I pay for coffee, who gets the loyalty stamp?

[verybighouseinthecountry]

Sorry for very pathetic question, but I'm doubting myself and just want to know if I'm out of touch and potentially committing a faux pas here.
I have an older friend (60+) who is very likely on the spectrum and does some "off" things that doesn't really bother me as I'm used to her. One of them is when I buy us a coffee, she'll insist on getting 'her' loyalty stamp. (She will always say she'll get us coffee next time but rarely does). I thought this is just her being socially unaware, I would never dream of asking for 'perks' that someone else paid for. All fine. But recently I took someone else out for coffee, I ordered and she sat down, but then ran over to the till when I was getting the loyalty stamp and said "did you get both stamps?!" as if I was a complete CF. Please tell me if stamps are individual, or is the usual etiquette the one who pays gets the stamps?
I'm very aware in the grand scheme of things this isn't a big issue, but I've been robbed of so many stamps if the done thing is to 'split' the stamps I need to know!

I’d suggest you all pay for your own moving forward.

The person who pays definitely gets the stamps unless they have forgotten their card/can't use the app etc, in which case the friend gets them so that they don't go to waste.

Whoever pays gets the stamps.

or find yourself a friend like mine who can’t be arsed with all the loyalty cards so I get them all on mine every time 🤣

So you’ll be sure to tell her to pay for you once in a while then?

Whoever pays gets the stamp!

You have some weird friends, that this has even come up not once, but with two different people.

Whoever is paying would get the stamp(s) on their card.

The exception might be if you are somewhere you don't generally go (say you are visiting your friend in a different town) and they have a card and you don't, in which case they might as well have the stamps on their card as you won't ever build up enough for the free coffee.

I have a Costa card. I don't think you can get one anymore. App only now.
And I do like cafes that give you a little card that they stamp.

But yep, if I didn't have a card then someone else is welcome to the stamps.

The only time I would give my loyalty card to a friend who was paying for me would be if they didn't have one themselves and had no interest in getting one.

This should go on the cheapest behaviour thread.

Do you have your own stamp card thing

This

Payer as everyone else says, but don't get distracted by that.

Better than arguing about the stamps would be "Gloria, it's your turn isn't it?" in a clear and neutral voice.

(then watch her claim both the stamps for herself!)

Stop paying for people's drinks. Presumably, they have money? They sound like takers.

ask myself why I'm surrounded by the people I am and pay for their coffee too!

It is because you pay for their coffees.

Whoever pays gets the stamps! Apart from places where perhaps only one of you have a loyalty card so that person can collect the stamps instead. I go Costa with mum for instance and as she doesn't have a loyalty card there, I get the added bonus of the stamps even when she pays.

or your Boots points. Payer gets the stamp. If she paid watch who gets the stamp. You are funding her albeit for a small amount.

I can imagine my mum running over to the till to check I'd got both stamps - not because she would be expecting to get one herself, but because she doesn't trust me to be as canny as she is and thinks people are out to rip us off 🤨

I do bait her though. If we're somewhere doing something like coffee and cake for £6, she'll invariably check I got the offer at the till. "No, it was £15, but I didn't want to cause a fuss." It's too easy, I should stop really.

Eta - I forgot the question. Whoever pays gets the stamp.

It's funny because friend 1 always says she'll get the coffee next time, but never actually insists. One time she said "let me get this time" and I said yes please!. As we got to the till she turned around to me and said "let's just pay for ourselves, shall we?". I just inwardly rolled my eyes as she isn't short of money, but as I said lacks social awareness. Friend 2 always has money problems, so now I think about it, she needs 'her' stamp as the free coffee probably means a lot. I don't care about the stamps, I was just worried that I was doing it wrong and becoming a CF.

The person who pays, but if payer doesn’t have a card, then it’s okay for other person to receive them.

Anyone who tried to take points I'd paid for would get pretty short shrift from me.

The only time someone takes the stamp when I’m paying is my dd!. Of course you take it!

If you buy the coffee you get the stamps. Stop buying these CF’s coffee.

Next time you go out, either say “I think it’s your turn to pay isn’t it Julie?” Or “let’s just pay for our own drinks this time”. Stop letting people walk over you.

@verybighouseinthecountry

One CF (coffee fucker) friend may be regarded as misfortune; to have two looks like weakness…

I’m saying that as someone who is often told they are “too kind”, “too generous” and non-confrontational. The fact you are noticing and questioning it is great - you’re correct, it’s not on! Please stop: they’re getting not only a round of drinks but free stamps out of you!

Tell friend 1 this - stamps are for purchasing a drink, not drinking it.

If friend 2 has money issues then it's very kind if you donate the point to her instead. Thats at your discretion though.