b/f and his friends do are the very ones who see nothing wrong with goung to strip clubs/ lap dancing clubs to buy women.

Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 18:19

Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 18:14

If all the men you have met talk like that OP you have been mixing with the wrong ones.
There are actually decent men who see women as human beings and manage not to talk about them in this disgusting , objectifying way .
But yes men who talk about women in the way your b/f and his friends do are the very ones who see nothing wrong with goung to strip clubs/ lap dancing clubs to buy women.

Maybe it’s something to do with the age groups of these men, who knows. The wives clearly turn a blind eye to it but I won’t, I’m happy to walk and stay single!

OP posts:
LoveSandbanks · 30/12/2025 18:20

My youngest is 17. I cannot imagine my husband telling his mate that our son had brought home a girlfriend who is “fit”.

i can imagine my husbands mates telling him he’s fucking gross if he did.

ohyesido · 30/12/2025 18:23

sounds like locker room talk rather than predatory, trying to impress his mates. Still gross

Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 18:24

BreakingBroken · 30/12/2025 16:01

Fitness, good bone structure genetically blessed. Pretty common stuff to notice as children grow and mature.
Comments about appearance is no big deal vs rude comments fantasying sex “love to get my hands on that” etc

Well I think calling your son’s teenage gf pretty fit is pervy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 18:29

ohyesido · 30/12/2025 18:23

sounds like locker room talk rather than predatory, trying to impress his mates. Still gross

Yes it definitely was not predatory but it still grossed me out!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 18:30

LoveSandbanks · 30/12/2025 18:20

My youngest is 17. I cannot imagine my husband telling his mate that our son had brought home a girlfriend who is “fit”.

i can imagine my husbands mates telling him he’s fucking gross if he did.

That is how it should be 💯

OP posts:
LorraineChandlericantholdon · 30/12/2025 18:44

Creepy af and I'm male but don't pass comment on teen girls.

Original poster
Bluetuesday336 · 30/12/2025 21:02

LorraineChandlericantholdon · 30/12/2025 18:44

Creepy af and I'm male but don't pass comment on teen girls.

I just found the convo inappropriate and I cringed but I was in a situation with some of his family and friends altogether, otherwise I would have called it out in fact now I wish I just had there and then!

OP posts:
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