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Original poster

Would you expect to meet the GF's parents..?.

76 replies

Flowerslamp · 22/12/2025 18:07

DS is about to move away to live with his GF.

I know her reasonably well, although he she now lives where he's going to, so I don't seen her that often currently.

They've been together more than 2 years, she's stayed at my house many times. DS goes to her parents' often.

Her parents live very close to me. I've never met them.

I can't say that I really "want" to meet them. I try to step back and let DC manage their relationships, but I wonder if I "should", especially now they're going to be living together.

I know my parents were very keen to meet DH's parents as soon as things looked serious between us, but different times...and I can't say that it was hugely successful!

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 24/12/2025 13:28

The first time my in-laws and parents met were at my university graduation - and that was only because I graduated with his sister my then boyfriend and I hosted a little party at our flat. We had separate graduation dinners and such the rest of the weekend. They didn’t spend any real time together until years later when we got married.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/12/2025 13:32

just suggest dinner the 6 of you to celebrate the moving in together?

Littletreefrog · 24/12/2025 13:33

My parents and in-laws only met at our wedding, although there is a 2 hour drive between them.

We haven't met DSs GFs parents yet despite living a 10 minute walk away, they have been together 2.5years but are still only 18/19. I imagine we will only meet them when there is some sort of event for us to meet them at i.e graduation or maybe even engagement or baby. I think it would be odd to engineer a meeting just for the sake of it.

Rocknrollstar · 24/12/2025 15:56

When DS moved in with girlfriend I asked if we should meet her parents and he said no. A week later he said that her parents had been wanting to meet us for ages! The children married and we became best friends with the parents.

BillieWiper · 24/12/2025 16:00

If you were both that type of family who's very sociable then it would have happened organically by now. She may not be especially close to her parents. Not everyone is in adulthood. Plenty of young adults parents live in another country or might have died.

As you say, you're not crazy about the idea anyway. If they do marry or have kids I'm sure you'll meet them eventually, even if just to politely say hello and not much else. They certainly don't need to be your new best friends.

justasking111 · 24/12/2025 16:00

Met them the first time at graduation. We all had a meal together after the grad ceremony.

Mumofteenandtween · 24/12/2025 16:07

My parents met dh’s parents before we were a couple. (Played sport for the same team and both came to watch.)

My parents have never met my brother’s partner’s parents. They have been together nearly 20 years, have lived together for 15 years and have a primary school age child. (All 3 live far apart, not married, no baptism for the baby, her parents had caring responsibilities and now have health issues.)

Does that cover both extremes? 😂

Dollymylove · 24/12/2025 16:23

Is the relationship serious?
It wouldn't hurt to meet them, would it?

Glittertwins · 24/12/2025 16:26

I think my parents met DH’s maybe once or twice before our wedding and possibly once after few years later. I’m not surprised, they’re like chalk and cheese and I never liked his dad anyway so were never going to be one big happy family!

Justbecauseyoucandoesntmeanyoushould · 24/12/2025 16:40

My DC lives in another country. Their partner's parents came to meet me the first time I visited after DC moved there, which I thought was lovely of them. I've met them again since - they're wonderful, kind people and I really appreciate the effort they make to visit when I'm there.

AgnesMcDoo · 24/12/2025 17:08

My parents and in-laws met at our wedding.

ThePoshUns · 24/12/2025 17:15

My son is 25, been with his GF over 2 years, about to move in together. I’ve met her parents twice, they are lovely people.

Nucleus · 24/12/2025 17:51

Another one where the families only met at the wedding. Husband and I are from very different backgrounds. My dad was an obnoxious snob who was a stickler for his version of etiquette and revelled in making others uncomfortable if they didn't know his rules. I wasn't inflicting that on them any earlier than necessary!

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 24/12/2025 17:57

I think if they are getting married then yes. Anything else then no need.

HolidayPlanningAgain · 24/12/2025 18:24

Been married 4 years and they’ve not met!
They wouldn’t get on so there’s no point having to endure that.

Diddlyumptious · 24/12/2025 21:11

My DS lives with GF of 8 years, never met her parents and no need to, though they don't live locally.

IceIceSlippyIce · 24/12/2025 21:18

My parents met DHs parents for dinner after we got engaged. Met again at the wedding, and haven't seen each other in the 20 years since. They live 150 miles apart (and we don't live near either set).

I've met DSs girlfriends parents as the kids are 16, and they live round the corner!

Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair · 24/12/2025 21:25

Yes and no I guess, it depends on the need and if there's any benefit. My parents are great socially and enjoy making new friends. My mum has found a good friend in MIL and they meet up a lot since FIL passed away.

I've met my DD's DP's parents as she stays at theirs a lot so it's nice to know who she's around and thanks then for accommodating her.

I've even met Ex DP's new in-laws! However, we do live in a small town so we do come across each other a lot and exDps Fil has a motor trade business like DP so they have helped each other work wise.

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 24/12/2025 22:45

I never met my exes mum and met his dad twice ... I was with him for 13 years.

ActuallyCannotBelieveIt · 24/12/2025 22:49

Ooh I dunno, I'd probably want to meet my children's future in-laws, but I'd probably not say that outloud and just let it happen naturally

My sisters fil goes on holiday with our dad, we've all had Christmases together and days out ect, I think it's nice

AnnaMagnani · 24/12/2025 22:58

Dollymylove · 24/12/2025 16:23

Is the relationship serious?
It wouldn't hurt to meet them, would it?

My DM mets ILs for the first time at our wedding.

They were incredibly rude and my DM has hated them ever since. FIL had the excuse of undiagnosed dementia but MIL definitely did not.

It's not worth it.

cupfinalchaos · 24/12/2025 23:03

No. If you have friends in common and meet that way that’s one thing. Having said that, after 3 years DD’s boyfriend’s mum let it be known through a mutual acquaintance that she was upset she hadn’t met me! We’re now friends with them and speak regularly.

Okiedokie123 · 24/12/2025 23:13

They haven’t met you either….. you might be awful! Or they might be?
Either way it’s not something I’d fuss about tbh.
My parents didn’t get on with my in laws at all and they thought my parents were weird but as they only met the day we got married….. it wasn’t as issue.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 24/12/2025 23:40

Christ no.

I'm a bit of a special case, as me and DP had a baby 11 months into our relationship that we didn't know was coming until she went into labour, so it was kind of all hand on deck for a little while.

But my Mum didn't meet my SILs parents until shortly before the wedding, and the same goes for most of my friends as well.

catlover123456789 · 25/12/2025 01:53

My partner and I have been together over 15 years and our parents have not met. I wouldn't worry about it.