Would you drive to your dc if they broke down?

[notmynamenamename]

I was having a conversation with a group of friends recently. We all have children in their early- mid twenties.

one mother was saying her 22 year old dd broke down in her car and called rac and was waiting for them , she text mum on family chat to let her know. Mum asked a few questions and checked she was okay. It was 4 pm and she was on a street in an urban area and was safely parked. It was about an hour from mum (she doesn’t live at mums house). Dd got home a couple hours later, car was towed to garage and her bf picked her up (they live about 20 min from where it happened)

The Dd rang in the evening upset because no one offered to come to sit with her, her bf was at work but came after (around 530). Her dad was at work and didn’t see messages until later. Her sister was also at work but messaged saying she hoped she was ok. Mum was at home but an hour away and had 13 year old due home and was doing tea.

Should mum have offered to go sit with her?

My DH would probably do this for our 20 somethings but I wouldn't unless there was a proper reason I was needed - not just for company.

Ten minutes away if I was free, yes to keep them company (would do the same for anyone at any age) but not an hour away in those circumstances. I'd be at work anyway, so wouldn't be able to.

No. She needs to change to greenfly, they've been there in a jiffy for me quite a few times

I think at that time of day I’d let them crack on , late at night I’d go , or to be more accurate get their dad to go .

No I wouldn't in that situation unless they were distressed. I would if they were in the middle of nowhere and weren't expecting the breakdown service for a while

I would, but then my dad did it for me when I was about the same age, actually I just called him and not only did he pick me up but he also called the garage and arranged everything for the car itself.

I had somebody go into the back of me when I was 18, I rang my mum, she calmed me down and told me what to do, I did it, then got the train home. I was quite shaken up but didn’t need somebody sitting with me, I just needed to get on with sorting it out and get home.

When I broke down in my early 20s, it didn’t even occur to me to call my mum, just told her in passing when I next spoke to her. Absolutely ludicrous to expect somebody to leave work and drive for an hour just to sit with you.

My aunt and uncle went to pick my cousin when she hit a rabbit when she 17 (one drive the car home) but that was because she was distraught rather than just for company. And it was only 10mins away (and at 11pm).

A 22 is an adult. She doesn't need someone to hold her hand for an hour.

My dad would. He drove an hour and a half to my sister in law once when she broke down with her two kids in the car

Oh FGS. I would never have expected that from family or friends.

I would check any family member or friend was ok, but driving an hour each way is totally ridiculous when the problem is in hand and no serious threat or discomfort.

Teacher, doctors, bus drivers, court officials, people who work in sensitive lab environments, actors on stage , pilots, farmers out of signal range, people in a long important meeting …. Huge numbers of people have to wait a couple of hours or all day to look at their phones.

Not everyone is glued to their phone while working .

No. That's what the AA/RAC are for.
In fact, why did this woman contact her mother at all? They don't even live in the same house, so just no need.
Why can't a 22 year old sit quietly in their own car for an hour ?

In those circumstances, no.

Motorway hard shoulder, at night, probably.

Children’s nurseries. Our staff put phones in the safe on arrival. Could have them to check at lunchtime, outside the premises. In emergency they could reached on the main phone line

Not in that situation. DH did drive to our DS when he had an accident in the middle of the night on a country road though.

I think I would have if I was able to. Me and my 3 kids broke down on the M25 and were waiting on a grass verge for 5 hours, the kids were crying with cold, it was awful. Their dad (my ex) refused to drive an hour to collect them and I remember how alone and helpless I felt, the RAC are useless, they take forever!

Would depend on situation/location/ETA of recovery and the individual involved.

4 hr recovery time at night, probably yes, for anyone I loved, if I was able to. It’s a long time to wait alone.

1 hour recovery only if in potentially dangerous situation with vulnerable passengers in car.

Yes I agree if there’s young kids in the car or late at night or injured. There was a few in the group who said they (or dh) would go.

I drove from Uk to Germany for my first job when I was 21. Bastard Austin Allegro didn’t get further than Mannheim.
My parents did not come and sit with me while I sorted it out!

Yes, if I could. I mean, I’m 45 and Dh would come get me if he could. As I would him. It sucks to be stranded on the side of the road for hours.

That said, I’d hope she’d ask her bf and friends who are local too.

Intend to assume that if people really need me, they'll make a phone call, which I'd hear. I'm really not checking all the nonsense messages all day on the off chance I'm needed in a emergency.

This.

I have sons 22 & 24 and by most standards on MN I do far too much for them, but it wouldn't even occur to me to go to them if I knew AA was on the way, even if it was going to be a while.

I'm in the category of people who cannot have their phone on at work so when DD broke down (as a newly qualified driver stuck in a dangerous location on a busy dual carriageway) I knew nothing about it. DH was miles away, but by some fluke DS was close by working so dropped everything to go to her and calm her down / help move the car to a safer location. I was very glad that he was there for her, but in the scenario that you describe, no I would not expect anyone to go.

You can't go and get them though. Someone needs to wait with the car.