Just a short rant about my BIL who "doesn't do Christmas" because he's far too cool and pagan

[ImaginaryHorse]

Christmas being sooooo tacky and shit and over commercialised doncha know.

He and his DC have their Christmas on solstice instead. And ohhhhh boy don't we all know about it. If you say "merry christmas" to his DC (8, 10, and 11) they tell you "we don't do shitmas" (yep, in those words). BIL loves to lecture us on how shit and commercial christmas is and how he thinks solstice is so much more important blah blah blah.

I'm not averse to solstice celebration tbh and we usually get out for a sunrise walk (didn't bother this year as was so grey and gloomy at 7am) and then have a little fire in the evening to mark the day. The sun returning feels special to me and I love to think of the days getting longer again.

But BIL has basically just shifted all the stuff he claims to despise about Christmas to solstice instead. His DC get piles of gifts and spend months talking about what they want and asking for specific ££ things "for solstice". They also kick off if they don't get exactly what they asked for or if they think one of their siblings has more then them, or for something they've decided they wanted. Obviously this isn't the DC fault, it's BIL's doing (he's the resident parent, ex SIL has the DC every other weekend and half holidays). But then afterwards they still descend on MIL for Christmas day and eat dinner and get more presents, all the while telling everyone how shit they think Christmas is. We just don't go over there on Christmas day any more because me and DP both find it so unbearable!!

I don't really care if people do or don't celebrate, or what they celebrate or how they celebrate, but the unbearable smugness combined with the absolute rubbishing of Christmas just grates my cheese. I keep wanting to say to BIL "well you might think Christmas is shit but at least my kids know what we are celebrating and why, and don't throw a tantrum if they don't get everything on their list, so NERRRRRRR". But I obviously won't because I'm not a dick. I'll just rant here instead.

Sounds hilarious. Like a sitcom family.

Shitmas. What a nob.

It's fucking infuriating, trust me!

Funny BIL could have the exact same rant about Christmas that you’ve had about Solstice. Sounds like you two are both very religiously intolerant.

Wasn’t there an episode of Seinfeld where George’s dad tried something like this?

I don’t get why he would come to Xmas lunch if he’s already had his celebration and he thinks Xmas is shit. I’d be avoiding them completely.

Where did I say I was religious?

You don’t have to be religious to be religiously intolerant.
You only have to be intolerant of others religion(s).

Festivus! For the rest of us.

But it sounds like if BIL or any of the OP’s niblings said anything like ‘Happy Solstice’, OP would just agree and say it back.

Whereas that doesn’t go the other way at all. So there only seems to be one-way intolerance.

Where did the OP rant about the Solstice? I could only see her ranting about the BIL’s behaviour and attitude. She even said she enjoys the Solstice herself and often goes out for a sunrise walk on it.

Um, ok. I guess comprehension isn't your strong point then.

No it doesn’t. It sounds like he’s a proper knob.

OP id be steering clear at Shitmas too, the poor kids having a dad like that and the cheek to rock up on Xmas day. Talk about condescending.

.. like him saying Shitmas?

If he is a pagan or whatever, then ok, yes, we can recognise that his celebration is different but he just sounds insufferable and is raising children to be the same. Smug and hypocritical is how it is coming across.

Yes he sounds like a dick. He could be on motherland. That would make a good story line.

Rich coming from the poster who thinks being religious is a requirement to be religiously intolerant.

Well yes. I said sounds like BIL could be having the same rant about Christmas that OP has just had about Solstice.

It's ridiculous that all the things he claims to despise about Christmas, he then does at Solstice. He seems a hypercritical tit and has brought his children up to be rather rude .

This is kind of smug too:
”my BIL who "doesn't do Christmas" because he's far too cool and pagan”
”he thinks solstice is so much more important blah blah blah.”
”at least my kids know what we are celebrating and why, and don't throw a tantrum if they don't get everything on their list, so NERRRRRRR".”

He is obviously very speshul. I'm not surprised you're irritated by him, he sounds like a prize tool.

Your BIL is creating monsters!

He sounds incredibly cool and edgy. I hope he posts all about it on socials?! His poor DC

You need to tell him solstice is far too mainstream, he needs to celebrate something scandi perhaps - Sinterklaas? Sankta Lucia? Something he can really make his own.

How could you get from her post that she's religiously intolerant?

She literally said she does celebrate the solstice and often goes for a sunrise walk. Whereas her BIL refers to Christmas as shitmas and hypocritically buys his kids tons of presents for the solstice while moaning about the consumerism of Christmas. Can you not see the difference?

What does it matter to you, though? They’re not your kids so it doesn’t matter what day they celebrate or whether they kick off when they don’t get their list of gifts. The kids being spoilt doesn’t have anything to do with what day they receive their presents or for what occasion. It would be the same if it was Christmas, Eid, Chanukah, Diwali or anything else.

I’m neither a Christian nor a pagan, but Solstice feels more meaningful to me as a concept than the birth of Jesus. I celebrate on 25 December because it’s a public holiday and it’s when everyone else is around, but I’d be just as happy otherwise to celebrate on Solstice and pretty much all the ‘Christmas’ stuff I do is basically the pre-Christian midwinter stuff that we still attach to Christmas for convenience.

Festivus!

We celebrate Buddha Day earlier in December and Yule rather than Christmas, but we definitely don’t go on about it or get mountains of presents for anyone (not really in the spirit, is it?). We bake goodies, spend some time in nature and light a few candles. He sounds insufferable.

Paganism isn’t even edgy and cool these days; it’s gone mainstream again. There was even an article in The Telegraph about the rise in paganism today.

Oh yes, she tolerates celebrating the solstice in the exact same way she does as a simple sunrise walk unless the weathers a bit off with a fire in the evening and it has to be less important than Christmas and god forbid you give presents on the solstice.

They are as bad as each other. Her and BIL. Him with the smug shitmas and her with the smug frugal solstice