Husband said I'm a sorry mother

[Jessicarodgers]

I got my 10 year old up for school this morning,he decided he was going to wear shoes that tie but they was in a knot so I told him to get his warm boots since it was 21 degrees and he refused so he woke up my husband and told him I wouldn't get the knot out so he did so then he comes back down stairs puts the shoes on and then wants me to tie them for him,I continued to tell him to put the warmer shoes on so he refuses and then goes and tells my husband I won't do anything so my husband ties his shoes for him.While he was tying his shoes I heard my husband say I was a sorry momma.Im now hurt sad and crying.I have been told I'm sorry and would never amount to anything all my life and now I hear the same from my husband of almost 6 yrs.

Then you and your husband are both at fault for pandering to /babying your son. Your posts are inconsistent, first you say that when you tell him to do something you expect it to be done, but then he doesn't have to bother learning to tie his laces. He's ten, he should be able to dress himself, including tying shoe laces, without intervention.

But regarding the actual issue, I don't see how anyone can give their opinion on your DH from this snapshot of your lives.

I don’t understand the responses really.
the OP wanted her DS to wear boots given the weather. This is reasonable parenting. Apart from anything else, shoes may be ruined by snow and that costs money for them to be replaced.

instead of paying attention to his mother, the DS went to his father who did what his son wanted and called the OP a sorry mother.

And so this leads to the situation where the DS thinks he does not have to listen to his mother because his father clearly does not respect her.

I would be upset by this as well, except I am a single parent which makes life easier in this respect.

Oh yes a right bastard who helped his child get his shoes on for school. 🙄

You’re from the USA but you know what a GP is?

Also, no American I’ve ever met has referred to their country as the USA. It’s the US.

Seems like a fairly obvious troll.

That framing wasn’t at all clear from OP’s stream of consciousness first post, or any of her extremely confusing replies.

instead of paying attention to his mother, the DS went to his father who did what his son wanted and called the OP a sorry mother.

You are missing the piece where she says her son woke his father up. His father may have been working a night shift and was sleeping for that reason. I'd be annoyed if I was woken up by a child whose mother didn't want to help him untie a knot in his laces.

Also - surely anyone from the UK knows its not going to be 21 degrees here anywhere in November. People just being pedantic for no reason, OP, you have a husband problem. Try to get some help for yourself for you bipolar and self esteem issues, and how to communicate with your DJ.

This is exactly what I took as well. Didn't seem that hard to understand.

Regardless - sometimes knots can get very tight and be hard for a DC to undo. Not terrible parenting to sometimes offer help with this. And besides the point anyway as the OP seems to be getting berated both for helping her son too much with his footwear and not helping enough. Whereas surely the point is that regardless of a difference in pov here there are respectful and less respectful ways to deal with it. Clearly a lot of PPs are cut from the same mould as the OP's DH.

She didn’t ask for his help.

Sadly it would seem so

The child woke his father up to ask for help with the laces. We don't know why he was asleep but it's possible he may have been working a night shift. I'd be annoyed too if I was woken up by a child whose other parent refused to help him untie a knot in a shoelace.

No. Just true.

Sorry momma? No idea what you’re meant to be sorry for?

So you have to accept that your parenting style is not working.

Poor boy, no wonder he goes straight to his father when you are being so awkward towards him.

Possibly colloquial southern American English.

"Sorry momma" as in "sorry excuse for a mother". Uncalled for and hurtful

The decline in reading comprehension is a worry. OP, I completely understand why you wouldn't help your child wear unsuitable footwear.

Your husband needed to ask you why you were saying no and then tell his son off for waking him and playing you off against each other. But no, he chose to talk badly about you to his child. His actions will have consequences because he's more likely to get woken up in future

I might well tell my kid to choose a different pair of shoes if the laces on the normal shoes were in a knot and we were in a hurry, OP, not sure why you're getting such a hard time on here!

However I responded and whatever I thought, I would not be telling my kid that he had a terrible dad.

Shoes that he shouldn't be wearing. A bit stupid, I'd say!

I live in Athens TN United States

No he don't work he gets social security check every month and he's not bio dad he's step dad.And I'm the one that gets him up for school every morning.

Why are you with him? It seems as if he brings nothing to your life.

Thank God it’s the American taxpayers coughing up for his social security, not UK ones.