I don't know what to do - mum in hospital, dog with severe separation anxiety

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

My mum collapsed at home on Tuesday and is currently in hospital. She's recovering well but I don't know when she's going to come home.

She has an 11 year old Jack Russell with severe separation anxiety. He isn't safe with cats so cannot come to my home.

I am currently staying at her house but it is unsustainable for much longer. I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room so my kids can have the bed. My cats are getting two visits daily but I'm concerned about leaving them for too much longer. I also have a chronic health condition that is being made much worse by the stress and poor quality sleep. My sister also has cats and he can't stay there either - we tried that last time. He jumped over a baby gate and grabbed one of the cats, resulting in the poor cat having a puncture wound that's still being treated.

Ideally I'd like to put him into home boarding for a couple of days to give myself a rest but I'm not sure how feasible it is - even on Xanax he gets frantic when left somewhere. (To the point he absolutely trashed my sister's kitchen when he stayed there.)

It's the only med that suitable for him due to a heart murmur per the vet. He has a thunder shirt which helps some, and we have tried DAP with little success. He only settles if there's someone he knows in the same room with him at all times.

I have contacted the Cinnamon Trust but don't know if anyone would be able to take him because of his behavior.

I genuinely have no idea what to do next - I'm miserable, my kids are miserable and I really just want to be in my own home!

Thank you!

I think this is a bad time of year due to people being away for Christmas but a pet sitter or else a dog walking business that has the dog with them might be a workable alternative for now.

I hope your mum is ok and safety home soon.

@EmptyTheFrickingBins why don't you just focus on the posts from people trying to help you!

Local pet sitter then you can go home and they can watch him it won’t be cheap though. Or look up house sitters than can do both I think this is cheaper or free as they come to stay rent free?

It's nothing to do with training.
You could have 2 puppies from the same litter, treated and trained exactly the same way....one will be fine while the other developes severe separation anxiety.

You can train them to be settled and you might work up to being able to leave them for a few hours, but it takes LOTS of work

@EmptyTheFrickingBins

I hope you have managed to sort something out and that your mum recovers soon

I know that our dog is happy as long as she is in her own home with someone to keep her company

Why was my post hidden?!

I’d put him in a local rover home stay. There are plenty of people hosting dogs that have a couple living there and wfh etc so can be around for a dog with separation anxiety.

Mine have been getting randomly hidden too!

Message around your friends / nieces / nephews etc and explain the situation. Maybe one of them would be keen to house sit for a bit of money? Alternatively you can book a sitter through a pet sitting site but they can be expensive.

if neither of those options work and your mum is due home within a week or so I would tag team with your sister, one night one / one night off for each of you until your mum is home. Her cats will be ok without her for a night. And you will get rest.

and when staying there put your kids on blow up mattresses and you have the bed!!

Oh OP, the poor dog must be frantic without your Mum there. I've got an older cocker spaniel with severe SA, to the extent that he chews his tail when he gets distressed and I come home to a bloodbath. It's so traumatic for them to be left. And putting a dog like this into kennels would be cruel beyond words, shame on those suggesting it.

I would ring your Mum's vet and explain the situation. There may be another medication that they can add in on a temporary basis.

@EmptyTheFrickingBins -I am
sorry have no advice (my dog is super attached to me too), but I just want to say what a wonderful daughter you are. You’re mum will be able to get better knowing her beloved dog is being looked after.

My god OP ignore some of this ignorant posters. lucky them never having had to deal with this.

i feel for you as also have a dog with SA but luckily can be left with anyone just not alone. If cinnamon trust can’t help ask them for other ideas and also maybe try borrow my doggy / rover (appreciate the dog would need to get to know them but you can start it asap).

I don't have that sort of family unfortunately and most of my friends aren't close enough to help.

Thank God she should be home tomorrow if I can get her CPAP machine through to the hospital!

Does your mum not feel guilty though about this huge ask and the impact it’s having on you?

I can’t ever imagine expecting someone to sacrifice being in their own home (and have to sleep on an air-bed), as well as uprooting their children from their home too, jeopardise the stability of their own pet’s home life, and also expect that person to risk their own health just for the sake of my own pet?!

It’s madness.

What is your mum’s solution or does she expect you to just get on with it?

Oh good, looks like the end is in sight then, fingers crossed! Horrible sudden event to have to deal with, well done for ploughing through, your mum will be extremely grateful xx

What a horrible attitude to have! Her mum collapsed, obviously she didn’t know this was going to happen then or 11 years ago when she bought her puppy who turned out to be a nervous dog.

Some situations aren’t black or white. You have to get through them without throwing your toys out of the pram in the meantime…just as the OP has done.

OP please ignore the unhelpful posts. The dog is not just a bit sad, he’s eating his own body. Kennels could well kill him off at that age. Hopefully the charity can help but also put on Facebook and message people you know who might help. I took a very elderly dog in this kind of scenario to help out a friend.

So pleased to hear your mum is well enough to be home soon.
Can you try and get a couple of local dog sitters or teenagers or anyone to start visiting/walking the dog now so your have more options in the future?

It wasn't intended to be horrible - its just that OP had said she had no idea when her mum would be coming home. Hence why I was asking what her mum's view was as surely she wasn't expecting her daughter to continue with this indefinitely?

OP has clearly stated how miserable and untenable the situation is.

Of course OP's mother couldn't foresee an accident occuring but the fact this has now happened may mean that she now has to re-evaluate how things currently are because although OP hasn't explained the cause behind the fall, I assumed it was likely due to her mother's age and just generally becoming more infirm.

Therefore, if OP's mum's health is on the general decline (I'm assuming she isn't in the best health if she requires a CPAP machine) and there is a chance that a similar incident may happen or more hospital admissions may be likely in the future, then a Plan B has to be in place as it's not fair to expect OP to have to carry this burden each time.

So my mum is still in hospital because they're not happy with her kidneys now. No idea when she's coming home.

The Cinnamon Trust got back to me but are unable to help because they weren't previously registered and advised speaking to the duty social worker at the hospital.

Can't board him because I can't find his vaccination certificate and tbh I'm not even sure if they're up to date. Can't get him revaccinated because I can't afford it and don't have access to my parents' bank account.

My sister has refused to stay here because "she doesn't think she can sleep in a strange bed" so I am totally fucking fed up.

Hopefully though my dad is coming home (he's in a care home for rehab after a heart attack six weeks ago) this week so I might actually get to go home at some point!

Oh no - sorry to hear this ☹️ I hope your mum gets better soon, you must be exhausted.

Have you had a look at the Rover app for home boarders or sitters who will come to your house? You can filter area and type of dog care you need, and in our area there are lots of vet students and vet nurses who have experience of working with dogs and who are looking for a bit of extra cash - might be an option for you?

Unfortunately there's only a few in my area who do home visits and I haven't heard back from the ones I've contacted! It might sound stupid but I feel like I'm in jail with no way out.

Sorry to hear that ☹️ Don't suppose you're near Edinburgh, are you?

I'm not - Teesside area!