Xmas version of things you wouldn't admit in real life....

[TinselTina]

I wish people would stop mentioning my 5 foot 3 height like im an outlier.
I cannt believe I married my ex. I needed to be in a mental hospital not marched up the aisle.
I dont care if my child is clever or not.

I remember tackling my Dad head on about the Santa issue - "Do you believe in him?"
And although there was a little bit of obfuscation, he said convincingly enough "Well, he's the spirit of Christmas. I believe in the spirit of Christmas." It seemed a perfect answer that has held its line over the years.

It’s amazing how this entire thread has now turned into a discussion about my one personal comment, something I simply wanted to get off my chest in what I thought was a safe space to speak freely without being judged or shamed.

I stepped away from this thread because someone called me shameful. I keep being drawn back in because people are judging and shaming me about it. Virtue signalling hypocrites.

It’s boring now. This isn’t my thread. I simply tried to contribute but was met with a true MN style pile on. Sorry OP. Wish I never bothered contributing as it seems to have taken away from the casual nature of your thread.

Sorry to add to the unwanted gift discussion but why not use them to clean the loo? I’ve done that with unwanted shower gels - brought the porcelain up a treat 😆

Charity shop or not, my guess is there are more items of cheap shitey hand cream or body lotion or 'shimmer spray' or terrible nail varnish or 'deluxe soap' or 'lip and cheek pencil' or body spray that could ever actually be used by the population of the country.

Charity shops are full of them, year on year the shelves are cluttered with this stuff. I hate receiving them - I buy myself one bottle of good-quality body lotion every 6 months, barely use handcream, a bar of soap lasts in my bathroom for longer than I can even count, and if nail varnish chips off within a day I'm not going to bother with that again.

It's buying it in the first place for people who won't use it that's creating the demand and the problem, not the person that doesn't shift it to the charity shop.

And I know beauty banks exist and they are good things but surely they must be inundated with low-quality mass-produced stuff that no-one wants to use themselves?

I am filled with jealousy I looked after the 13 month old baby today and our 10 year old black lab. Witt such care and dedication after a shitty week at work (potential redundancy) I parked chores and errands and made the day just about pleasing these two and yet when my husband came home - they both beamed at him and acted like it was the best thing ever!

made the house Christmassy, played all day, nice food, went out for a drive (little one snoozed in the car on the way back from a dog walk went to a drive through got myself a Christmassy hot drink - thought I was killing it as a mum today under the circumstances then he came come home from rugby practice and they both swooned… grrr.

yes, I agree that’s the problem and it’s not me buying the crappy gift sets - we’re a buy for the kids only kind of family and try hard to be intentional and thoughtful about it.

But if I receive stuff like that which I don’t want, I donate them. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. It’s weird how triggering it has been to certain posters to have it suggested that they should be doing that.

There’s nothing on sale in the UK toiletry wise that is so toxic and awful that nobody would want it or it would be unacceptable to pass on. I don’t think poor people should be grateful for any old shit, but not everyone is violently offended about a Bayliss and Harding hand cream or a cheap shower gel. Don’t get me wrong, I love my expensive spendy stuff which I do sometimes get gifted on birthdays, but in between those I can make do with a £1
special and so can most people. And I support a local charity for vulnerable new mothers that actively asks for unwanted make up, nail polish and toiletry sets - as does our local food bank. So don’t kid yourself nobody wants them. There might be a pre-teen girl somewhere made up with that glittery bath bomb. If you (generic you!) can’t be arsed passing them on then fair enough, but don’t kid yourself that it’s for the greater good. (Also - have a bloody word with your friends/ relatives or whoever is buying you hand cream and glitter bath bombs and tell them you don’t want presents anymore - invent an allergy or something and suggest you just meet up for a meal/ coffee and cake/ a nice walk whatever in place of presents in future.

I really don’t like pigs in blankets with my chistmas dinner. Makes me feel sick.

Why would they be tatty?

And yes, my not chucking perfectly usable items in the bin does make a difference thanks.

You carry on chucking it the bin, but you're not doing anything good by pretending that they're so shit that the bin is the best place for them...

Why would you do that?? Recycle them -pass them on, take them to a charity shop, etc. What a stupid waste.

Sorry, but the turkey needs to go entire and golden in all its glory, on to the Christmas table.

If you’re well organised, and preferably don’t try to have Christmas dinner anywhere near normal lunchtime - at 5 or 6 is IMO infinitely preferable - cooking the dinner shouldn’t be too stressful at all.

I love this @ConflictofInterest thank you💜

Do charity shops really want a selection of nail varnishes or a Soap and Glory gift set?
A lot of these sets contain useless items...horrible colours or the endless hand cream.
Charity shops must get a LOT of them. As do school raffles.
Point being, NO ONE WANTS THEM. No one needs heavily scented hand cream. Ever.

They end up sitting around my house until they get binned too.

Get it to the PTA at your local primary school. They will love it for the summer fete/Christmas fair. Pop in reception and ask in January. All of our unwanted gifts go that way, from smelly stuff to hats, scarves, alcohol, ornaments, photo frames. They have a stall where kids can buy parents presents. It's perfect for that.

I feel overwhelmed with stuff. My house is full up as i rent out my bedroom to a lodger and sleep in a box room. I stay at my partners house twice a week anyway so it’s fine but space is limited. So I really hate getting presents that are tat. I have no room to put any more stuff. I do love Christmas and birthdays I just don’t want stuff.

Anyway my teenagers are happy with this and do things like make me a hot chocolate for my birthday or ring me if not at home. I like this rather than a card (bad for environment) or another item. I’ve told my partner not to buy me a physical gift for Christmas and earlier he asked me if I could put the 1st of August in my diary so I think he has arranged something for me for this day as a present instead. So that’s perfect. I like the outside so would happily go to the beach on this day or a nature reserve, for a dog walk or out for lunch etc. So basically the people close to me have embraced what makes me happy. Eg to see them but not to receive unwanted items.

Why are you so outraged about what someone does with an unwanted gift?

Funny how selective people’s morals get. You can judge what you’ve been programmed to be offended by all while typing from your Apple iPhone, made by workers earning as little as £1 an hour in factories Apple made over $100 billion from last year.

Do you shop on Amazon, with its mountains of packaging waste and warehouse conditions criticised worldwide? Or maybe at Primark, where cheap clothes come at the cost of human labour and landfill? Or sip Coca-Cola, the single biggest plastic polluter on the planet, pumping out about 120 billion bottles a year?

Am I really the stupid one? If you’re going to preach ethics, maybe start with your own choices not someone binning a hand cream trio.

I’m so glad my twat neighbour missed our house off the Christmas card run. Even though it feels like a snub it’s confirmed to me that for some reason he does not like us

Just stop it.
Stop this whataboutery.

No-one on mumsnet lives a perfectly carbon neutral lifestyle, but most of us do what we can - whether it is not owning a car and using public transport, re-using, re-purposing or recycling as much as they can, buying locally sourced produce, being vegetarian or whatever.

You are just being defensive because you know you are wrong. Lots of posters have picked up on your post because they deplore waste. It isn't virtue signalling. It is just plain common sense to avoid waste. You obviously missed the post from someone who was unfortunate enough to need to make use of donated toiletries.

Many PTAs don't want that as neither adults nor kids want to win it.

I've been on a couple and we wouldn't be able to use it or store it in most cases. You can't always be sure how old it is or if it's been opened.

I'm not trying to be an arse, just want to point out that there's a chance you're just shifting the job of binning it to someone else.

Obviously if they're directly asking for it then that's different.

A large part of the environmental damage all these products cause is in their initial production and distribution.

No, I’m defensive because you’re attacking someone’s personal choices while ignoring the real issue, the reason this problem exists in the first place.

Shaming my decisions, knowing full well that none of us are perfect, only serves to boost your own sense of superiority. It is virtue signalling, because you’re criticising someone else’s choices while remaining oblivious to far more serious problems.

It’s safe and easy for you to comment on something trivial that many others do, yet stay silent about the source of the issue, precisely because of reactions like this. You’re ground-level empaths, and I’ll never truly have a voice here because you’ll never get it.

I don’t even want to be in this discussion. It was a passing comment to try and lightly contribute in a space I thought was free of this ridiculous exchange. But I keep getting dragged back into it with comments like “stupid” and “shameful”.

It’s like being back at school. Are you actually adults?

Absolutely! “Shifting the job of binning it onto someone else”. 100%

I'm not looking forward to Christmas. Would not admit this IRL to anyone.

I normally would be, but we're going to my parents' (2.5 hours away) and cooking the meal there. Dad is v frail and it's long overdue to see them on the actual day. (We always invite them to us for Christmas, but they prefer to stay at home so normally we see them a different day which is fine and easier.)

I'm SO hoping I'm wrong, but experince suggests that fuss levels will be stratospheric despite us doing the cooking, judgement will be silent (if I'm v lucky) every time anyone eats anything, and my mum will berate herself loudly for every mouthful. Even a teaspoon of oil on the roasties will mean they're too greasy, and God forbid any onions, garlic or flavour are involved. The Big Light in the living room will make us all feel like it's an interrogation. Mum will also want EVERY LAST SPECK of dirt/oil/proof of cooking erased from the kitchen and the cooker (inside and out) 5 seconds after eating.

We're v different but I can cope fine when visiting in less high stakes times and not for as long. I'd prefer to host them but understand why they don't want to travel. Although we will all do everything we can to make it easy for her, I'm fully expecting mum to make it absolutely impossible for anyone to relax. Just makes me really sad normally, but this year I'm completely burnt out and stressed to fuck and not sure I have the bandwidth to deal with it! Just really hoping it goes better than I fear.

My sister in law is an actual nightmare. The sooner bil leaves her the better

Most Christmas food is yuk. Mince pies, turkey, Brussels sprouts, stollen, Christmas pudding? All yuk.

This ⬆️

A couple of years ago I spoke to SIL about not buying for their 27 year old son but then it got really awkward as she was insisting I include them as I'd be buying for their 16 year old siblings (as well as other younger relatives).

Wouldn't mind but I never get a thank you, they don't bother with his grandparents on our side of the family but still expect Xmas and birthday money from them. They don't even wish any of us happy birthday!!!