Had this with a neighbour a few months ago; invited her over for supper and it was pleasant enough. Before leaving, she absolutely insisted on doing the washing up although I asked her several times not to, and explained that I find it easier to handle on my own as I have a system. Despite this, she just went to the sink and started doing the dishes (not very well I might add). We barely know her!
Today, we had a family friend over (also not someone we are particularly close to, but my parents asked if we could host them and these friends as my parents are in the middle of a house move). The friend slipped out of the room where we were all having teas and coffees, and then proceeded to “secretly” do some of the dishes from lunch (at first I thought she’d gone to the loo). I told her she shouldn’t have, to which she responded that it will make my DH happy if all the dishes are done and the house is clean 🙄
Oh, and we have a dishwasher, which I pointed out on both occasions!
I know they’re probably just trying to be helpful, and I of course always ask if I can help when I’m a guest at someone else’s home - it’s the polite thing to do. But I find it slightly rude and irritating that they insist on doing it despite repeatedly being asked not to, or sneak out to do it while I’m entertaining other guests.
Am I being weird and uptight about this, or would you also be a bit annoyed?
Obviously it’s a different story if it’s a close friend or family member. And there have been occasions when I’ve hosted a big party that goes late into the night and we end up with a mountain of stuff, in which case I’m grateful for the people who stay behind to help a bit.
But these were both just casual lunches at a normal time with a completely manageable amount of plates.