Husband said I'm a sorry mother

[Jessicarodgers]

I got my 10 year old up for school this morning,he decided he was going to wear shoes that tie but they was in a knot so I told him to get his warm boots since it was 21 degrees and he refused so he woke up my husband and told him I wouldn't get the knot out so he did so then he comes back down stairs puts the shoes on and then wants me to tie them for him,I continued to tell him to put the warmer shoes on so he refuses and then goes and tells my husband I won't do anything so my husband ties his shoes for him.While he was tying his shoes I heard my husband say I was a sorry momma.Im now hurt sad and crying.I have been told I'm sorry and would never amount to anything all my life and now I hear the same from my husband of almost 6 yrs.

I think PPS are focusing on the wrong issue here. A DH calling the OP a "sorry mother" in front of her child is horrible.

She obviously didn't undo the knot because she thought her ds was also focused on the wrong thing and should be wearing different shoes. The DS disagreed and went to his dad to override her approach.

That in itself is a non issue but the way the DH spoke to OP is not good and of course you'd be upset.

So let him. Then he will learn and choose better next time without feeling like he lives in a dictatorship of a household.
Would you like never having to make a choice in what you eat, what you wear, how to be?

Yeah… letting kids wear whatever they want despite bad weather would be ‘sorry’ parenting.

He won't take the time to learn he much rather have us do for him all the time so he won't have too.

‘Dictatorship’😂 such ridiculous hyperbole. It’d be funny, except it’s aimed at an OP who is upset by her arse of a husband.

.....then don't do it for him? Christ on a bike

Ok well this is ‘Rod for your own back’ territory.
If he’s old enough to choose to wear unsuitable footwear for the weather, he’s old enough to learn how to put it on.
Unfortunately it sounds like you don’t have bckup from his dad, who takes the path of least resistance.

I don't do it for him but when I don't he goes to my husband just like this morning so there for he never learns.

No, I got your point. I am also British born & bred.

I didn’t assume like you did that the OP was British and seriously thought warm boots at 21C was a good idea.

I used a bit of logic. I guess this goes to show you really need to look at why you assume certain things even when the result ends up being nonsensical.

Then tell your husband to stop babying him by doing everything for him. Tell him you have a ten year old who still needs mummy to pick out his clothes everyday because he’s a lazy, sorry excuse for a dad raising an equally lazy and incompetent son.

I’m sorry if this comes across harsh, OP but at 10 years old if he chooses to wear sandals when it’s cold I’d call that natural consequences. If he doesn’t get to go out and play at lunch with all his friends because he’s in sandals I’m sure he’d quickly learn to wear proper footwear. You can’t dress him his whole life. You said he won’t take the time to learn because you do everything for him…. So…. Stop doing everything for him. Seems logical to me. And have a word with your useless husband.

Missing rhe point.Are you in Alaska? Where is it 21° Farenheit?

Rude.

Not as rude as banging on to the OP about we don’t use Fahrenheit here in England, saying she must not like her child and telling me I have missed your point.

All those strategically incompetent adult males don't come out of nowhere.

Banging on? Once, I think I said that. Calm down.

This is awful advice. Escalation and name calling is not a good idea.

Untie the knots and tie his shoe's.
Or learn him how to untie knots and tie his own shoe's.
At 10 years old he should know how to do both.
This is not lazy parenting it's soppy parenting.

I was confused as thought OP meant degrees C! Also very envious, I’d love to be somewhere that was 21 degrees C right now, Fahrenheit definitely not (not the point of the thread I know).

Guess she should just LTB or carry on as normal then.

What an odd comment.

Why on earth have you both allowed your son to grow up knowing that he can trade off one parent against the other?

Your husband is a sorry excuse for a team player.

It's his body, why can't he choose what he wears?

Your dh is out of line speaking about you like that yo your dc. A normal response to a situation like that would be to check with the other parent if you’ve missed something. Otherwise dc play their parents off against each other.

Not the point of the thread but why would anyone think that the OP was in the UK because of it being 21C? It's 14C down south today.