Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What will happen if this were to happen

98 replies

HardyBird · 26/12/2025 17:02

I'm not well, been told by Dr to phone ambulance go straight to hospital after he called me with my test results which was rushed through straight away.Ilm a single parent with no friends or family.I obviously didn't go it was my son's play the next day and had to get Xmas food and some presents as left to last minute due to my health problems.Does anyone know what would happen to my children if I have to stay at hospital which I think is inevitable as I feel myself getting worse?Someone please answer my post!

OP posts:
Dontlletmedownbruce · 29/12/2025 14:14

Christ I hope she is OK today. This thread upset me. No woman should feel so alone and unsupported.

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 15:34

lastminutepicks · 29/12/2025 08:45

OP is not judging the situation correctly here, she is just trying to prevent outside agencies from being involved. A disabled 14 year old should absolutely not be supervising another disabled child who is at high risk of having seizures, not even in the hospital.

Show quote history

🙄🙄

oh FGS. the idea here is to HELP the OP, not point out the bloody obvious which helps no one. Having an adult keep an eye on the both is the aim. Sorry you need that spoon feeding to you.

lastminutepicks · 29/12/2025 17:15

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 15:34

🙄🙄

oh FGS. the idea here is to HELP the OP, not point out the bloody obvious which helps no one. Having an adult keep an eye on the both is the aim. Sorry you need that spoon feeding to you.

Show quote history

Look at my posts, look at the OP posts and come back and tell me who needs bloody spoon feeding.

Boxiboxi21 · 29/12/2025 17:22

I'm disturbed by the OP's posts. She writes just like my own mum, who refused to go into hospital until it was too late and died earlier this year. I'm finding it very hard to come to terms with.

LIZS · 29/12/2025 17:26

HardyBird · 26/12/2025 17:33

I'm just going to say I have my reasons why I won't put them in foster care or with social services, been there done that,don't want to go into details but it was awful,not even for a second never mind a few days.

You may have no choice if it becomes a crisis situation. If you are a falls risk then you do need a back up plan and the dc need to know how to call for help. You could book a nanny/babysitter so they get used them over time in case you have an emergency, if you have no other trusted adults or neighbours,

StealthMama · 29/12/2025 17:29

OP do you have a learning disability?

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 29/12/2025 17:49

StealthMama · 29/12/2025 17:29

OP do you have a learning disability?

Quite rude.

StealthMama · 29/12/2025 17:58

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 29/12/2025 17:49

Quite rude.

Show quote history

Not really. She has two ASD children and is struggling to make safeguarding plans for those children in order to seek urgent healthcare. Quite typical of someone who also has ASD or associated learning disability and may contribute to previous agency involvement.

OP you’re not helping yourself here and as a result you are not helping your children. If you can’t make plans yourself, be aware that in the end it will be done for you whether you like it or not.

You have contacts from before and with the teams that will be supporting your children. Use them.

Itsmetheflamingo · 29/12/2025 17:59

PollyDarton1 · 26/12/2025 17:10

They would speak to the LA and provide temporary foster care. This nearly happened to me when I had sepsis and my piece of shit ex H said whatever happens on my watch is my responsibility. My mum was unwell herself and my brother was in another part of the country. The doctors were horrified as ex only lived down the road and could have had my DS the two nights I was expected to remain. In the end my brother had to drive through the night and pick DS up so he didnt go into temporary care but it was touch and go at one point.

(ETA my ex is an abusive piece of crap and this was a way of controlling and upsetting me)

Jesus H Christ 😭

Skybluepinky · 29/12/2025 18:48

SS would get involved and they would be put into care until you were proved to be fit to look after them.

WinterWooliesBaa · 29/12/2025 22:16

lastminutepicks · 29/12/2025 17:15

Look at my posts, look at the OP posts and come back and tell me who needs bloody spoon feeding.

Show quote history

You
HTH

PurpleLovecats · 29/12/2025 22:22

OP I hope all is ok, are you able to update?

@HardyBird

BagBitch · 29/12/2025 22:39

OP risks making what could be very temporary foster care arrangement into something more lengthy when they discover that she has delayed this process and not appearing to make the best decisions that will impact the child needs.

Original poster
HardyBird · 30/12/2025 04:27

No I don't have a disability,thanks for that just make me feel more sh**Ty than I already do.I love my kids,god knows I'm awake most nights with son who hardly sleeps,won't go to school if awake so he only goes when he is sleeping which means I dress him and carry him to the taxi most days,he hits me and smashes my house up during melt downs which is why I can't even pay anyone to take him.I used to be called upwhen he was nursery age to go pick him up within half an hour most days so I ended up not taking him ,what for half an hour. Pediatrician said he has the worst sleep deprivation she has ever heard of and have tried everything waiting on funding for a safe space bed.I don't have a support network,I never have unfortunately.People just always treat me as if I'm not there,I've had all confidence knocked out of me years ago I feel uncomfortable making first move with things like that I get blown out and ignored which is embarrassing.Thanks for all the replys, I didn't think I would get any.Fingers crossed for today.Cant ask neighbour just not long ago moved into a new house so I don't know anyone yet and I get the feeling they don't like me much,I think it's a class thing,they have nice cars and money I don't.Cant think of any other reason as they have never spoken to me.

OP posts:
Puskiesauce · 30/12/2025 04:39

Have you still not been to hospital, 4 days after you were told to go straight there?!

Original poster
HardyBird · 30/12/2025 04:46

No,I have a appointment at radiology today,not been to have my bloods done yet either as son wouldn't go to school so had to cancel as I couldn't take him with me as he plays up so much.My whole legs and feet have swollen to and are purple so sore can barely walk,the Dr said get a walking stick,at my age no way.

OP posts:
Puskiesauce · 30/12/2025 05:31

I don't think you're hearing how important the hospital visit is. You're already experiencing worsening effects.

If you keep putting it off a walking stick will be the least of your worries.

Silverbirchleaf · 30/12/2025 05:49

@HardyBird

”My whole legs and feet have swollen to and are purple so sore can barely walk,”

This is not a good sign. You need to go to an and e., especially if this is a new onset symptom. Your body’s telling you you need help. Listen to it.

Magpie50 · 30/12/2025 06:12

No offense OP but can your kids phone for an ambulance or contact authorities when they can't wake you up?, coz it sounds like that's where you are heading.

(I'm really hoping this is a troll thread.....in fact fingers crossed for all involved that it's made up!).

stolenpromises · 30/12/2025 06:30

You have options OP but aren’t open to any of them. What do you expect your children to do if they find you unconscious or worse dead.

You need to get well. You need help and there is help available. Stop burying your head in the sand.

miniworry · 30/12/2025 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HappyFace2025 · 30/12/2025 08:34

Magpie50 · 30/12/2025 06:12

No offense OP but can your kids phone for an ambulance or contact authorities when they can't wake you up?, coz it sounds like that's where you are heading.

(I'm really hoping this is a troll thread.....in fact fingers crossed for all involved that it's made up!).

Also there is no school just now, is there?

cheeseomelette · 30/12/2025 08:51

I had to deal with a work colleague in a very similar situation. We went to her house as we were so concerned, called an ambulance, she later cancelled it.

We had to involve next of kin, even though they were estranged. they were relieved to be called, intervened and took her to hospital themselves. She lasted a week.

if we had not gone round when we did, her children would have found her one morning and had to deal with that.
one of the things in my entire career I am most glad I did is intervening beyond my right to do so.

please do not do this to your children. Do not let them have to find you.

HollyhockDays · 30/12/2025 08:54

You need to involve some sort of social service help. It sounds like you’ve had a poor experience with that before but you could try to rebuild that trust. Can you explain to the GP?

If your children found you collapsed what would happen? An emergency referral could be more distressing for them.

SomethingRattling · 30/12/2025 09:03

OP someone else needs to be involved or you could all be at serious risk. Ring for an ambulance and explain that your children will need emergency care if you are kept in. The operator will help you sort it out. Good luck.