Cheapest thing a person has ever done

[Unorganisedchaos2]

Inspired by the children's birthday party thread, Im sure this has been done so many times but humor me as Im stuck at home with a poorly DD...

Our family once knew a couple who were convinced that the baby they were due to have shouldn't cost them any more than the family allowance and a grant I believe you used to get in the early 2000's. Some of the things they did:

• Commented that it had worked out well that the baby was born 2 months prem as they had been able to claim family allowance but he hadn't cost them anything yet as the hospital were providing nappies, milk etc.
• Refused to visit the baby until the hospital had issued a free parking pass then only visited 3 times a week because they were tired and as it was a 30 minute it was already costing a lot in petrol.
• Did a separate food shop for him of all supermarket own brand food and £1 meals, she actually had "his money" in one of those money bags the bank used and made the checkout person run it through as two separate shops.
• Spent hours in charity shops buying up the next few years with of clothes for him, at his second birthday they were asking us to buy clothes for 7-8 year old.
• Asked my mum to register as a childminder so they could claim childcare but expected my mum to do it for free (not honestly sure how that was ever going to work out)
• Not child related but he refused to drive above 50 MPH because he believed it was uneconomical, even if he was late for work or holding up a queue of traffic.

Exactly! I hate to think I was judged when I was in isolation at another hospital. My baby was returned to my hospital, 5 days after his birth but I remained in isolated so wasn’t in Special Care! The nurses wheeled baby down to me so I could peer through my closed door window, to see my baby in the clear cot. It was another 5 days before I was given the all clear to move to Special Care with my baby!

My parents were exceedingly tight - or frugal as they called it. Family allowance was 8 shillings a week back then. My parents made sure that not one penny more was spent on me. I never had meat or fish until I went to school as it was ‘too expensive for ugly children’. I thought that I was a leapling (29th Feb) and I got a present when I was 4, 8, 12 & 16. After I left home at 16 and 4 and a bit months, I discovered that I was not born in February at all. I also discovered that I was adopted.
Looking at pictures, from my childhood, I was way too skinny.

Their other daughter, my younger sister, not adopted, was not treated the same. she was the golden child and had whatever she wanted.
When I left home, at 16 years and 4 and a bit months, I went NC and never looked back.
I ignored the letter, that my parents sent me, requesting that I set up a standing order to send them £120 a month To repay them for my upbringing. I ignored the subsequent letters too.

Are you kidding? Giving your own child vouchers for their birthday that you only came by because of their DH’s toil on your behalf? You can’t see how that’s stingy in spirit? If not technically monetarily?

I think for some people money = safety. My DSIL has no kids, a retired husband with a good pension, is still working at a v highly paid job so will retire with an excellent pension, in a mortgage free house. They have lived there 30+ years and have only had minor work done on the bathroom once and replaced the kitchen with an ex display one (all about 25 years ago). They still have the same furniture, threadbare curtains and carpet and dingy paintwork. So while they can afford to really make the place nice, they don't, and they don't spend their money on anything apart from going to the pub and the occasional long haul holiday. Which is of course up to them and their choice, but my poor DSIL has a traumatic past and OCD (triple checking locks etc) so I really believe that her iron grip on spending is to do with security.

This is too sad. I am so sorry.

Ah, this reminded me. A friend from uni stopped by on his way somewhere with his young son. Shortly before they left he said he'd forgotten to bring travel sickness pills for his son and did I happen to have any. I had a full pack in the medicine cabinet and happily pulled them out. We carried on chatting and then they left. After they'd gone I realised friend had pocketed the full pack instead of taking a couple out for his son as I had assumed he would. I was actually gobsmacked.

I texted him later to say oi, you weren't meant to take the whole pack. I thought he'd done it absentmindedly by mistake but he replied "oh you should have said". It was quite deliberate, the CF!

Some people seem to think of you've got something lying around it's "free", ignoring the fact you had to pay for it in the first place.

@ilovecardigans that's very sad, but I think not unusual. A boy that my DS used to go to school with was taken into care in extremely difficult circumstances early in life, and was adopted by a gorgeous family. Food had been scarce for him and he prioritised his younger sibling when it was available. He recovered so well from the trauma, but it was heartbreaking to see him at kids' parties, trying to fill his pockets without anyone noticing, while the other kids just stuffed their faces obliviously.

They would have had to have posted them @nomas and I was rising above it, but it was a lesson learnt about that particular person

This is heartbreaking. I hope your life has been happy since you got away from those people who do not deserve to be called parents.

100%, they get their little ‘buzz’ of getting something for v little or even better free. My sil is a prime example of this

For some people, I imagine the idea that it's illicit gives them an extra thrill.

I think some older folks, those who lived through WW2 ( not many left now) and those who were around when post war rationing was still a thing, still have the mindset that money is scarce and mustn't be wasted.
My parents grew up in WW2 , we didnt have much money and nothing was to be wasted.
It was basically get what you're given and like it.
I think we could learn a lot from the wartime generation tbh

I had deal with a friend that our family would go to them for supper but I would provide the food. So eight individual pizzas, two garlic bread, salad. I was volunteering for something so was late. I got there and there was half a pizza kept aside for me. I assumed someone had been greedy. The husband told me the next day they had a pizza left over they were going to have for tea! That was MY supper. They oculd have kept leftovers if there were any - but there wouldn't have been.

There are some examples of shocking and cruel cheapness on here, but I’m also shocked at how people see reusing reusable things as mean. Well-looked after wrapping paper makes me really sad when it gets screwed up and binned when it could easily wrap another smaller gift later on. As for one poster being horrified at someone dressing their kids in their own childhood clothes - what’s wrong with that? Stuff was much better made then, and my nephews, nieces and my own kids have all worn plenty of items from the wardrobes of my sisters and me.

There’s meanness and there’s good sense, but I suppose the point of this thread is that few can agree exactly where the line is.

No. I can't see that as stingy. Either way the giver is giving up £50 worth of assets. It's the same. Of course, she could have kept the vouchers, bought a nice £45 jumper (that the other person might not have liked) and been £5 better off. In your view, would that be preferable? And if so, why?

I was at university in the days wheree you went through a landline phonebill with a highlighter to work out who owed what. Then split the 'joint' or unknown calls.

One housemate refused to pay her 2p of a split 10p phone call to the cinema because she didn't come with us. I mean, fair enough she didn't but still...!

It’s just so judgemental. My siblings (twins) were born prematurely and spent a good few months in hospital while my poor mum had nurses patronisingly telling her that she really needed to be there with them all day, every day. Just assuming that she couldn’t be bothered, or that she didn’t want to fork out for the bus fare. Not a clue. It makes me so cross.

I used to have a group of friends from work, and we used to go out for dinner sometimes. There was a new man who joined the team. We asked him to come with us. He wouldn’t order any food, he said he would eat whatever people left as people always left food. Oh and he ate the (free) bread. He earned the same as us, so not sure why he was so cheap. Anyway, he didn’t come out with us again as he didn’t get enough to eat, apparently!

A friend of mine recently threw a party for her OH's big / special birthday. Asked for numbers, specified no children, so had to get childcare for the occasion.
She said that food won't be provided, but the pub does food so feel free to book a table to eat there.
It wasn't a party... It was literally just everyone come to the pub!
Not even booked a function room, or provided a few nibbles.

This is a couple who are absolutely not short of money, but are just so ridiculously stingy it's unbelievable! Nothing is worth doing unless it's free, which is a bit of a shame.

She never does any favours without a price - even for close friends. It's bring a bottle of wine, or bring some lunch - for things I'd happily do for a friend just for the company. It's so sad really as it makes it feel like everything is a transaction!

This is heartbreaking.

I hope you are okay now

Ime, those who are the meanest are also the richest. I cannot stand meanness. In my poverty stricken days ( not enough money for food or nappies, tg they are over), those who were kind and supportive had very little themselves.
As I always say, when rich mean people die, they will have lots of 000000s at the end of their bank account.

I worked with a woman who was notoriously tight fisted. I'll call her Linda.
In the run up to Christmas one year, one of my friends (also a mutual colleague) went shopping with her (she told me this tale).
They were in a shop and Linda was looking for some aftershave for her dad (who was ill at the time, potentially terminally, so she'd told us).
The lady on the perfume/aftershave counter suggested various brands, whereupon Linda announced "Well l don't want to spend too much. I don't know how long he's going to last."
My friend was so disgusted and shocked she walked out of the shop.
We'd known Linda was mean, but that was just beyond it.

*FeatheryFlorence *
Are you in the North East, and is he called Paul, by any chance?

DF received am obvious regift unwanted raffle prize from her MIL last year for Christmas (imperial leather type gift type box) was seriously upset about how cheap / nasty it was. Two months later I received it as a birthday gift from DF. For her birthday I got her flowers and regifted it back with a jokey message around not getting rid of it so easily & how we could make it a tradition.

Had a birthday & Christmas list for her daughter but not really spoken much this year 🤣🤣

@WiggyWiggyImGettingJiggy

I am furious for you.

I am so sorry for your loss.