I don't know what to do - mum in hospital, dog with severe separation anxiety

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

My mum collapsed at home on Tuesday and is currently in hospital. She's recovering well but I don't know when she's going to come home.

She has an 11 year old Jack Russell with severe separation anxiety. He isn't safe with cats so cannot come to my home.

I am currently staying at her house but it is unsustainable for much longer. I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room so my kids can have the bed. My cats are getting two visits daily but I'm concerned about leaving them for too much longer. I also have a chronic health condition that is being made much worse by the stress and poor quality sleep. My sister also has cats and he can't stay there either - we tried that last time. He jumped over a baby gate and grabbed one of the cats, resulting in the poor cat having a puncture wound that's still being treated.

Ideally I'd like to put him into home boarding for a couple of days to give myself a rest but I'm not sure how feasible it is - even on Xanax he gets frantic when left somewhere. (To the point he absolutely trashed my sister's kitchen when he stayed there.)

It's the only med that suitable for him due to a heart murmur per the vet. He has a thunder shirt which helps some, and we have tried DAP with little success. He only settles if there's someone he knows in the same room with him at all times.

I have contacted the Cinnamon Trust but don't know if anyone would be able to take him because of his behavior.

I genuinely have no idea what to do next - I'm miserable, my kids are miserable and I really just want to be in my own home!

Thank you!

I would have given you the name of a behaviourist I know who does home boarding - hopefully you can find a solution soon. ChenDog had horrendous separation anxiety so you have my sympathy - it's horrible to watch and very difficult to deal with. Good luck 💐

I found a council approved doggy day and holiday care provider through Rover.com for my bichon who has seperation anxiety. She could not sleep alone and we found a sitter who was flexible with sleeping arrangements. What a worry for you!

Nobody’s asking you to despair.

Oh OP, I'm so sorry that you're still help less with this. At this point, I would if it's worthwhile contacting a jack russell or a general dog rescue in your area and seeing if someone would foster the dog for your Mum on an ongoing basis? It doesn't sound like she's going to be home any time soon or capable of looking after a dog either.

Mad isn’t it? 🙄

It's mad that someone who quite obviously doesn't know that SA is far more than the dog being slightly uncomfortable actually takes the time to post and demonstrate their ignorance of the subject.

I don’t know anything about dogs OP, but I just wanted to chime in as I had two parents in two different hospitals much of this summer (also have young kids) and it was a total nightmare. Look after yourself.

Thank you! It really is so fucking hard, isn't it? I hope your parents are doing well now!

Had a proper row with her last night because I asked her to sleep at our parents' house and keep an eye on the dog.

She refused, I lost my temper and raised my voice first (I really just want to go home- I'm feeling extremely guilty because it feels like I'm neglecting my cats because of the dog and I'm getting zero help)

She said she'll take the dog to hers, I pointed out she's already tried that and it doesn't work, she threw a big box of cat food at me and stormed into the house. Sent me this while I was driving.

Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm so utterly done.

Put it in kennels. Then it doesn’t matter if it trashes them. Dog won’t be that happy but it’s only temporary until she comes home

I can't. Can't find his vaccination record, have no access to my parents' accounts, can't afford to pay for it myself right on Christmas.

Please don’t do this - a dog with severe behavioural issues has no place in a busy hospital . It will stress the dog and not be safe for other patients and busy staff

Could you see if a dog sitter could stay at your mum's house? It would be less stressful on the dog if he's in his own house at least. Most dogs would find kennels stressful, especially if they are not used to it.

My dog was like this a few years ago. But if he had to be a situation that made him stressed, we would give him a sedative that can be taken with Xanax and heart murmur (my dog has one too). I would be blunt with the vet and explain your situation as they wouldn't want a dog under sustained periods of stress.

Good luck

Then you can’t afford a pet sitter either. They are far more expensive than kennels. Can you ask your mum for her bank card to pay? You must be able to find it in her house? Or with her in the hospital. It’s clear that neither you nor your sister have the capacity to take care of the dog. So it’s either pay for care or rehome.

I agree re the vet - can you make an appointment and see what they can do as a temporary measure? I know it's just one more (fucking) thing to have to do, but maybe worth it to give you the help you need here?

Oh he behaves perfectly as long as he's within two feet of you. It's being left alone that's the issue.

I'm not taking him to the hospital though, don't worry.

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to offer empathy for you having to deal with two sick parents (dad post heart attack and mum now in hospital) as well as an anxious dog plus your own family right at Christmas.

I’ve had two hospitalised parents at Christmas before and it’s stressful and very tough. I hope despite it all, you get them both home soon and manage to enjoy a bit of the holiday.

For christs sake is there anywhere dog free?

Can’t the dog be in a separate room from the cats at sisters?

You need a crate for the dog to stop him damaging things. Often they feel safer in a crate.

There’s a home boarder near me (where the dogs live in her home as one of the family), that has taken on an elderly lady’s dog while she is in a care home (this started as a temporary measure, but i think it’s going to be a permanent move). The council are footing the bill for the dog. I don’t know any more details, but it might be something to investigate.

I also have a rescue dog with SA and live alone, I didn't know he had SA until I got him, I was worried about what would happen if I had to go into hospital or whatever so I contacted Cinnamon Trust to register him but they refused to resister him because of his SA, even though he isn't destructive, he just barks and howls, so am still trying to think of a solution.

Do you have a 'Borrow my Doggy' in your area? They have volunteers who will take the dog on walks or to their homes for a few hours? It might be a bit of respite for you, it's something I've thought about just in case.

@EmptyTheFrickingBins Is this something you or your mum could afford? There seem to be a few dog sitting services in the Teeside area. Might be worth a call, though I guess at this time of year they might be already booked up or unwilling to leave their own family and pets. Maybe just for a few days, as respite for you. Having had a dog with SA it is tough, and she wasn't as bad as your mums dog

https://www.willowandsagepetcare.co.uk/services