Bit niche, but anyone want to join a support thread for those of us hosting an adult child's partner who they can't fucking stand?

[BoobsOnTheChristmasTree]

I'm already on my last fucking nerve with DD(23)'s boyfriend. They've been together 2 years, I said he could come for Christmas despite misgivings because I thought I was just being uncharitable about him but nope he really is fucking infuriating and rude and arrogant.

Doesn't like our house (which yes, is old and a bit tumbledown and quirky) and makes no attempt to hide it, with snidey PA digs at every opportunity.

Apparently doesn't know the words please and thank you.

Turns up empty handed.

Doesn't like the bed or pillows.

Doesn't like vegetarian food and keeps dropping hints about it not being Christmas dinner without meat. Fuck off back to mummy's for some turkey then? Please?

But my DD matters more to me than having a go at him. She's had a terrible year for various reasons and tbf to him he has stuck around. He's young, he might grow up and change, or more hopefully she might ditch him (tbf I think she's already well on the way). I just need somewhere to vent so I can keep a smile on my face for the next few days!

Or if it’s a snide remark or joke look confused and say loudly and innocently “sorry what do you mean?”

This really made me laugh! A builder standing over your cooking in case you need help, LMAO! I mean, I'm sure he's a great cook, but the babysitting would only make some kind of sense if he was a professional chef at a great restaurant!

What are PA digs?

I had exactly the same attitude in a similar-yet-different situation. My late father's partner was very, very difficult to be around. She would dominate every conversation with hour-long monologues that were absolute drivel, and unfortunately she also sounded like a worse version of Janet Street Porter. When we watched TV, she spoke every time someone onscreen spoke. It was relentless. She was also quite rude. However, my dad had cancer for the last two years of his life, and I'd be damned if I was going to stay away because his partner was so difficult. I spent every bit as much time with him as I'd have done if she wasn't around, and soaked him up as long as I could. Sometimes I just had to leave the room for a bit before I screamed, the unrelenting noise she made was so stressful, and sometimes when she'd go home after a weekend with us, the silence was deafening. But it was all worth it to see my dad.

I have no idea how people can take such long showers in other people's houses. How big do they think the water tank IS? I had a friend to stay once and her showers were twenty minutes when she wasn't washing her hair and forty minutes if she was. Not much water left for exH and I!

I think passive-aggressive digs.

People use too many acronyms. I've had to look up DT and FMS today on here. I can't be bothered to write out what they are.

Why did I not find you sooner … I’m laid in bed dreading the appearance of DS gf of 4 years .. we do get on ok most of the time but I could have slapped her yesterday when she whinged about how cold it was , how hot it was , how the telly was crap , how she didn’t have the right batteries for her present.. how DS woke her up too early , how my cat sat on her coat and now it’s got hair on it , how she prefers her roasties in duck fat rather than goose fat how the gravy was a bit thick and finally when she opened a packet of shortbread biscuits , ate 1 then just left them on the side and the dog demolished the lot . Crumbs and bits everywhere . Asked her if she wanted to take a walk down to look at all the beautiful village lights and decorations and her reply was “ god no , it’ll take me forever to warm back up in here “ while she’s lay on my bloody recliner in shorts and a crop top stupid thingy .
Small doses… is fine .. roll on Sunday PM when they go home 😂

And if she complains one more time about my Aldi tea bags , I’m going to strangle her .

Can you suggest they pop to the shops today and get some teabags she would prefer?

Not hosting but spending time with nieces boyfriend who is insufferable but passable because he is somewhat funny.

It is extremely FRUSTRATING that such a bright, happy cheerful soul loves to the bones someone who is the epitome of a man child who does not lift a finger at all ever at home or anywhere else. She does EVERYTHING in their home while he sits around intolerant of any noise, mess, dust, change in routine or even to deal with his own family problems.
No kids yet but when they do, she will single handly do EVERYTHING with children.
She genuinely does not see any problem with any of it. Seems satisfied to be the little housewife doormat. (While working 3 jobs)

Can I join? I have BILs gf coming today and I also can’t fucking stand her.

Two relationships where I really liked the partner have broken down in the last few weeks and we’re still stuck with this arsehole who simultaneously manages to be a fun sponge but also dominate the room.

Just joining for some solidarity, have to endure my SIL’s partner today - grade A asshole and man-baby. There will undoubtedly be dramas, so will report back…..

Have you set up a bingo game to play? DH and I have one ready to go - see if you can tick off all the annoying things she does in one afternoon? First person to get them all wins

He is leaving today 😁

I have been So Very Nice.

Nearly lost my cool last night when he started complaining about our internet - would you believe, the internet in a 500 year old farmhouse in the deep dark countryside, still served by copper cable because the idea of fibre round here is laughable, isn't as fast as it is in central London? He told me, with a straight face, that if he lived here he would "start by sorting out the internet". I told him it isn't that simple and outlined the situation with the copper cable etc to which he said "well in that case I'd just get starlink". Told him we aren't all in a financial position to "just get starlink" at which he did have the grace to say he hasn't actually looked into the cost! Cheeky wee gobshite. Hopefully our terrible internet puts him off future visits.

Is DD going with him OP? At least you got through the day relatively unscathed. My 'DIL' wasn't as bad as she could have been yesterday, but still sat on her arse as expected and did her performance parenting right in the middle of dinner which everyone ignored 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have one more day to go 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤣🤣🤣