Is it just me, or is keeping the house tidy basically a full-time job now?

[GlowWithBalance]

I feel like I spend half my life cleaning, tidying, or putting things back where they belong, and the place still somehow looks messy by the end of the day. It’s not even deep cleaning — just the constant stream of shoes, laundry, dishes, school stuff, toys, parcels, and random bits that appear out of nowhere.
I try doing quick tidy rounds, I try doing one big clean, I try ignoring it… none of it makes a dent for more than a few hours. With work, kids, and everything else, it feels impossible to stay on top of.

@EnglishGirlApproximately
When we had our DS we thought "it's really easy to get them to sleep, other parents just aren't doing it right". Then we had DD.

Exactly the same applies to tidying. DS puts everything away (though occasionally this means stuff he thinks is in the wrong place gets delivered to us). DD on the other hand ..

DD "spoon in my bedroom? What spoon? I never eat in my bedroom. I can't see it". It's there. Next to the yogurt pot, the sweet wrappers, and 10 socks "STOP POINTING TO THINGS".
DS "THERE'S A SPOON ON THE LANDING".

I hate to say it but I had this same approach from seven years onwards and it worked very well but at fourteen years it all went to chaos again. as they wouldn’t cooperate or did so very reluctantly. It was exhausting holding them to task.

Oh I totally get that not all kids are the same. If it's any consolation DS didn't reliably sleep until he was 11. That wasn't a typo 🙈

I could have written this post myself OP! Soo annoying! Hoovering is the worst.....do it all one day the next, bits all over the floor again! 🤦‍♀️

One reason I've found it much easier to function when we put the dishwasher on at a set time (late evening/overnight) is that then dirty items can be put straight into the dishwasher rather than accumulating in a heap at the side. I now don't have anything in my kitchen - pans, utensils etc. - that can't go in the dishwasher so it all just goes in as it's finished with and then the dishwasher goes on at night and is emptied as soon as I get up.

It's been a long process of trial and error but I've found that having a consistent routine for the absolute basics rather than relying on noticing that things need to be done is really helpful in avoiding the kind of overwhelm that destroys my motivation to do anything. I get really stressed if the bin is full when I'm trying to do stuff like make dinner and sort the kids, so taking it out every morning prevents that.

Ok, DD was mainly better by about 4 so I feel a bit better now!
DS is supposed to be our "problem child" as he's the one with SEN but he's very much WYSIWYG.

Who cares if they have food on there PJs?
Also spot washing was a game changer. Or make them eat breakfast in a dirty jumper all week. Wash on Friday.
Saves time, energy, money and clothes last longer. Win win win

If I don’t tidy, nobody else seems to even notice the mess; they can just walk past piles of stuff like it’s invisible. It drives me mad seeing things out of place, so I end up doing it myself just to stop feeling anxious about it.

I’ve started buying some storage bits recently too, hoping they’ll finally help things feel more organised.

We tried it. We tried aprons, wearing old t shirts. They won't do it. A mix of sensory needs and forgetting/being distracted and huge physicality (neither sit to eat and will not do so). My DM who is very strict at the dinner table thought we were just soft but now even she recognizes that it's just not about telling them and discipline, their brains are just wired differently. I've made my peace with it. My little ND lot just require a crap ton of clothes washing.