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Original poster

Would you drive to your dc if they broke down?

64 replies

notmynamenamename · 06/12/2025 08:37

I was having a conversation with a group of friends recently. We all have children in their early- mid twenties.

one mother was saying her 22 year old dd broke down in her car and called rac and was waiting for them , she text mum on family chat to let her know. Mum asked a few questions and checked she was okay. It was 4 pm and she was on a street in an urban area and was safely parked. It was about an hour from mum (she doesn’t live at mums house). Dd got home a couple hours later, car was towed to garage and her bf picked her up (they live about 20 min from where it happened)

The Dd rang in the evening upset because no one offered to come to sit with her, her bf was at work but came after (around 530). Her dad was at work and didn’t see messages until later. Her sister was also at work but messaged saying she hoped she was ok. Mum was at home but an hour away and had 13 year old due home and was doing tea.

Should mum have offered to go sit with her?

OP posts:
Clingfilm · 06/12/2025 08:39

Of course not, she's 22.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 06/12/2025 08:41

My dad would have driven to me But I do think an hour was s reasonable distance not to go.

poetryandwine · 06/12/2025 08:41

I would never have expected this age 22. It wouldn’t occur to me to go, either, in the circs ypu describe

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13 year olds Families
Pedallleur · 06/12/2025 08:42

No, she is 22. She was safe, had a phone and was waiting for recovery. She wasn't in the middle of nowhere or some urban ghetto

Smartiepants79 · 06/12/2025 08:42

In the scenario described, with her in a safe place. Then no, probably not.

HopSpringsEternal · 06/12/2025 08:42

In those circumstances no, of course not.

goingtotown · 06/12/2025 08:43

No she needs to grow up.

Badslipperluck · 06/12/2025 08:43

I wouldn't have gone to her in those circumstances.

SiobahnRoy · 06/12/2025 08:46

In these circumstances no I wouldn’t. However when 20yo broke down on a busy A road 10 mins away from home we did go to her. RAC took hours to get there so it’s just as well we did.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 06/12/2025 08:46

I would never have expected this age 22. It wouldn’t occur to me to go, either, in the circs ypu describe

Ditto.

Iwontlethtesungodownonme · 06/12/2025 08:46

If I had nothing else to do and she wanted it I would probably have stayed on the phone for a chat. Just because she is so busy at the moment that it would be nice to catch her when she had nowhere else to be.

Coconutter24 · 06/12/2025 08:47

If I was the mum then no I wouldn’t have drove an hour to a 22 year old that was parked up safely and already waiting for assistance. If DD asked and I was at home doing nothing (no work etc) then I’d of FaceTimed her or called to talk.

TheFairyCaravan · 06/12/2025 08:47

DH would have because he’s good with cars so he might have been able to fix it.

When DGS was 3 weeks old, DS2 popped 2 tyres in a pot hole after we’d all been at MILs. We were on our way home in the opposite direction but we drove to them. We picked up DDIL and DGS and drove them 2 hours to meet her parents who drove them the rest of the way home. RAC said it would be at least 4 hours, and it was minus temperatures, so we couldn’t leave newborn DGS on the side of the road like that. I expect most people would go to their children in that situation.

Yellowingtrees · 06/12/2025 08:48

id have chatted on the phone but not gone.

did she ask? Her job to ask for what she wants, not for others to anticipate…

BrokenSunflowers · 06/12/2025 08:52

The was a not insignificant chance that she would have been recovered before her mum even reached her.

ConnieHeart · 06/12/2025 08:55

Definitely not. An hour's drive away? You could turn up & the recovery could turn up minutes later

TroysMammy · 06/12/2025 08:59

No and at that age and circumstances I wouldn't have expected it.

@TheFairyCaravan when I broke down in the middle of town with my then 6 year old niece in the car, and some nice bin men pushed my car to a side street, I rang the RAC. My niece started wailing and the operator asked if I had a child in the car. The RAC man turned up in under half an hour.

Andromed1 · 06/12/2025 09:34

Of course not! Honestly shes an adult and can manage a mildly unpleasant couple of hours on her own. Different if she was stranded in a dangerous city at night unable to park safely.

TwotierChriatmas · 06/12/2025 10:06

How come these people are not seeing messages at work ? What if something serious had happened ? We all work and have access to our phones.

Borka · 06/12/2025 10:20

TwotierChriatmas · 06/12/2025 10:06

How come these people are not seeing messages at work ? What if something serious had happened ? We all work and have access to our phones.

Can't you think of any jobs where people wouldn't have access to their phone?

TheFairyCaravan · 06/12/2025 10:24

@TroysMammy DS2 told the RAC they had a newborn with them, they still said it would be 4 hours. The response times are ridiculous since Covid.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 06/12/2025 10:24

How come these people are not seeing messages at work ? What if something serious had happened ? We all work and have access to our phones.

Firstly, not everyone has access to their mobile phone at work.

Secondly, we're often quite busy and may not notice a message flash up. Or we're in a meeting and dont take phones with us unless we're expecting an urgent call.

Thirdly, it's not good to always be 'on'. Its good to step away from phones from time to time. This constant expectation of being in touch is not good for our collective mental health, in my view. Leave the phone in a different room. Turn it off. (Especially in the theatre or cinema.) Give yourself downtime.

MannersAreAll · 06/12/2025 10:29

In those circumstances, no.
She was in a safe location, it was 4pm, and the younger child needed sorted.

I have done it in other occasions.

Once at 2am and DDs car completely died on here. She was very scared because her hazard lights weren't even working so she was very worried about another car hitting hers. Another when DS was slightly injured after hitting a pot hole so I went to check how injured he was and to take him to hospital (he fractured his wrist) as soon as his car was recovered.

MannersAreAll · 06/12/2025 10:30

TwotierChriatmas · 06/12/2025 10:06

How come these people are not seeing messages at work ? What if something serious had happened ? We all work and have access to our phones.

When I worked in schools there was no access to phones except at lunchtime (if you actually got a break).

Anything major that absolutely required me to leave work my family would have called the school for.

Same with DH. He works in a location that doesn't allow phones. In an emergency you'd phone his work place rather than him directly.

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 10:34

TwotierChriatmas · 06/12/2025 10:06

How come these people are not seeing messages at work ? What if something serious had happened ? We all work and have access to our phones.

Can you really not think of a job where someone can’t look at their phone at work?

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