Terrible restaurant meals

[Mysterian]

Went to a terrible restaurant today. I wanted potatoes and peas with my meal. The cook/waiter/owner gave me 2 potatoes with no plate. He expected me to just hold them one in each hand, no peas. I ate it all and left, but he came running after me to give me "chippies" and a drink of water. He repeated this another 5 or 6 times. "Chippies" and water. Again and again. Possibly my fault for eating at a place run by somebody under 2, but the main bit of the meal really concerned me. "Bird". He never got any more specific than just "bird". Bird, potatoes, lots of chippies and water.
It also seemed to be entirely imaginary, but that was possibly for the best due to the lack of hand washing facilities in his playhouse.

What's the worst meal you've eaten prepared by a nursery aged child?

Not my own child but one I met through my job. She proudly presented me with a Victoria sponge cake topped with bacon and with a side of baked beans. It was all incredibly plastic in texture as well.

I once got served a "cardi-coke" by a bartender that was suspiciously like bath water.

I was given a plate of pasta and a taco for breakfast this morning, with a side portion of onion.

working in early years I am lucky enough to be served such delights daily!

I forgot to mention that the bartender was naked..