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Original poster

Am I wrong to ask DH not to give DS the present he has brought him.

65 replies

BoxOfFredoFrogs · 21/12/2025 19:16

DS is 12 and has never been interested in gaming but will play a bit at friends’ houses. He has never had his own device nor asked for one. On his Christmas list this year he asked for a stunt scooter as his big present.

DH has brought DS at PlayStation 5. It’s so random as DH never buys gifts for any of the kids but has this time and it’s one I never want DS to have.

I have seen so many teen boys get addicted to gaming and become less social, less happy and less fit as a result. I honestly see no bright sides to gaming.

On top of that our other kids do not have a big expensive presents so this gift misbalances everything.

I have asked DH to return the PS and he is refusing saying DS will get bullied if he’s the one boy one doesn’t game. I do not think that is true at all. DS has lots of friends and doesn’t seem to feel peer pressure to game. Him and his friends mainly play football after school or skateboard and I’m happy they are active and outside. I see zero sign he needs a PS to fit in.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 21/12/2025 19:18

Tell him to keep it for himself, that’s probably what he bought it for anyway.

ForFunGoose · 21/12/2025 19:18

I agree with you, don’t back down.

Burgerqueenbee · 21/12/2025 19:19

Is it actually your DH that wants a PS5 perhaps?

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RoamingToaster · 21/12/2025 19:21

Agree with others that it’s likely he bought it for himself. I also agree that gaming isn’t something to be encouraged.

Freeme31 · 21/12/2025 19:21

I agree with your husband and it’s lovely he wants your son to have a gift he might have also got it as its something they can bond over together

RitaandtheTiarasgonewiththewind · 21/12/2025 19:23

First thought was if ds doesn't use much DH will.
As that's the reason for purchase.

Original poster
BoxOfFredoFrogs · 21/12/2025 19:24

The oddest thing is DH does not game, never has and is not interested in it. Genuinely I can promise he will never play it with DS. He will not have got this so he can play it. DH is a 52 year old academic who has never played a computer game in his life. It’s such an odd choice of gift all round.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 21/12/2025 19:26

So tell him he needs to buy presents for the other kids to balance it out. Why shouldn’t he get to chose a present he thinks his son will like and sounds like he will enjoy it?

OriginalUsername2 · 21/12/2025 19:35

He should at least wait until it’s actually something he wants. Boys do end up socialising through gaming but if you’ve got him this far without one and he’s an outdoor type, it seems a shame to ruin that prematurely.

Maybe you can convince him to hold off until next year or pop it up in the loft for a future birthday.

ADHDdiagnosis · 21/12/2025 19:36

I am on your husband’s side 100 percent. Why shouldn’t he buy what he wants for his son?

I can’t help thinking about this as if it was in reverse. A husband saying mum should not give a gift of her choosing to her child?

Maybe my view is also different because I have no problem with gaming. I have 3 sons and have bought them all a PS5 each over the last few years.

Clefable · 21/12/2025 19:37

Wouldn’t care about the console (but we are a gaming household and already have them all) but it’s weird to get such a big gift out of the blue for one child and presumably not the others. Can’t it just be a ‘family’ PS5?

tripleginandtonic · 21/12/2025 19:38

Ysbu and he's right. You csn game and still do other stuff. My ds did, played football etc

TwoBlueFish · 21/12/2025 19:38

Can you not have it as a joint family present and get a couple of family games.

sesquipedalian · 21/12/2025 19:40

“he asked for a stunt scooter as his big present.”

So that's what he should get. If your DH is hell-bent on giving him a PS5, then have it as a “family” present and get your DS the scooter he wants.

BestZebbie · 21/12/2025 19:42

Also, has he checked which console his friends (these friends who will bully him if he can't join in) actually have themselves? No point getting DS a Playstation if they all game on the XBox!

HelpMySocksAreTouchingMe · 21/12/2025 19:42

Joint present seems to be a good idea, how many children do you have and how old are they?

NCReceptor · 21/12/2025 19:44

Teen boys do end up doing a lot of socialising through gaming. Is there a chance that your son has quietly talked with his dad about feeling different to his friends or isolated from them?

sittingonabeach · 21/12/2025 19:44

Why has he never bought any presents before @BoxOfFredoFrogs

Sirzy · 21/12/2025 19:45

How old are the other children? Could it not be a family present?

titchy · 21/12/2025 19:46

Please tell me you’ve also bought the scooter?

Point out that his friends have XBoxes he won’t be joining in with them and it’ll remain in its box. Does your dh have any evidence he’ll be bullied? Could your dh be aware of something you’re not?

AutumnLover1989 · 21/12/2025 19:49

Why doesn't he give the gift as a whole family present?

junebirthdaygirl · 21/12/2025 19:51

Having it as a family gift could be an issue as your other children may love it more than your eldest depending on personality. You have managed to keep your ds until 12 without gaming it would be great to give the other children that same childhood.
I understand where your dh is coming from as he is being protective of ds as he moves into teen years but l would encourage him to keep it for another while since he has no interest...maybe for his 13th birthday. Every month without gaming is a victory.
I thing fathers do worry about their sons being left out if they dont follow the pack and being an academic himself he may have experienced some of that.

RawBloomers · 21/12/2025 19:57

I'm with you to some extent (though plenty of kids with access to gaming platforms don't become addicted) however from what you say this is unusual for DH. He feels strongly about it and that may be based on things he knows about your DS or about what life in school is like for boys compared to girls, based on his own experiences. Could, for instance, DS have voiced things to DH that he doesn't voice to you?

In any case, given DH feels strongly about it too, I don't think you should put your foot down as though you must be right, but sit down and talk about it, about what might be going on in DS's life, about the way you each see the pressures and challenges he experiences and the imbalance with the other DCs' presents and come to a more mutual decision about the PS 5.

Pineapplewaves · 21/12/2025 20:01

How old are your other DC? Has your DH got the other DC a gift of equal value each? If not, why has DS been chosen as the recipient?

It should really be a shared gift for all the family if the other DC aren’t getting anything.

RightOnTheEdge · 21/12/2025 20:12

I think it's totally wrong of him to buy one child such a big expensive gift and not the other children.