Am I wrong to ask DH not to give DS the present he has brought him.

[BoxOfFredoFrogs]

DS is 12 and has never been interested in gaming but will play a bit at friends’ houses. He has never had his own device nor asked for one. On his Christmas list this year he asked for a stunt scooter as his big present.

DH has brought DS at PlayStation 5. It’s so random as DH never buys gifts for any of the kids but has this time and it’s one I never want DS to have.

I have seen so many teen boys get addicted to gaming and become less social, less happy and less fit as a result. I honestly see no bright sides to gaming.

On top of that our other kids do not have a big expensive presents so this gift misbalances everything.

I have asked DH to return the PS and he is refusing saying DS will get bullied if he’s the one boy one doesn’t game. I do not think that is true at all. DS has lots of friends and doesn’t seem to feel peer pressure to game. Him and his friends mainly play football after school or skateboard and I’m happy they are active and outside. I see zero sign he needs a PS to fit in.

really weird thing for him to do for multiple reasons. Ask him how he's going to explain it when the other kids ask why their brother had ££££ more spent on him than they did?

@ADHDdiagnosis it would be a complete different scenario if the DS had asked for the playstation and OP was the one refusing it - you're right that one parent shouldn't be able to automaticly override the other (although if they do it should be the parent that puts the effort in to buy every single other present!). But that's not the case here - buying a present he hasn't even asked for is bizarre. Plus even then the unfairness of hugely overspending on 1 child would still be an issue.

I think yabu. You’d rather he have a stunt scooter which has a high injury and fatality rate amongst teens than a PS5 which hasn’t killed anyone and he can explore educational and problem solving games, enriching his life beyond roaming the streets and football.

buying a present he hasn't even asked for is bizarre

So you think it is bizarre to buy a present that’s a surprise? So you what exchange lists and tell everyone who is getting what gift?

Maybe he got bullied or put down because for not being into this stuff (though he’s a little old for it to have been a thing when he was young really)…

His son didn’t ask for it maybe? Maybe read the op again.

It’s his son too. I don’t think a 12 year old is in mortal danger of becoming depressed and obese just because his father buys him a PlayStation unless there are other enormous concerns you aren’t mentioning and think you may be overreacting slightly. DS will love it.

They are very dangerous
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/reported-road-casualties-great-britain-e-scooter-factsheet-2023/reported-road-casualties-great-britain-e-scooter-factsheet-2023

https://www.pacts.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/E-scooter-casualty-data-for-the-UK-fatalities.pdf

So what if he didn’t ask for it.

Agree with the family present idea

Gift it to ALL the kids from you and DH. Keep it in a communal room for you ALL to play a few fun games together.

We do this and love playing Mario Kart together. Ours is a Nintendo Switch though.

Those are e scooter...ds wants a stunt scooter.

It’s a personal thing. I’m not a gamer. Why would someone spend a few hundred buying me one? Be a bit stupid wouldn’t it?

Stunt scooters aren't the same thing. They are the type of scooter they take to the skate park to do tricks, they don't go on the road.

My ds is similar to yours, however does have an Xbox. Its great for the winter. He is only allowed out until 4.30pm (or 4 depending on when it gets dark) so it gives him chance to play with friends online after. It has not stopped him playing out. He has been to the skate park and played football today before it got too dark.

But I do think it should be a family gift.

I think you're mixing up stunt scooters with e-scooters. They're completely different things, the same way a mountain bike and a motorbike are different things.

I don't think there's a high fatality rate with stunt scooters, where are you getting that info?
That said, I do know a few people who got nasty injuries/broken bones using them. Skate parks are not for the faint-hearted!
My DCs loved their PS4 (shared in a family room) and socialised a lot with friends on it. They still manage to go out rather a lot, so I don't think it always ends in loss of fitness and addiction.

This.

Someone (colleagues maybe) has probably been talking to him about their sons' gaming, expecting to bond over a bit of "what are they like hey" affectionate complaining, and been surprised when he said his twelve year old boy doesn't game and suggested that all twelve year old boys do.

However buying just one child a very expensive present he hasn't asked for but not that child's siblings is very odd, unless the siblings are a decade older or younger than the twelve year old.

Is he your only boy, or is there a very big age gap?

Sounds like your H bought it off the back of a lorry and so can't give it back. Or bought it off a friend to do him a favour.

They ride them to the skate park along the roads. Many teens practice jumps and wheelies on the way. I’ve never once seen a teen walk their scooter to a skate park.

Yes but you're linking stats for e scooters which are not powered by foot and so go much faster and are ridden in the road, not along side it - and so are much more dangerous.

Honestly, just accept you're wrong.

Sorry had to run and do dinner.

We have three other kids, all girls, all older than DS. It won’t work as a family present as they won’t be interested.

I don’t think DS has told DH something he hasn’t told me. DH would tell me and if it was confirmation he needed a play station to fit in then I would allow him a PS. I’m not a monster. I just don’t see it. DS really has a lot of friends, he is on football, rugby and athletics teams and he’s really never bored or at a loss for what to do.

I have brought him the stunt scooter yes. I think the stats quoted earlier are about injuries with electronic scooters. Obviously he might get injured but hopefully not.

Yes, but the links you provided are still for e-scooters

I would suggest he takes it back and gets a switch. Its a fun console for multiple people at once . And easy to use. Lots of exercise based games and fun games like Mario kart which are more suited to people who dont use consoles .
Plus he could say its a gift for all kids .
If he really wants to get a games console.

What is he getting for the three girls to balance it out? It's going to be very hurtful for them that their brother has got two big expensive presents! Talk about creating a golden child.

Is DS your DH’s son? If so, I don’t think you can ban him from giving a present to his own son.

Perhaps point out the potential unfairness / gift disparity with the other children.