New neighbour seems bothered by normal daily noise

[ManoharDash]

We got new neighbours recently and the woman has already mentioned a couple of times that she can hear us in the evenings. I’m honestly a bit confused because we are not loud at all. The kids are at school most of the day and evenings are just normal things like getting ready for bed or me doing a quick tidy.
She told me she hears “thumping” but it is literally just footsteps. I even said I could check if something’s loose on our floor, but she just said we should be more mindful. I do get that moving into a new place can make every noise feel bigger and maybe she is still adjusting, but I can’t keep the whole family silent.
I don’t want any drama with neighbours, I just want to understand how much I should be worrying about this. Is it normal teething issues when people first move in, or should I be doing something different?

Is it next door neighbour or below in a flat ? Equally annoying for you but just to ask the circumstances.

Ask if she can let you know when the noise is ongoing and if you could visit to try and hear what she is hearing. If it’s something you can rectify then it would be neighbourly to do so but if it’s just general living noise then she’s going to have to adjust and put up with it.
Hearing neighbours is normal in attached properties/flats although some people seem to
expect silence.

No. She should moved into a remote, detached property if she expects total silence.

DH and I went to view some new builds, they were occupied (I shouldn’t say to ‘view’ we were taking a stroll and being nosy lol). We could hear a kettle boiling, dog barking in the window, music, voices very clearly. I’ve been in them and spoke to people who have them and they’ve all said they’re quite noisy in terms of sound carrying. 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you’ve got wooden flooring and wear shoes or leather slippers they’ll be noisy too. If it’s just normal living there’s nothing you can do.

My friend was complaining about neighbour noise. I did not believe how bad it was till I was FaceTiming her. They were normal sounds but it sounded like they were stood next to her, before they moved in they had some renovations. DH reckons they removed a stud wall and fitted their new kitchen directly on to the adjoining wall.

I would ignore your neighbour!

We have this issue as previous owners next door built a downstairs bathroom directly onto the back of the lounge wall of our house. It’s been there years before we moved in but I didn’t realise the noise was so loud until we’d moved in. We can here their shower running and the flush being pulled as if it’s in our own home. Bloody annoying

She sounds like some neighbours of mine. Seems like the woman is new(er) to the country and is resentful about spending so much money on a house that would have bought something a lot bigger where she is from. As a result, she is passive aggressive to her direct neighbours, and probably her husband as well, about the noise from people living so close to her.

Did your previous neighbours have children? I would just ignore them it sounds like normal household noise.

My parents' next door neighbours have removed all the internal walls downstairs to create a big open plan space and it's so loud. You can hear every word and footstep they make from my parents house. They have three very loud kids and a shouty dad so it's made even worse.

From experience she is just quite gobsmacket that for the prices here you get the bonus of hearing neighbours like if they are your housemates.

I'd respond with positive noises saying that you're definitely mindful, whilst then not really worrying too much about it.
My view on noise is that if it's not detached and it's "normal living " noise then if it is bothering you, you have to insulate yourself. That's what I've done because I have noisy renters next door (who are young and carefree, unlike me!) So I spent a lot of money getting soundproofing on my adjoining wall to stop it annoying me.

Dont let her live rent free in your head and be worried.

Next time she complains, simply tell her to fuck the fuck off and go live on a mountain top if she cant handle normal day to day family "noises".

And thereafter, ignore her sorry existence.

Although she is being unreasonable, give it time. I say this as someone who moved into a new house that has walls as thin as paper and you can hear word for word next doors conversation. It took me a long time to get used to it and absolutely hated it at first - so much so, I resorted to whispering indoors as surely they could hear me if I could hear them! over time though, I've adjusted and my ears have tuned out the noise into a background hum. It's very odd though as the adjoining wall to the other neighbour is considerably thicker and I can't hear anything from that side!

Where on EARTH is your evidence for this?

Hilarious response 🤣🤣

Tbh OP, I think if you know you're not being unreasonably loud then I think you just need to ignore.

We had this from our (flat) neighbour about how loud we apparently closed our front door 🙈 We have a toddler so are never out late/having people over etc, and our child is out of the home every weekday until about 6pm, we would literally close the door when going out in the morning at about 8.15, so hardly unsociable hours. We told him we would try to bear it in mind but ultimately there is only so much you can do to placate some people. He also complained about us going into our own loft without letting him know first (twice a year, to get Christmas decs down and put them back!)

All you can do is be mindful but you are allowed to live normally inside your own home.

Oh yes, all those entitled immigrants who complain about our tiny houses…

Next time - just say - yes we can always hear you too. This is what living close to other people is like - I guess if you can’t cope with it you have to buy a detached in the middle of nowhere don’t you?

Yes how bloody racist . . .

Agree with @Thegreatbigzebraintheroom. Just benignly say, ‘Yes, we can hear you too. The joys of semi-detached living. Your DH would benefit from charcoal tablets, wouldn’t he?!’

It sounds like my parents old house. One knock through and a load of laminate, zero soft furnishings and they sounded like a group of clog dancers.

Unfortunately for them, my mother who was going deaf turned the telly volume up 🙄

Tbf lots of us do😂

If you truly are not noisy, then just do as others say and agree ‘oh yes we can hear you too.’ Whatever you do, do not stress, do not say anything about trying to keep it down etc. With these kinds of moany people you can’t pander to it or they’ll find more to whine about.

If you are just making normal day to day noise I would just carry on living as you are. Some people unreasonably want complete silence from their neighbours , and if they think they can control your behaviour they will keep making demands. It’s like a power trip. My neighbours are like it. It’s like they couldn’t afford to buy a detached house, but expect us to live as quiet as mice so they can pretend they are detached.

I live in a terrace. New neighbours put really cheap and nasty laminate, with plastic underlay on their floor and we have shared joists.
The result is indeed thumping, loud thumping on every single footstep. It can be felt through the floor too. I can also hear their conversations because the room is 'live' because they put half wood panelling on the wall too, as well as laminate floor.

I can't tell you, after 18hrs a day of it (family and a 3 y.o), running, playing, walking, how much it is affecting my mental health. Can't watch TV, can't read a book, deffo can't sleep when I want - my sleep pattern has to be the same as theirs. It's that bad, I don't think we can sell, which is what we have planned soon.

Do them a fav, put a carpet down, or if a thin carpet already there, an extra thick rug on top. Carpet is a 'sound eater'.