Can someone help me to feel grateful for what I haven’t something so I can carry on?

[IwishIwasapigeon]

I’m crying outside the garden centre. I am okay for a while and then I just feel like crying and disappearing again. Life just seems so difficult

Sorry for the typo. It should say ‘ have or ‘

I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy op 💐

Is there something going on in your life at the moment you need help with, or are you just feeling down in general?

Have you been to the doctors at all? That might be a good place to start.

Your feelings are valid though. Do you know why you feel so sad? Is it because of recent events or do you think it could go back to issues and difficulties earlier in life and be more like depression?

I have two teenagers. They are lovely but one was hospitalised with anorexia for a while and came out this summer. Other one is autistic and dropped out of uni this year. Bothe need support a lot
work seems never ending.

my brothers and mum and dad are all a bit crap and I just feel sad a lot and stressed.

And it’s Christmas and I have to do everything and I just want to run away

i am fine for a while, strong and manage it all and then I have days where I hear the Christmas music and just want to cry

I haven’t been to the gp. I’m on HRT but no idea if it helps really because life is hard too. I know everyone has shit going on. I don’t know why I find it hard to cope sometimes

I don’t know. I just want to die accidentally or disappear

That all sounds really difficult, OP. Seeing your GP would be a good idea.

Could you afford a private counsellor?

I'm really sorry, 2 teenagers are stressful, let alone 1 who has mental health issues and another who has dropped out. And Christmas is a lot of pressure.

Can you make it as easy as possible for yourself? So forget a tree, make lunch something simple, minimise presents, cut yourself some slack.

I think also concentrate on the things you can control, like the ones above and try not to think too much about those you can't.

Hi OP. I think the jollity of the season and the expectations can be overwhelming if you’re already feeling sad or have had a difficult year. Hold your children close as you go into a new year. Anything is possible xx

I’ve been to one but had to stop. I felt fine to anyway then the waves come back again. It’s probably because I took the day off work to get some Christmas shopping and can’t seem to find anything for anyone. Should have gone to work instead and wouldbeok

I hear you, OP. Sorry you feel this way. Please remember that nothing lasts forever, things will change. Be kind to yourself, sometimes things aren't the way we expect, and that's when we should be kind to ourselves and try and get some rest.

See your GP if you can or, if you can afford it, book some counselling.

On the plus side your teenagers are lovely, plenty aren't!

Also check your HRT dose, it may not be high enough. If you have a good friend to talk to, tell them how you're feeling.

Thanks for the kind words. It’s set me off again though

Yes it’s all so jolly and so much pressure

Go home, do it all online. There's still time.

You don't have to participate in anything to do with Christmas if you don't want to.

Have a chat with your teens and see if they just want a couple of gifts and a takeaway or something.

Parenting can be brutal, I have teens with varying needs as well, and it's relentless sometimes, and that's without putting additional pressure on yourself.

It might be a good idea to go back to the gp and explain how you're feeling, maybe they can suggest something else to help you.

Yes this is true. Thanks. They are lovely

I'm so sorry, that would be a struggle for anyone.

How can you lighten your load? Is there anything that doesnt need to be done?

Be kind to yourself. Say no to as much as possible.

Sometimes for me, when life has been stressful, it's been fine until I stop and have time to think about it and only then does it become overwhelming. Could this be the case for you? (you said you'd have been fine at work, presumably because you wouldn't have to think about it all).

I honestly would try to relieve some of the pressure and stop trudging around the shops, which is enough to send anyone off IMO!

This is a really good question. Sometimes things just have to be ok, not perfect.

Yes you’re right. It’s true. I might go home and have a cup of tea and take the one who dropped out out for a walk. She would like that

This is hard because I feel like I really need to make things nice because both teens are struggling.

Also have to go to family events which is hard with the ill one

That sounds nice for you both. Maybe find some ways to completely lower the bar on Christmas to take the pressure off (eg gift vouchers rather than trying to shop for difficult relatives). And find some ways to take care of yourself too.