How do we know the extra welfare payments for multiple children will be spent on the children .

[hattie43]

A genuine question really . I don’t begrudge the children and I’ll save my irk for the parents but how do we know the extra money will be used to support the children in the right way giving them a better start and turning them into these honerable citizens. It worries me that the kids with feckless parents are going to be given much more money but the parents spend it on themselves not the kids . Just because these parents have more money doesn’t mean they’ll use it responsibly or change the attitudes they may pass down .

@january1244here is a link to them, I couldn’t edit my post. It’s for schools with a percentage of pupils on pupil premium over 35% (my children’s school, it’s a huge percentage of children on FSM, 65% according to ofsted).

https://www.magicbreakfast.com/what-we-do/our-work/

£300 a month is £3600 a year. That’s not an insignificant amount. £7,200 over 2 years. That’s a lot of money.

Surely it’s worth working for this amount?

Maybe not, when your mental state is in the gutter

These women have my compassion.

It seems really patronising to talk about low income women being so mentally drained by single motherhood that they can’t possibly work

Its probably someone other than the kids thats draining them.

Poor does not equal feckless. Most parents want to do the best by their children.

But that’s also pretty patronising - it’s not just low income single mothers with abusive ex’s. And it’s certainly not all of them either

It also prevents them dying or sustaining permanent brain damage from unscheduled withdrawals, though. Treating them as emergencies (and then providing residential care once it's too late) is vastly more expensive, even before you take into consideration costs to society in terms of theft or robbery to try to avoid that - or that the benefit entitlement is for medical and psychological issues, not the addiction itself.

Of course it doesn't apply to everyone, what I said... But maybe a big proportion...life is hard, and we can have compassion for those less fortunate in life

I got out of my abusive relationship 5 years ago. I'm still picking myself up. I'm just saying.

I’m sorry that happened to you

sadly I know women who work and earn very well who are also in the position of having an ex who wants to make their life as hard as possible. Just as with child neglect, I don’t think we can just assume a paternalistic approach to low income people

I wonder if that’s where the funding comes from for DS’s secondary - thry have free toast and porridge in the canteen every morning. It’s slightly annoying for us because DS has started swerving healthy breakfast home in favour of loading up with toast snd jam at school! But it’s great that it is there!

All the women (and men it takes two to tango) I know with 4+ kids expecting tax payer handouts started in their 20s or even 30s. I got pregnant at 15 gave birth at 16 and yes was on benefits but knew it would be taking the piss to have more children before I was financially better off so waited before having my younger two. I also lived in a house for teen mums when I was 16-18 and the other girls all had one kid at the time I see on facebook some have had more kids now too but they’re all financially in a better place now.

Worst I know is a woman in her forties with four kids by four men, she started in her early thirties I think and yeah you definitely wonder what the hell the forth man was thinking making himself the forth wheel in a 4x4 and now his child has to deal with all three of the older siblings having different fathers. I do agree with you that it’s unfair to say theses women are lazy seeing as kids are hard work and having to deal with four different “baby daddies” (yes cringey word to use) must be hard work too but you do definitely question what the hell people were thinking, I mean one or two times bad choices in partners fair enough but FOUR TIMES?

Its just weird for me because I haven't really encountered this

But yeah at 30 something I'm not going to have a baby to raise on benefits, that's crazy

Let’s face it. It will go on rent.

I think im still quite young compared to most mumssnetters? Still in my 20s? Apparently it was a thing in the 90s for teenage girls to get pregnant just for a council house (idk wasn’t alive just what I’ve seen people say online) when I was a teen mum in the 10s definitely wasn’t the case the waiting list is like ten years lol so IF anyone did that it would be a huge disappointment for them. The girls I lived with were quite responsible compared to what people expect. Seriously the only women with numerous kids on benefits I know are twice my age

Interesting

We don't know what parents will spend the extra cash on. I think the majority of parents will spend it on the kids but there are always a few who won't we can but hope pointless because a few would simply sell the vouchers for less than face value for cash.

Surely both is ideal, food vouchers maybe for parents

The almighty taxpayer will be happy to pay more for the costs involved in vouchers?

What is the modern profile of whose having larger families ? In my mum's day large Catholic families were very common. She was one of 7 and they lived in one of the poorest areas of the UK and yet she somehow got them music lessons and to grammar schools . They had to share beds and clothes of course
They had the same meals each day each week. They were all very well educated.

This was back in 1930s.

But it's not really a thing anymore is it ?

So who is having large families now ?
Two is the usual ? Three sometimes ?

But four ? Five ? Without being able to afford them?

I saw this incredible documentary a few years ago, about a primary school facing challenging child behavoir. They had a specialist team who worked hand in glove with the parents and the child to get a bespoke system that worked for the child.
So a child chucking stuff around and causing everyone issues including themselves was turned around ,happier and learning.

I just think if schools who have issues with behaviour like this could have this team rolled out we would see massive differences all around in society ?

Targeted specialist support would be a much better use of any extra money for children .

That is true. Even parents who have their children removed by social services usually love their children and want the best for them. Unfortunately many are unable to deliver on this.

My small snap shot of this life shows actually some parents are two self absorbed to care for whatever reason .
Addiction or very lonely and desperate for love.
One lady I know has a baby at 15 , there by the grace of god go I.
In mid twenties has three more married etc , two have major issues . Divorced late 30s just had her fourth in early 40 new man whose an addict.

I admire her bravery I have two and wonder if I'm present enough and supporting enough.

Others have many issues ,have kids and leave ones they don't want with aunts or grand parent.
Or care ,foster care ,social services etc.

Usually some Sen ,autism etc