Is this childish? FOMO at Christmas

[PurpleSky300]

I am one of those people who buys into the hype of Christmas - as far as I'm concerned, I save all year for it and the whole month of December is for markets, meals out, parties, shows, baking, guilt-free time off work and all the things I don't get to do often during the rest of the year.

But every year, I always feel a bit flat when I'm faced with my actual reality, which is nothing like that. I live alone and am lucky if I can drag my friends once or twice to the pub, or for a meal. Those who have children are very much preoccupied with their families, which I can understand. My parents are bored with it all. I ask and people say they're busy, they're skint, everything is too loud/expensive at Christmas, it's too far to go, etc, etc.

It feels like a kick in the teeth. At Christmas I feel this enormous sense that everyone, everywhere is out there having the time of their lives, and even though I have people around me in some sense, I can't take part. Is it just fear of missing out? Am I lonely or trying to relive my childhood or what? The only person who has made time for me so far this Xmas is my GM (90). I visited her on the coast and we baked cinnamon biscuits and watched musicals like old times, it was nice.

How old are you?

What are you doing for Christmas Day?

Why don't you just enjoy your life all year round, instead of thinking December is the bee all and end all?

This is excellent advice.

I think if you buy into ALL the hype and expectation, commercialisation, you will be setting yourself up for a fall. There is a lot of nonsense about the season. The idea that everyone else is having a great time, for a start. It's not true.
Instead, have and do only the things that you personally like. Christmas isnt a Hallmark movie, it's just 1 day.
Keep in mind, this is the hardest time of year for a lot of people, loneliness is rife, homelessness and poverty too.
Count your blessings and be kind to yourself.

If this happens every year op, perhaps dial it back and spend more time investing in other times of the year.

the whole month of December is for markets, meals out, parties, shows, baking, guilt-free time off work and all the things I don't get to do often during the rest of the year.

presumably you’re not doing this alone, so clearly others are feeling festive too!

Did you read my post?

Yes op I did

you say everyone is whinging about it

but you’re going out for meals, partying, Christmas markets… with people? And literally as they’re doing these Christmas activities they are whinging about it?

Have you looked at Meet Up groups? Lots of the my will be having Christmas parties and trips out. That's one place to find people who want the same as you in December.

@Atorwave that is a description of how OP would like December to be, but it doesn't turn out like that.

I save all year for it and the whole month of December is for markets, meals out, parties, shows, baking, guilt-free time off work and all the things I don't get to do often during the rest of the year.

So every year you save for something that has never yet happened?

well at least you go in to the new year with a tidy sum tucked away if you’ve never spent it!

But every year, I always feel a bit flat when I'm faced with my actual reality, which is nothing like that.

Nobody's (well, hardly anybody's) actual reality is like that.

That's why the almost universal response to "How was your Christmas?" is "Nice. You know, quiet".

People aren't going to loads of parties, dolled up in the red velvet dresses in the magazines, heaping piles of food on the table for 20-30 people or falling in love with a hunk in an Arran knit.

It's just a "nice" day (if you're lucky).
And, you know, quiet.

Forget about saving up to have a great December and invest in making your day to day life more joyful. Coffee catch-ups with friends, weekly pilates class at your favourite studio, a pedicure in summer, etc. Small things that bring you joy.

Where you at OP, I'm a Christmas fiend and will go out and be festive with you every day of the week 😁 you just have to find your fellow festive nutcases to enjoy it all with! They're out there (few and far between on Mumsnet though!)

OP with kindness it is completely barking to save all your money up all year for Christmas.

What the hell do you do that for?!

Firstly, summer is more fun (this is a fact) secondly, people have family commitments and or flu at Christmas which means people aren't super available.

You seem to be doing the thing that a small sub-set of single women (not most single women but it does mostly seem to be women who do it) of think your life is supposed to resemble a Hallmark movie.

Stop being so daft and start living your life like the able adult you are. maybe book some winter sun in January.

I think the OP has received some harsh responses. I understand how you're feeling. Christmas can be an odd mix of nostalgia for the times of your childhood (and all the excitement and gathering of families which that might have entailed) and a longing for the sense of celebration, merriment and joy. It starts so early too - the shops are awash with party outfits and sequins for all these gatherings that people are seemingly attending, magazines and instagram are full of tablescapes and canapé and cocktail ideas etc. It can feel a bit like you're on the outside looking in at the magic without being part of it.

Is it that odd? Most people I know save something monthly towards Christmas - it's an expensive time of year!

Yes but you say you save and then never actually do anything, and it’s the same every year.

So next year… don’t save. Enjoy other times of year

People are though, obviously. I don't think I'm particularly unusual but I've already had a work Xmas party and a work Xmas brunch , a meal with friends next week, a night out with other friends next week, an xmas market, I'll have a Stephens day party for family, around 35 people with lots of food and drink....
And I'll call that a fairly quiet one.

People are asking you how it's expensive when you say you're not doing all the things you've saved up for and want to do.

Well, because I still have to buy presents for people, and food, and cards, and all the other stuff that goes with Christmas. Fun money is part of it but not all of it.

Far from being out all the time and having fun, most people I know are exhausted and see it all as a bit of a chore. Focussing on just one month so much doesn’t really make much sense, especially when you feel so let down every year.

Thank you. I thought the responses seemed a bit off. Though there are about 7 from the same fool, pretending that they don't understand my post. And then something telling me I want my life to be a Hallmark film? Christ.