New neighbour seems bothered by normal daily noise

[ManoharDash]

We got new neighbours recently and the woman has already mentioned a couple of times that she can hear us in the evenings. I’m honestly a bit confused because we are not loud at all. The kids are at school most of the day and evenings are just normal things like getting ready for bed or me doing a quick tidy.
She told me she hears “thumping” but it is literally just footsteps. I even said I could check if something’s loose on our floor, but she just said we should be more mindful. I do get that moving into a new place can make every noise feel bigger and maybe she is still adjusting, but I can’t keep the whole family silent.
I don’t want any drama with neighbours, I just want to understand how much I should be worrying about this. Is it normal teething issues when people first move in, or should I be doing something different?

Why? If OP can do something to help her neighbour then that is a good thing.

We don't all go around sticking two fingers up to everyone.

😳

This IS the correct answer. There'll always be noise between adjoining properties. Your new neighbour has probably come from somewhere detached or an older style property with better sound proofing via thicker/brick walls etc. More modern properties aren't build so solidly, so sound will travel between them. As long as you're not shouting, practicing loud musical instruments, playing music/tv too loud, not bouncing your bed headboard against the party wall,etc., then you've nothing to worry about.

What soundproofing did you get? Also what sorts of noise was it to insulate from and has it been worthwhile?

Did it work?

Oh gawd I had one of these. Had noise issues with her previous neighbour so became hyper sensitive to any sound and expected everyone else to tip toe around and became the harasser herself, constantly on the doorstep complaining about absolutely nothing.

If you have just moved in to number 10, hi neighbour! And it's not you, it's them!

Is it a flat or a semi-detached? Maybe they can hear you moving around. My mum lives in a semi-bungalow and you can hear the neighbours kids going up and downstairs (they've got a loft conversion next door) but she'd never complain. However, it is noticeable. It's also normal noise. They don't go up and down constantly so it's just one of those things.

Honestly just ignore them. I'm sure our neighbours hear my DD screaming at 11pm when she wakes up with growing pains or whatever. They have teenagers so I try and keep our kids noise quiet in the mornings, don't let them out in the garden on a weekend before 9am and they are actually quiet in the evenings when our young kids are in bed.

We haf this with a neighbour when we first moved in to a semi detached 4 years ago. She kept reporting to the landlord that we made too much noise. Our house is actually very quiet, we never play music outloud etc, the loudest noise is probably the washing machine. Landlord just ignored her and after about 20 complaints I told her to piss off. She hasn't complained about noise since. I never hear any noise from her house so no idea how she would hear mine.

I did not see that one coming.. 😂😂😂

The advice given with noisy neighbours is always to make more noise at inconvenient hours to them

Who wants to live like this?

Don't ignore - you can always ask to go to her place to check what kind of noise, how bad it is, and see what you can do.

You might think she's bonkers, and there's no noise, or go "oh shit" because it's noisier than you think. Assuming is not helping anyone

I have a neighbour like this. It's like they listen out for any noise, and then project all the woes in their life on us. I've learnt to ignore, that way I avoid saying anything I regret. She has been very abusive. I've learnt that with some people it's not possible to have a constructive discussion.

We had new neighbours like yours. Had lived in our house for years with no moans from the previous two families on either side. We are not noisy , just a normal family. They were full of complaints, always complaining about doors shutting , people walking up stairs etc. They actually made me ill. I was forever telling my children not to sing and to move practically on tip toe.
We could hear them in the same way they could hear us because we live in a terrace but they failed to understand that.
I never retaliated because I didnt want dramas . But and they were so much noisier than us. Loud laughter and shouting when they had friends round.
I regret so much we didnt just live our lives ignoring their stupid requests and demands. And I should have been more retalitary. Luckily they moved after a couple of years.
Ignore and stand up for yourself is my advice.

I got a professional company in who basically put in an air gap along with sound proof plasterboard. I lost about 5cm to 7.5cm depending on the room and the level of sound insulation I was after. I put more in my bedroom for example. In terms of the noise, mostly neighbours watch TV and talk loudly and play some music. The issue was mostly because their living and kitchen area were on a different level so we had bedrooms that shared walls with their living space. I mean they also had parties and no amount of insulation stopped that noise !!
To answer the question posed by @changenameagain555, it was worth it but it doesn't 100pc stop the noise. It reduced it to tolerable. It went from a place where I could hear conversations non stop and now I can only occasionally hear loud shouts. Bear in mind our houses had absolutely nothing between us, literally plasterboard and breeze blocks. Very cheap build!!

So many arsey responses.

Take the neighbour at her word and ask her can you check the noise from her side. Then you can see if she's being reasonable or not.

Try being in her position. Most people don't complain for no reason.

Some neighbours complain for literally no reason and it's best not to indulge them. A previous neighbour asked me not to use the stairs after 10 pm. I told her not to speak to me again.

Everyone telling you to ignore her or be rude has clearly never experienced noisy neighbours! It can affect your health in a real negative way. What you might deem normal living noise might sound excessive next door to her? Do you have laminate flooring/ tv on wall/ kitchen/bathroom on party wall etc? Do dc slam doors, music playing in rooms late at night/ tvs on late? Shout from room to roon? Have pets? You should ask what it is and see what you can do op. Dont make someone’s life a misery being stubborn.

Shouldn't the OP actually see if there isn't a reason before blanket refusal?

There are two possibilities really. One is that she is reacting to normal everyday acceptable levels of noise. Or that for some reason things that sound normal to you are much louder for some reason next door (have had this previously when neighbours were doing DIY - a drill which is loudish in their house sounds like mine is falling down!). The best you can do is ask her to tell you when it is happening, go round and judge for yourself.

FWIW if you have kids and they dont, your house will sound noisy to her. My neighbours certainly make more noise than I do. But I moved in to a house with a family next door so it would be silly of me to expect silence. Its occasionally a pain, but mostly it does not bother me.

You need carpets and rugs if you have flooring it's like a herd of elephants above you.

Never give them your phone number or you will be regularly reprimanded for living.
Suggest she finds a detached house...

Only suggest a detached house if you are going to pay for it.

Tell them to fuck off that should do it and I'm not kidding if they moved to a semi obviously noise is expected i can hear next door hoover , do DIY,talk , music however were the noisier house and she's a primary teacher i constantly reiterate I'm not killing my kids 🤣 were not particularly noisy tbh but my 15yo gets on my tit's never mind the neighbours