I don't know what to do - mum in hospital, dog with severe separation anxiety

[EmptyTheFrickingBins]

My mum collapsed at home on Tuesday and is currently in hospital. She's recovering well but I don't know when she's going to come home.

She has an 11 year old Jack Russell with severe separation anxiety. He isn't safe with cats so cannot come to my home.

I am currently staying at her house but it is unsustainable for much longer. I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room so my kids can have the bed. My cats are getting two visits daily but I'm concerned about leaving them for too much longer. I also have a chronic health condition that is being made much worse by the stress and poor quality sleep. My sister also has cats and he can't stay there either - we tried that last time. He jumped over a baby gate and grabbed one of the cats, resulting in the poor cat having a puncture wound that's still being treated.

Ideally I'd like to put him into home boarding for a couple of days to give myself a rest but I'm not sure how feasible it is - even on Xanax he gets frantic when left somewhere. (To the point he absolutely trashed my sister's kitchen when he stayed there.)

It's the only med that suitable for him due to a heart murmur per the vet. He has a thunder shirt which helps some, and we have tried DAP with little success. He only settles if there's someone he knows in the same room with him at all times.

I have contacted the Cinnamon Trust but don't know if anyone would be able to take him because of his behavior.

I genuinely have no idea what to do next - I'm miserable, my kids are miserable and I really just want to be in my own home!

Thank you!

Just leave the dog at your mums house, call in a few times a day to walk it etc.

If it gets sad then it gets sad, its a dog, not a person, you would never make 3 people miserable to make one person feel better, so why do it with a dog.

Omg what a nightmare. Poor thing. He needs to be in a crate or locked in a small room that's dog proofed! Maybe you bring him to yours in the day and take him back and leave him crated at night? Or vise versa, you hang out in your mums and then back to sleep in your own bed. You cant be dragging the kids around like this. Obviously he will be stressed but what can you do it should be temporary until your mum gets back. Take him to the vets and ask for their advice

Op from the replies to my post I get the impression that I’ve come across as trying to be nasty or goady, which I’m not. I absolutely adore animals, I have exotics and a small holding (along with lots of normal pets). But this situation to me is ridiculous. It’s nice you’re trying to be kind to the dog, but it’s coming at the expense of lots of other people, including your own children and animals. And I’m not sure what your desired outcome is for the dog. I’m looking at it objectively, and this is what I see- an unwell owner that’s going to be in hospital for an undetermined amount of time. Would it be unreasonable to say that further hospital stays are likely? Even that the hospital stay might not actually end? Or if the owner does come out they might still not be able to properly care for a dog? You have a mix of family members, some with children or unwell themselves, with other commitments, literally making themselves ill trying to care for this dog. And then the dog itself. The dog is elderly, extremely dangerous to other animals, living with high levels of stress and anguish. Cannot be left at all without severely self harming or destroying it’s environment. It’s very existence comes down to a choice to whether you’d prefer it to harm itself or others. I know what I think is the kindest thing to do the dog, I have a feeling you’re not going to agree though. I’ll put the question back to you. What IS the solution?

Totally
stick the damned thing in kennels and be done with it
never heard anything like this in all my life

Do kennels actually take dogs with this level of destructive behaviour though?

Harsh as it is, if your mum is no longer able to care for this elderly, extremely anxious and unhappy dog long term, there is really only one solution that is in the dog’s best interests. If her absence is a short term thing, you will
just have to find a way that least disrupts and only you know how long you’re willing to do that for. It doesn’t sound like there is another solution.

Have you tried the Cinnamon trust?
www.cinnamon.org.uk

You’re answering your own question really. The dog cannot be left alone for even minutes despite being drugged to the eyeballs, without ripping its own tail to shreds, never mind your house. Your answer to every potential solution is basically no, the dog cannot cope. It cannot be rehomed, left alone, caged, even sedated without causing havoc. There’s not a happy ever after for this miserable animal. Is your mum able to be approached about this? If I was told that the cost of keeping my unhappy animal alive was uprooting an entire family (or two), an unwell person sleeping on the floor which was making them even sicker, their own animals getting neglecting, while my dog gets drugged to stop it ripping at itself, I’d put the thing down myself

Yes. I'm waiting to hear back from them.

I can't kill my mum's beloved dog because he's inconveniencing me. He's absolutely fine when he's with her!

If anybody did that to my dog while I was in hospital I would never, ever forgive them. Do you honestly think killing the dog is suddenly going to solve all the problems and everyone is then stress free? Of course not, it would rip a family apart.

Honestly, OP some people are talking such rubbish and they clearly don't understand separation anxiety or love animals. I'm so sorry you're going through all this stress but you're doing a great job of trying to support everybody, including a beloved dog.

I'm afraid I'd be euthanasing it.

Kennels.

Try the Cinnamon Trust

kennels - you need to explain the situation but they have all temperaments of all dog there.

shredding beds is nothing unusual. My kennels would Just give it a plastic one and a blanket.

also buy a crate and train it.

we needed to “dog proof” without old dog.

Can you try a pet sitter? Somebody who can come to her house and watch the dog? There’s people who do it as their only job so they can be there all of the time.

Mind baffling
it’s a bloody dog - kennels Jesus !
honest to god i
despair…

Your cats will be fine with two visits a day.

Put your kids on the air mattress, sleep in your mum's bed.

Try https://www.oldies.org.uk/

They have experienced fosters who may be able to help.

Have you tried contacting Animal Aunts, they do house sitting amd have employees that are well trained for dogs with separation anxiety and all "aunts" are fully vetted, and leave your home clean and tidy (they even wash all the bed linen etc)

If there any young adults living with parents in your area who wouldn’t mind dog sitting for a nominal fee (to give them their own space for a bit)

Crate it, that way he won't be able to destroy the room he's in.

In nutshell - this.

Ok I've looked at the photos of the trashed house.. put it in a crate! Can't trash anything then, and the tend to be calmer once they get used to theor space. Put a blanket over it for darkness.. that's what we've always done when getting puppies.

He can't go in a crate because he goes nuts. He was abused as a puppy and spent the first months of his life shut in a crate which is why he's like he is.

And I'm not killing him just because he's inconveniencing me!!