Socialising never picked up after covid

[Kaiti45]

Just that really, we’d recently moved to our village when I had my 10 year old and used to socialise and visit/ have friends round most days when she was a baby, stay with family for weekends etc. Have had 2 more children and now with my current one year old we rarely visit or have anyone around

Yes, although she was a baby at the time, yes I do say pop round for a cuppa but just doesn’t seem a thing people want to do these days. I wonder whether it’s because we’ve not really had any money to spend on our house, everything was new 10 years ago but a bit old and worn now. Rarely get invited to other people’s or even relatives houses either though

I get this. The last few times I've invited someone to our house something will happen like on the day I'll get a message saying that the child wants to go somewhere else and can we meet there.

Yes, the few friends I do still meet up with, it’s always out somewhere, or with the very rare play dates arranged at mine, someone is always ill etc so has to be cancelled

Yes I do wonder, the older children are at school
during the week (I work part time) so don’t always have them with me and most of my friends had similar aged children themselves

You think people don't want to pop round because your furnishings are 10 years old?
That's not a reason
.

Have you organised anything over Christmas?

Yes I have a couple of friends I meet up got lunch or dinner with on my own which is really nice. Just the popping over to friends houses for a cuppa just seems to not exist anymore but seem to have plenty to talk about if bump into each other on the school run etc. Feel sad for the kids, when we’ve had a party etc they’ve all had a great time together and I remember the same with play dates when oldest was little

The impression I get from some friends is that they are very house-proud and struggle to meet their standards and so don't have many visitors. I think they decline my invitations as they worry I'll expect one back.

I do wonder, we live in an area where everyone seems to have Pinterest worthy houses as standard

No as just such a manic time of year, I did invite one friend over who was on her own for the day and that was really nice

Yes I do get that anxiety but I don’t decline invitations because of it, I did find it easier when life seemed more relaxed years ago, now everything seems to have to be done with such fanfare, even when did a birthday party for youngest it felt like some people expected there to be more to it

Multiple kids
Cramped housing / fear of embarrassment over where one lives
More people working longer as cost of living is high
Tendency to overschedule activities/classes for children

Was always fairly relaxed in the past and where we lived previously wasn’t palatial but neither was there’s, now friends and family seem to have revamped and don’t seem to do or accept invites, I don’t think it’d just that as even the ones who haven’t have been the same since covid

Maybe not as life is just so much busier with 3, juggling with work etc too but do say to old friends when meet up in the street, mums I chat to at the school, colleagues that live nearby to pop over for a cuppa but they never do, where as people seemed to used to. I think due to life I’ve had to decline invitations on the odd occasion then people never invite you again

Yes. I think many have noticed that, despite some on here trying to argue it’s your perception, lack of initiative, anxiety and what not.
I certainly have noticed as it’s been a huge change for us. It’s sad, especially for dc as you said.

Yes, I feel really sad for my 6 year old especially as he’s really sociable and loves it on the odd occasion we do get a little visitor. My 1 year old is very sociable too and feel sad she’s not getting the opportunities my oldest one had, just even weekends with friends and relatives we used to have etc. Of course they have school, nursery, baby groups etc but it’s not the same. Everyone’s priorities seem to have changed, there’s such a drabness and seriousness to everything now compared to how it used to be

I suspect it’s just because it’s more tricky matching your kids ages. Plus if you only have a baby you might not want to go to a house with a boisterous 6 year old? Just guessing as round here play dates at houses still a big thing (same as pre covid)

I struggle with this too. My own mother was quite insular but we at least had playdates and visits when I was a child. I do think my own DC are missing out.

My mum was a SAHM or part time when we were growing up which I think makes a difference. I suspect a lot of people who feel that their time off with their children is limited feel like they have to prioritise them and do what their kids want. My mum seemed to make plans to have say a tea with friends and I was just expected to come along and play with their kids. If I'd have said, well actually I want us to go to an expensive indoor play instead, it would not have been seriously considered.