Cheapest thing a person has ever done

[Unorganisedchaos2]

Inspired by the children's birthday party thread, Im sure this has been done so many times but humor me as Im stuck at home with a poorly DD...

Our family once knew a couple who were convinced that the baby they were due to have shouldn't cost them any more than the family allowance and a grant I believe you used to get in the early 2000's. Some of the things they did:

• Commented that it had worked out well that the baby was born 2 months prem as they had been able to claim family allowance but he hadn't cost them anything yet as the hospital were providing nappies, milk etc.
• Refused to visit the baby until the hospital had issued a free parking pass then only visited 3 times a week because they were tired and as it was a 30 minute it was already costing a lot in petrol.
• Did a separate food shop for him of all supermarket own brand food and £1 meals, she actually had "his money" in one of those money bags the bank used and made the checkout person run it through as two separate shops.
• Spent hours in charity shops buying up the next few years with of clothes for him, at his second birthday they were asking us to buy clothes for 7-8 year old.
• Asked my mum to register as a childminder so they could claim childcare but expected my mum to do it for free (not honestly sure how that was ever going to work out)
• Not child related but he refused to drive above 50 MPH because he believed it was uneconomical, even if he was late for work or holding up a queue of traffic.

It's the fact that they value their own mental energy so extremely cheaply.

Yes, I know it only takes a fraction of a second to physically turn off a wiper and then turn it on again; but for me, it's two additional tasks to add to my mental to-do list that otherwise would have taken care of themselves automatically!

I agree that the match one was just silly and would probably end up costing more! But I can understand it to some degree. We are being persuaded to spend money all the time and made to feel that our lives would be so much better if we had the latest gadget and this miracle cream and that magic ingredient. There is a certain pleasure in feeling that you've outwitted those pressures and managed to hang on to your money.

We went to a wedding at the bride's (very wealthy) parent's home/mansion, they didn't have a wedding meal or tables to sit at. We all stood for hours as waiting staff topped up fizz and brought out a few canapes. Many of us were staying in the nearby village and we trogged along starving to the local pub afterwards to get something to eat - the pub did a roaring trade that night!

Edited as just remembered that the cake was wheeled out for the speeches and then wheeled away again and they didn't hand any out!

Gawd. For some reason, people who are genuinely on a budget often have really nice weddings with good food, because they've bothered to spend on the guests not themselves.

My then friend charged me for a tampon. My time of the month came unexpectedly while we were out, fortunately she had a spare to give me, and when I came out of the loo, she had calculated the price of the single tampon dividing the price of the box by the amount of tampons in there, and asked me to pay for it.
I was really stunned.
I have helped other women in similar situations, and this is the thing I would never ever think to charge for, how do you even...

I've just remembered another example. The difference being this was a late primary school aged DC. I can only imagine how skinflint her DPs were. She'd turn off lights in a room I was sitting in, which in itself I found a little odd.

The sad thing was the amount of effort this child (aged 9/10) put into not only what appeared tight, but also ensuring she extracted the maximum amount out of every situation I was paying for. It was exhausting to watch. It can only have been learned behaviour.

A couple of examples... she'd spend absolutely ages poring over an ice lolly freezer in a shop or sweet display to get the most expensive item, each and every time. It was the same when I took her anywhere. Her parents both had well-paying jobs in the North, so not poor by any stretch. They holidayed in Japan every year.

One day her DM caught me on the school run saying DC had left something in my car boot when she'd been on a play date a couple of days before. It was a fair walk to the car, for half a packet of (bog standard Walker's) crisps.

@pinkstripeycat My late father's family lived through real, grinding poverty in north east England during the depression (pre WW2). So many stories to recount. His father used to go out poaching rabbits at night so that they'd have meat on the table and walking home through the fields in the early hours, he'd stop and milk the farmer's cows and take the milk home in a small pail for the family.

One of my husband's elderly relatives was a Japanese prisoner of war in one of the hideous camps. Many starved and died, he managed to survive. He never spoke about his ordeal, but apparently at mealtimes he would surreptitiously slip food into his pockets. Can you imagine? That poor, dear man. 😢

My notoriously tight mother had an issue with an new appliance from a well known high street store, but their follow up service was very poor, so DH took charge and finally got it sorted after numerous calls/emails and ultimately threats of legal action which took a lot of his time. The retailer eventually sent £50 in vouchers as compensation.

The next month was my birthday, so she put the same vouchers in my card as my gift.

I'm writing this somewhat guiltily, but a long-standing friend has become increasingly cheap despite being financially very well-off. Sadly she was recently widowed and her husband undoubtedly had much the same characteristics. We recently met in town for a coffee (no way would she splash out on a lunch!). She WALKED the 3 miles to town and 3 miles back to save £4 on bus fares ... in a storm with severe weather warnings. She is sitting on a few millions in assets. And her entire conversation revolves around money, and not spending it. I am starting to struggle with seeing her because it is so obsessive and one-sided.

Wow @twoblackdogs ! Incredibly mean.

I had an overnight visitor who started her period early so asked if I could help. I happened to have night time towels (from post birth), another pack of sanitary towels and a box of tampons which I handed over. Next day I realised she'd taken all three packs off with her and was a bit 🤨

I don't see that as tight though. £50, in vouchers or otherwise, is quite a generous gift in my view.

Yes, I don't see a problem with that.

This is what I was getting at earlier. For some people, it goes far beyond liking a bargain or being mindful and making decent savings when practical; it actually becomes their whole identity.

Their entire life is consumed by making endless needless sacrifices, repeatedly putting themselves out, going without and having a much less enjoyable life to save a pound or two here - effectively making themselves and their lives a tool for money to use rather than the other way around - until eventually they die; and the money is still there, unused and piled up in their bank account, and it's too late for them to gain any benefit from it... so they're no better off in real terms than a pauper who has always known their lot in life and just got on with it as best they can.

The thing is, that these people are often incredibly thick skinned.

I'm the kind of person who can't keep my mouth shut so I usually do say something. And usually they do grudgingly agree on that specific occasion. But then they are back to their old ways 10 minutes later.

I would be absolutely mortified if someone had to say to me that I wasn't contributing equally or was taking advantage of others financially and would be making sure I never let it happen again. But some people really don't feel any embarrassment at all, and telling them might save you the 78p they are insisting you pay them right now, but will not improve their personalities long term.

You have to decide if they are worth having in your life or not and whilst it's incredibly annoying it's rarely a NC matter imo.

Yes, it's a strange one. If these people are thick skinned, there's maybe no point.

I don’t like spending time with people like this. It can be rather boring as money- saving it, not spending it, maybe claiming poverty as well - can be the main topic of conversation..

My mum is exceedingly generous in many ways, but has some strange "cheap" habits.
She'll never use a full tissue. She'll rip them in half, and use half at a time. Growing up, there was something about seeing that mangled, scrunched up half-tissue in the box that used to give me the rage.
She re-uses wrapping paper. She'll open gifts really carefully, pick off the sellotape, fold the paper and re-use it next year!
She also re-uses gift tags! They were free in the first place, because they came from cut-up Christmas cards, but the same ones have been doing the rounds for probably 10 years now!

Like this one? It's triggering my trypophobia . £272 for this one, you could get sell them for good money.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/336267225723?chn=ps&_ul=GB&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&google_free_listing_action=view_item

That blows my mind, how on earth could they enjoy drinking it knowing they had nicked it?

My brother had sil are tight cfs (I could write a book on their stunts)

They spend,spend,spend on themselves but are tighter than ducks arses on everyone else-they are (or where) 40k+ in debt due to their spending habits and will try to get anyone to pay their way,no matter how small (she once tried to get me to give her £10 for babysitting-i was nipping to the corner shop for milk-i would have been 5 minutes)

My father is downright tight (someone once short changed him in a shop by 2p and he was still moaning years laterl

My mother is a millionaire narcissist who's always looking to get one over on someone else

If she can squeeze a penny out of you,she will

Anyway,bro and sil where using the top package with sky (I'm talking every single channel they did,plus wifi) and sky where doing some promotion where if you referred someone to sign up,they'd send you £50 worth of vouchers (m&s I think)

My mother signed up via them

The row that broke out over those vouchers! (I would have just split them-£25 each)

Both parties tried to claim them and it caused a family rift for a few years-we where expected to take sides and stick to it

No idea who ended up with them but was it really worth it over £25/50?

They also upgraded their mobile phones not long after they made up (I'm talking top of the range phones) and tried to sell them to my mother for £40 for both (which was a bargain-these phones where pricey and immaculate-they could have got a lot more if theyd sold them on ebay)

Another bloody row that went on for months as she wanted them for free (and the best laugh was that my parents are tech phobic and couldn't use them the way anyone else would have done,they couldnt even use them to text,she just wanted a freebie)

My mother never helped either of us financially and would charge us for anything (no matter how small) she did do for either of us so I do see their point but falling out twice over less than £100?!

Both as bad as each other (and 3 guesses who bro gets it from?)

Ill also never forget the day my mother handed my father a small plastic card and told him to hand it over when he paid for petrol-another moan for him everytime he needs to fill up

For years and years,he paid for his petrol and handed over the card (hes a very intelligent man but he can be thick as fuck and it didnt dawn on him to ask what it was for)

Until my uncle explained what the card was

It was a nectar card to collect points on it-hed been collecting points and paying for his own birthday and christmas presents for years (I think it was a joint card,linked to hers somehow)

He wasn't happy but neither was she that she'd been rumbled!

Agree; i like a bargain as much as the next person but I also want to enjoy my life. For my friend it is really becoming unhealthy. If she were really poor I'd understand the drive to save money but she had her 94 year old father doing repairs on her house rather than employing a handyman. It is increasingly not sitting well with me, especially as she struggles to remember to ask me how I am, or ask anything about my own life.

My mother is a twin. A few years ago we took the both of them out to the local carvery for a meal, We all had the fixed price carvery and a soft drink, they had a desert while we didnt.

I forget what the bill came to but they insisted on splitting the bill, we just said we'd quarter it, thus we'd be subsidising their desert, but, yanno, who cares its a carvery and we're not on the breadline.

Mother and Aunt spent the 15min journey home settling up between themselves with bits of cash being passed back and forth. In the end they got as close as they could but it was established the Aunt Owed mother 13p, this debt was agreed to be repaid the following day.

A few weeks went by and mother, bitterly and out of the blue remarked that her sister still hadnt paid the 13p. Fast forwards a few months we was all out for a walk and dropped in at a local walkers cafe for a brew and bit of toast/cake. Mother went and bought herself and sister a brew and cake, telling her that's £4, you can give me £4.13 cos you still owe me from the carvery. Sister just accepted this and coughed up....

I cant decide if they are trying too hard to be fair, or are just tight.

I'd have messaged her and asked her did she take them all as they were meant for your period which is due.

Ex SIL & BIL came for a few Christmas dinners to us. Only one year did they offer to give a contribution. I asked for Mince Pies: they asked who was going to be with us, I said 8. They brought 8 mince pies (tiny)!

I think usually, they know. They just don't care.