What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

In general I arrive at my child’s school for pick up about 5 minutes before the playground gate is opened. Not on purpose, it just happens that sometimes the walk is quicker than others. Sometimes I’m the first one there, sometimes there are a few people in front, and others join the queue behind me.

One particular mum will turn up bang on collection time (fine) and just walk past the queue of people patiently waiting and stand right in front of the gate.
As if we aren’t all there for the same reason.

It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us, but so far haven’t said anything because I can’t be arsed with any playground drama, although yesterday I was tempted to side step in front of her just as the gate was open.

is this not just straight up rude behaviour?

Blimey, what a leap.

ill fully admit im the person who does this. in the mornings, i park the car, wait until its a couple of mins before the gates open, then get out and walk past everyone queuing to stand right by the gate with my daughter as thats where her friends normally are, we just go and join them

Why do you walk past the queue?

Because standing with your nose pressed up against a gate outside of a school would probably be considered a bit fucking weird...

Wait, people queue for first access to train doors?

Surely it's a 'grab space where you can find it' sort of situation? If someone's standing in front of the doors I won't move deliberately in front of them, but if you're on the platform before I arrived I wouldn't expect to let you on first. I'd just walk to the door when it stopped vaguely near me and get on? Have I been ignoring some sort of alighting etiquette?

Bus queues are totally different of course, and someone jumping to the front of those can lick my toe.

I'm sure CF school mum does not literally press her nose to the gate. It sounds like the just walks up to a gap and stands in it. But she sounds like the sort of self absorbed sort who wouldn't notice or care if someone thought she was "a bit fucking weird" anyway.

Read the post you're replying to again...

Standard ettiquette is to let people off the train first.

When you're waiting for people to get off the train first and some johnny come lately barges past you and all the people trying to get off, that's what they're talking about.

Ohh yeah no I get it now. Yeah that's annoying.

I see what you mean. Yes i think if someone is standing higgeldy piggeldy on the platform fair enough, no one would know if they were waiting for a particular train or the next one or just hanging around like a weirdo. But if they've positioned themselves immediately to the side of the markings that show where the doors will open, yes, I think it's very rude when someone weaves in front of you and barges through the alighting passengers.

Are you Turkish by any chance? There is a total dearth of any kind of waiting/queuing etiquette there. It was a total shock to the system when getting the tram. I had to learn to just barge like the best of them while I was in Istanbul.

Wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference doing any queueing back in the day when mine where at primary, in fact I could have strolled up twenty mins after the bell ( I frequently did) and they would still be floating around trying to locate a vital piece of whatever bit of plastic/thingy they were fixated on that day😂

If you don’t queue then you’re blocking the street with hordes of people at pick up time at a lot of schools. Orderly queue along the pavement and the rest of the world can still walk down the street between 3 and 3:30.

Nope, not Turkish, just take trains in and out of London most days. There's no queuing in my experience. Everyone kind of just huddles vaguely on the platform, moving to the nearest set of doors when the train arrives and letting people off - then all filing on in no particular order.

Can be brutal on rush-hour trains with limited seating, you have to use your elbows and get right in there.

You should wait your turn for the train/tube too. I always let those who were there first on first. Regular commuters know where the train stops so they can get on, on that particular carriage. There’s even travel apps that tell you which door to get on so you get off at the best exit spot for your stop. I do find it odd when people just rock up and push their way on without considering those who were there first.

Yes I agree with this. You are queuing for absolutely no reason. She thinks you are doing being silly so she is doing her own thing. I would think the same. Why are you queuing? Do you queue early when you go on plane also?

Look, I love queuing as much as the next British person, but this is not a queuing situation.

The misunderstanding seems to come from the fact that you see yourself as first in the “queue”, but you are simply at the front of a group of people gathered around a gate.

The queue etique does not apply.

thats where her friends always are. and if im honest, because i can. im not about standing in a queue, that outside our school gates is completely unnecessary as there is enough room, and completely pointless to actually gettting your child through them just because we seem to really love to make queues in this country. as soon as the gate opens it becomes a free for all anyway.

@WeNeedToTalkAboutIT

I’m curious to know if it’s one at a time how does she get to the front of the queue? Does she just stand there while everyone in the queue files through one by one? Someone must allow her to go in front of them if that’s not the case.

Because it's a fake queue full of idiots making up stupid rules.

This is why I hate school pick up - I'm usually the one panic running in and out of school though so I'd never be early enough to queue and get upset at someone for queue jumping a not queue queue. Life is too short.

Was there a geniune reason for being frequently late, all that is a different matter entirely. People who stroll up late thinking their time is more important that everyone else's is worse than the queue jumping.

huh?

no one is filing through - the gate isn’t open yet, that’s what we are all waiting for.

so there’s a line of people queuing, not a huge amount, probably around 20, and she will walk past them all and stand directly in front of the still closed gate. The person at the front of the queue will have left like a metre between them and the single width gate, because who is going to stand right up against a gate? Well, except for her when she turns up, of course.
this is the back/top entrance to the playground, not the main entrance so it’s not overly busy. And it’s as the very end of a small residential street, so there’s no worries about the queue preventing non pick up people from walking past, or the people waiting spilling out on to the road or anything, and it’s a very clear and orderly queue of people waiting for the gate to open.
she will walk down the road, and past everyone else waiting, to stand and wait in the small space the first person (who doesn’t want to be eyeball to eyeball with a gate) has left.

I don't get it, if you are fies tin the queue how does she get to the front? Are you leaving a massive gap for her to get in front of you?

Except it's not a queue, because it's absolutely pointless and inefficient. If you all want to make a fake queue for no reason then go ahead. But no one is obliged to join your queue and wait behind you in a line for no reason. Maybe she has lived in London and is just more efficient than you.

I'm amazed at how many times you've had to explain the queue on this thread. So many people deciding it isn't a real queue because people aren't shoved up against the gate.

It's rude, the last minute collector skipping to the top of the line is rude.

Who knows why they do it, do they lack an understanding of how rude their behaviour is? Do they think they are entitled to skip ahead of everyone else? Are they anxious not to be late as their child always gets out early?

You probably won't find out the reason but I can understand how irritating this would be. You could choose to skip to the front yourself when you see them coming but if they lack that much self awareness, you might find that they ask you to step aside as they need to get past you to get in the gate.

It was a lighthearted joke and me fondly remembering the school pick ups and all the drama that went with them and seemed so important at the time.
I didn't think I would have to defend my primary school parenting pick up behaviour on Mumsnet all these years later though😂