The lead up to fucking Christmas can fuck off

[1wokeuplikethis]

The next 2 weeks are so rammajammed with school activities (carols, jumper day, craft afternoon, panto trip, assembly etc) like usual the school goes into crackhead-level hysteria ramming more stuff into the last 2 weeks of the longest term than they do the rest of the entire year.

I’m not a teacher, just a mum trying to remember it all and keep up. On top of this is the lovely things I’ve booked for us to do as a family, which is hugely scaled back because trying to do too much stresses me out. And I know me and the kids all need downtime to relax and rejuvenate and filling each day with commercial crap is knackering and leaves me feeling jaded anyway.

Along with this, the present buying, wrapping, ordering, returning. Meal planning, ordering, buying. Catching up with friends. Work Christmas do. Seeing family. Trying to keep the house tidy, work, cook meals, attend clubs/sports/hobbies, make packed lunches, remember fucking everything all at once and then also be a spirited elf of joy with family and friends. I’m fucking knackered. I’m miserable. My sleep is shot. I’ve been on the verge of crying all day. The things I normally enjoy bring me no joy because I just have this underlying feeling of stress, panic and misery.

How can I let go, relax and try to enjoy these next 2 weeks? Please. I’ve come home from my son’s carol concert feeling deflated, sad and overwhelmed, yet also like I’m not doing enough (which is actual madness). Hand me a grip please.

You need to take a step back. Work out what is essential and what’s not and look into prioritising some downtime.

It’s not clear why the carol concert was a downer though? Are you feeling like you’ve got a bug or premenstrual or something like that?

Are you a lone parent?

How dare the school staff arrange fun events for children at Christmas! Madness!

like usual the school goes into crackhead-level hysteria ramming more stuff into the last 2 weeks of the longest term than they do the rest of the entire year.

😂😂😂

I remember these days when the children were at school, and I was a teacher. One year was particularly stressful when DD was singing in a few choirs, plus school, plus our own church.

I wasn't the best at staying organised, and this was pre-smartphone days, with the calendar.

Now, I don't get stressed at all. Advent is all about watchful waiting, not doing things.

I've never understood all the "lets see people we never see from one year end to the next" stuff. You've got all year instead of ramming yourselves into bars and pubs that are too busy and loud.

I'm not especially Grinch like; just I'm damned if I'm going to do so much that by the time Christmas week comes I'm wrecked. Admittedly there's the pre Christmas family get together. I should have planned it better this year sigh

Yeah I’m doing a lot less this year. Got fucking exhausted last year

I know what you mean, mine are almost through primary but this year I have booked nothing for us as a family. We always end up shattered, and at least one of us ill!! I’m trying to do as little as possible this year.

I hear you op. It’s exhausting. You don’t say if you have a partner in all of this. If you don’t, commiserations - it’s hard work! But if you do have a partner, be nerds to pull his weight

Try having 4 kids in 4 different schools. The key is to lower your standards. My standards dropped with each child. I love this time of year and the madness of it all. Ds3 is disabled and I had to travel just 50 miles round trip to watch his Christmas play at his special school. It's so, so easy to think "why isn't he at his siblings school? Why does life have be hard for him? Why does he need to struggle with his lines?" But if you break it down to it lowest parts. He smashed it. He had two roles. He only fluffed one line. That didn't phase him.

Is he happy? Yes. Therefore I am happy.

Leave the mum guilt at the door. Don't worry it's not perfect, it's rushed. Lower the expectations and standards and let it run over you. My house is tip. That's OK.. I can sort it come January. It's not going anywhere. I like to think "only x uniform washes until end of term now" makes it much more palatable. Everyone fed, no one dead and all that. Your winning at life honestly. No one knows when you last dusted or hoovered. At least that's what I tell myself

I completely agree , I have ended up hating Christmas. It all gets too much. Maybe the school need to scale back, you can get in touch after this Christmas . Get thru this year and decide what you want to do nxt year. It might be overwhelming for kids too x

Honestly its insanity
Its not even Christmas yet , its bloody Advent and yet people are going nuts.
Why?

When did it start so early?

Oh and easy peelers can fuck right off
I want Clementines Thank you !

After two years of mayhem and feeling sad that I lost the joy for Christmas I scaled back, significantly.

School stuff was put in the calendar and luckily all but the nativity play was during school hours.
DD did musical theatre but her performance was again during a normal day for lesson so no more wiggling around.

I priotirized tree buying, family carol concert, baking together.

Myself and my best friends all have December birthdays, we go out in January or February now.

Meet family after Christmas.

I never get time off due to end of December being our busiest time of year at work but luckily DH is and he is in charge of shopping and had to entertain DD when she was younger.

Presents are just for DH and DD plus my mum but that is all sorted end of November.

It will all be over in 17 days - thank goodness - just relax - it really doesn't have to be perfect or anywhere near that!

Commiserations. I always do my best to get everything I can done in November but never really succeed. And all the school stuff is crazy. Thankfully our school seems to have calmed down a bit this year, just one 'Christmas jumper day' for which you can wear Christmas socks or a Santa hat instead (I refuse to buy Christmas jumpers on principle but hats can be reused every year and my kids go through socks like nobody's business anyway so one pair for the festive season is OK).

But their music school has gone too far - my daughter is doing 3 concerts 🫠

There is too much celebration in our society these days. It is exhausting and it makes it less special and largely the burden of organising and facilitating these things falls on women.

It takes the joy out of it and I'm not surprised you felt deflated after listening to some cheery and spirited carols when you aren't feeling cheery and spirited yourself, how can you be with everything that is expected of you?

I agree with previous posters to sit down and write out what needs doing and priorities what's important.

And I agree to lower your standards. You should see my Christmas tree this year, it looks like it's been swept up in a hurricane and plonked back down and the only decorations it has on apart from some tinsel and lights are the crafted decorations my kids keep bringing home from playgroups which get literally chucked on as and when they make them. Might be a depressing sight to some but to me it represents my liberation from the slavery of Christmas.

I am already done with xmas completely. Tried to have a conversation with the family (2 teens and husband) about wishes for xmas dinner so I don't have to do all the fucking thinking, shopping and cooking, it was like pulling teeth! DH said he didn't care when I asked him if there was anything he wanted GREAT! beans on toast it is then or something that suits me (the only vegetarian). And the rest of them can FUCK OFF!

Amen

Just try and do as little as is needed. Choose 1 of the Christmas events and just make a big deal out of that.
Keep things simple. I tend to look for one present that will suit all kids and get them all the same, same goes for my adult friends/family.

I reserve special bespoke prezzies for birthdays.

This way of doing things has made my Christmas's so much more manageable and I actually enjoy them now.

Im having a stress free xmas again.
Early spring clean, decluttering, painting the kitching out then the bathroom.
Im just gonna chill chill chill.
While all i see read and hear is pepole rushing, spending, arguing, planing un needed crap ect.

It's very overrated and I hear you all.
❤️

Scale it back. Seriously. And don't feel guilty about it. The kids will still love it.

I had the tree delivered. DH gets the decorations out of the attic, I added the lights to the tree and let my eight year old DD go wild decorating it. It looks like a child decorated it but that only adds to the charm. She also values decorations very differently, all her homemade ones are at the top.

DDs Christmas dinner at school. I told her she can bring anything she likes to it but it has to be shop bought. I don't have time to cook anything this year.

Let your partner if you have one deal with presents and cards for his side of the family. Don't send many cards. I send 3. To my mom, grandparents and great aunt.

Conveniently Father Christmas will really appreciate it when your DC put an alcoholic beverage and biscuit of your choice under the tree for him.

Reduce the number of presents. I have found my DC don't do well when there is too much so they get about 4 each. Less cost, less mess and less wrapping to do. If you feel guilty about this spend more per present.

Christmas dinner for us will be a roast with some fancy wines and a fancy shop bought ice cream dessert. DC love it, especially when you put sparklers in it.

We have a boxing day fondue tradition. Melted cheese is always good, especially when the whole thing takes about 15 minutes to prepare.

Take back Christmas.

I used to enjoy it so much more, I can’t exactly put my finger on why or what happened/is happening, but I feel drained and joyless.

Things like Christmas craft afternoon at school fuck me off because I have to book time off work. Yes it’s lovely and you get a keepsake, and it means a lot to my child so I will always try my best to make it. But I do actually normally enjoy the carols, maybe I felt sad because I couldn’t actually see my son for the whole thing. He was sat at the front lower down than seated parents and I was a few rows back. He’s put loads of effort in to learning the lines and I told him I’d be watching every single word, then couldn’t even bloody see him. Zero common sense from the school.

Think I’m going to try and have some early nights this week if I can. When I’m tired everything seems shit.

I feel reassured by those who understand the overwhelm. I need to think how to scale back even more next year - without feeling guilty about doing less. So many of my friends have gone to actual Lapland with their kids, or uk Lapland and last night I felt shit that I’ve never done that and probably never will.

but on the flip side, Lapland uk would be my idea of hell. I’m not making much sense 😔

Please follow through with this and see if they really don't care! Next year you might even get some help, or not.

May I recommend cheese fondue. My ideal festive meal, takes about 15 minutes to set up, my fondue pan goes in the dishwasher afterwards so I can enjoy my cheese coma in peace (in theory, I have young DC).

This week is a week from hell. We have 3 singing concerts and a panto DC are performing in. And everyone is coming down with sickness bugs so it's like russian roulette as to whether the DC will actually make the performances they've been working hard towards for the last month.

At work everyone is cramming in meetings to catch people before they go off for Xmas.

I haven't even thought about the actual Xmas element of it all.