I pay for coffee, who gets the loyalty stamp?

[verybighouseinthecountry]

Sorry for very pathetic question, but I'm doubting myself and just want to know if I'm out of touch and potentially committing a faux pas here.
I have an older friend (60+) who is very likely on the spectrum and does some "off" things that doesn't really bother me as I'm used to her. One of them is when I buy us a coffee, she'll insist on getting 'her' loyalty stamp. (She will always say she'll get us coffee next time but rarely does). I thought this is just her being socially unaware, I would never dream of asking for 'perks' that someone else paid for. All fine. But recently I took someone else out for coffee, I ordered and she sat down, but then ran over to the till when I was getting the loyalty stamp and said "did you get both stamps?!" as if I was a complete CF. Please tell me if stamps are individual, or is the usual etiquette the one who pays gets the stamps?
I'm very aware in the grand scheme of things this isn't a big issue, but I've been robbed of so many stamps if the done thing is to 'split' the stamps I need to know!

I’ve never heard of two adults being that bothered by loyalty stamps so have never come across this issue before! But I would assume the person who pays gets the stamps.

Whoever pays gets the stamps. May this kind of friendship never find me. It’s weird she insists on getting her stamp. Tell her to pay for her own coffee if she’d like the stamp

@verybighouseinthecountry you have some strange friends.

It seems an incredibly trivial thing to argue about.

I can't say I've ever given it any thought, but the person who pays generally has their loyalty card out so collects the stamps

the stamps are for purchasing a drink, not for drinking

tell them when they pay, they can have the stamps!

I have form for attracting CFs, which is something that I'm trying to work on. I don't get out for coffee much so no experience with the stamp issue, so when I had two people being very insistent on getting 'their' stamp I thought I must have missed a new rule in civil society!

The person laying gets the stamp/loyalty points. Unless they don't have the necessary card/app, then they may kindly donate it to the other person.

Person who pays gets the stamps. As above, it’s a reward for purchasing a drink, not for drinking it!

'Its a reward for purchasing, not for drinking" is going to be my new catchphrase. I'm very relieved I'm not stuck in the loyalty stamps dark ages. And yes, every day I ask myself why I'm surrounded by the people I am and pay for their coffee too!

If you pay for it, you get the stamp. Would she insist on using her nectar card to collect the points in Sainsbury's if you did her shop for her? She's being silly.

You paid, you get the stamp(s).

Of course it’s the person paying who gets the stamps. Tell them to buy their own!

Always the payer.

If you are paying you get the stamps. She can have the stamps when she pays. Stand your ground when you pay,

With friends I regularly have coffee with we have a joint card and whoever is getting the coffees takes it to be stamped - that way we get our free coffee much quicker.
But generally I would say whoever pays should get the stamp.

But who gets to drink the free one? Or do you take it in turns to pass it round for a sip?

Whoever pays gets the stamps never heard of anyone asking for their stamp. Bizarre behaviour.

I can't say its ever come up but you would get the stamps. It's a loyalty card. You are being loyal with your money.

Payer gets the stamp. I’ve also bought coffee before for people and not had anything to stamp personally and so they’ve asked very politely if they can get the stamp. That is good stamp etiquette in my book. The reverse is CFery.

I work in a coffee shop. It's always the person who buys the drinks that gets the stamps. Always. And no-one has expected it to be any different.

I’ve never thought about this before but I agree with those who say the person purchasing gets the stamp - unless you are like me who always forgets or loses the card so asks the person I’m with if they have their card.

My best friend and I could argue for 10 minutes trying to give a perk to the other one. I wouldn’t waste my breath on an argument the other way around. I might not waste my time on that person either, unless they had some major redeeming qualities.

The person who pays gets the stamps.

Haha, no just whoever is getting that round will get it a bit cheaper. It all works out in the end because everyone takes their turn.

Absolutely not OP. You must have a sign attached to you saying CFers this way 😹. I would never in my life be so wild about getting a stamp if my friend was paying. Me and all my friends do whoever pays gets the reward.