Has anyone been to or experienced a direct crematorium funeral?

[JacknDiane]

I mean the most basic type of funeral you can have, where there's no service or cremation with friends or family involved, basically when you die you get cremated and your ashes get picked up by the family and its up to them what happens next.
I'm looking at costs and the basic one I've outlined above is much more affordable to us.
But I've never experienced anything other than a funeral where you go to the church/or funeral place and the coffin is cremated and music is played and family make speeches eg. attend...then afterwards you go somewhere like a local hotel for tea and sandwiches.

Im just wondering what happens with the most basic cremation if none of this stuff happens.

I know its completely up to the individual and what we can all afford, but I just wanted to hear from anyone who has experienced a basic cremation funeral direct eg. Not a gathering when the cremation took place.

Thank you.

I've been to a couple involving elderly relatives. The relative organised a room and food in a pub. The urn was on the bar. Flowers on the table. Lots of chatting from the small number of guests. Think the relative did a very small speech and everyone raised their glasses, and that was that. Nice and simple and seemed proper considering the circumstances.

A direct cremation is the cheapest option you can get. There is no funeral, no funeral directors, no mourners, no nothing.
You organise the cremation directly with the crematorium, they collect the body (which is most of the cost, and still comes in at around £600-£800).
Usually you aren't even told when the cremation will take place and no-one attends....they just cremate the body when there's a slot going spare that no-one's booked.
The ashes are collected together, no urn, usually in a cardboard box. Family members are messaged to come and collect the ashes, they won't deliver anywhere unless its charged extra. You are then free to disperse the ashes as you see fit.

This is very different from a simple cremation (eg. Pure Cremation-type pre-paid cremations) which are arranged with a company, a simple send off with no frills and ashes delivered. This will set you back anything around £1000-£1300+

My grandad ( who was estranged from the family) had this . I booked it online (I think it was literally called low cost funerals) the company arranged collection of the body, and the cremation . There was an option to have the ashes sent to us or they were scattered in a memorial garden near where the cremation took place. I can’t remember the price but I think it was hundreds not thousands.

A friend's mum had a direct cremation during lockdown, the family decided it was for the best as nobody was allowed to travel and the family didn't live near.
My friend had a direct cremation last month, as per her wishes.
Neither family organised any gathering afterwards, my friend's ashes were buried in her parents' grave.

We had this for my sister. Immediate family actually did attend the crem, but there was no service or ceremony. They did play music shed have liked though, which was lovely. We had a memorial/celebration of her life separately, which was a lovely occasion. The cremation was a respectful and private event, just without all the pomp and ceremony.

We’ve just done this for my dad, as was his choice. We went via a local funeral director who collected him from home when he died (terminal cancer but an unexpectedly quick death as he went downhill over the space of a week), I then had a meeting with the FD to sign paperwork etc. We then had a call to let us know his ashes were ready to collect, so collected them from the FD. We held a wake at his favourite restaurant with all his family and friends which again, is what he chose. Overall it was a very simple process and emotionally much easier for me and DM than a funeral.
I miss him so much but I’m glad we were able to follow his wishes at the end

You don't have to pre-pay to anyone - you can just let your family know or put it in your will that those are your wishes and then they can arrange for a direct cremation with no-one present via a local funeral director in the same way that a cremation with a funeral service would be arranged.

Or in the same way can pre-pay a company for a direct cremation or a funeral plan

We did this with my dad. they picked him up from the hospital, took him to the funeral home, cremated him when a slot became available and I went to pick up his ashes later from their local office. I could have paid extra to have them delivered to my house but their office wasn't far.

I did for dh, he was cremated at a local crem and delivered back to me within a month.

Ill be having one too.

I have attended a few ‘pure cremation’ type memorials. There is no cremation to attend obviously. But I have been to the equivalent of a wake instead. This has included a speech by someone important to the deceased, a photo presentation and food and drinks. A table with a significant photo, and a single floral tribute.
without a shadow of doubt, this has been a much less traumatic experience, not seeing a coffin made a huge difference, and the hurses, etc…..
also, the family can choose a day and time that’s suitable for them. I have been to one where the cremation hadn’t even took place!
obviously, it’s a very sensitive subject, but it’s better to have a discussion way before so as to get the persons own wishes adhered to

Couldn't agree with you more @Judeyoubigtwat

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and experience.

One thing im confused at is posters saying they had a direct cremation for a relative and still went to view the body or attend the cremation.

I wonder if there's a sort of halfway thing between a more traditional funeral and a direct cremation funeral?

Yes, its getting more and more popular.

I think that what posters are saying, that whilst the body is at the FD, you can go and say your goodbyes there - usually by appointment - and cost

With a direct cremation, there are no attendees

That’s not true. The cremation takes place in a crematorium, the same one as attended funerals. But there are no mourners in attendance. The funeral director books a slot either at the start or end of the day outwith regular hours and the unattended cremations are carried out then. I know this to be fact as my brother in law is a funeral conductor.

Yes, it’s just that it happens at hours that couldn’t reasonably be used for an attended cremation. Normal crematorium. No factory production line, unless you view ordinary crematoria as factory-like.

My mum did this. We saw her in the chapel of rest at the hospital. She then go cremated 7 days later. We got told time and date. Was 8:30 am. Think this was before the services started. Rest of family had a video call when it happened.

we received the ashes a day later. They are with my dad. When he goes we will mix them together and scatter them together.

we choose not to have any memorial. They had friends around the world and couldn’t think to organise logistics. We did have a celebration on my mums first anniversary.

I felt I missed out on closure. But not too sure I needed it now. I was glad not to organise anything when she died. It was simple and fuss free.

Yes I'm confused too. I thought you weren't allowed to do this?

A friend of mine died this year and his son arranged an "unattended" cremation. We were all sent a short video and it was very nicely done. There was a view of a coffin with a wreath and a portrait of the deceased. The video also played a somg of his choice. I believe it cost about £3000 and the son is paying it off on a payment plan. I believe you can have a cheaper version where there is no service at all and the funeral directors just pick up the dceased, take them to the cremation and bring you the ashes. What you are paying for (apart from the cremation fees) is for the funeral directors to handle all the formalities. People are free to have their own kind of memoral at a later date.

We did this but went and sat in the grounds of the crematorium to watch the hearse arrive and just be there.

Yep. Did this for both PIL. They weren't religious and it was much less visceral than looking at a coffin disappearing behind a curtain.
Would definitely choose this for myself.

My very good friend died from pancreatic cancer two years ago. She had a direct cremation. She also arranged beforehand for her body to go to the undertakers so that family could go to see her. This is an extra cost to just the direct cremation.
You pay for the direct cremation itself, and from what I understand from my friend, is that you can add other things on at extra cost if that is what you choose to do.

The cremation itself was done without anyone present. We all had a memorial service a few months later as per her wishes.

Is this right for all of them? I don't want to be taken to a chapel or have any classical music played, so where can I get the 'chucked in a factory crematorium' version?

Every Crematorium (in the UK, as far as I know) is attached to a chapel where traditional funerals are held. 'Unattended' (direct cremations) are usually carried out this way. Maybe speak to the funeral director and ask them if they have a 'back door policy ' where you get just chucked in the incinerator and avoid the Chapel, music etc 🤷‍♀️.