Is it just me, or is keeping the house tidy basically a full-time job now?

[GlowWithBalance]

I feel like I spend half my life cleaning, tidying, or putting things back where they belong, and the place still somehow looks messy by the end of the day. It’s not even deep cleaning — just the constant stream of shoes, laundry, dishes, school stuff, toys, parcels, and random bits that appear out of nowhere.
I try doing quick tidy rounds, I try doing one big clean, I try ignoring it… none of it makes a dent for more than a few hours. With work, kids, and everything else, it feels impossible to stay on top of.

Maybe you should leave wet PE kit on the hook. Then they’ll realise when they next need it that they should have emptied the bag and put the stuff in the laundry?

It’s not now my kids are older but when they were younger it was a nightmare. Now I find it easy to keep on top of

I could have written this but I've found using the Tody app makes things much more manageable. I'm heading to work in a few minutes but have already done one or two of the tasks for today.

I did spend an hour and a half on DD room yesterday (with her, not alone) and we have also started using photos of what areas should look like to stop the DCs leaving clutter everywhere.

We had a declutterer come in a couple of years ago and I use her methods for really cluttered areas (and I do have a big box of "things that don't go in the living room" currently in the hall.) But for day to day tidying I'm currently picking one area to really get tidy and then keeping on top of the others. So on Friday I really gutted the big dresser we have in the dining room but today in a quick tidy I only had to put away a few pens from there and I cleared off the table and window sill and then I left the stuff by the fridge for another day.

@zazazaaarmm we have three boxes and one bag in the front hall - gloves, scarves, hats and the bag is for welly boot socks. Shove it back in the box when you come in (or if I find it somewhere else). My shoes and DH go in our wardrobes. But I only have two DCs and one only wears one pair of shoes!

We do have three big wicket baskets for hats etc. too. Though I like your organisation.Ours is just a big mess.So I might try and instigate that as a rule!
I don't think i could fit my shoes in my wardrobe, mainly as there isn't room but also they are usually muddy or sweaty. I dont really have "nice shoes "

I do keep my muddy boots in the outer porch, but only one pair. The rest don't usually get muddy.

We've just bought some big shelves. Before we got them, I would have said we dont have many nicnaks but now Ive put them on the shelves... omg! So many little bits. Its got me wondering about the rest of the house and understanding why its always so messy. I need to curate!

I find that this is one of those things people trot out but is rarely true in real life. I know quite a few families and in none of them do the 4/5 year olds get home from school and diligently put their coat, shoes and bag away without being asked, or clear up their toys after playing without being reminded.

We are an autism / ADHD household too and I agree it makes it a lot harder, you see it happening as a PP says, they are on their way with something, see something else that catches their interest, first item is put down and completely forgotten about. Or the other classic, get a tin of catfood out, open it and put it in the catbowls, walk over to where they eat and put the bowls down, watch cats for a moment and then wander off leaving the tin and scoop on the side. I am trying to drill into them that as soon as you have emptied the tin rinse it and put it in the recycling before it touches the counter and you pick up the bowls but it come totally naturally to me and doesn't to any of my family. Also that thing of if things are put away they can't visualise or remember where they are so they prefer to have them out where they can see them.

I thought this was perfectly normal and not indicative of ADHD

Yep, me either.

Often the people that think their kids do these things have really low standards. A four year old would struggle to tidy to my standards. Shows would be haphazardly placed somewhere, coats would be hung up still wet with sleeves inside out and toys dumped wherever they fit.

Yes it is normal. Lots of people are starter/finishers and they get distracted along the way.

Well you need to educate - your children that’s part of parenting

that’s not tidying up , that’s parenting “pull the sleeves out to help it dry” and watch and wait

When DF passed away his occupation was put on his Death Cert with (retired) after it. When DM passed away her Death Cert listed her occupation as Housewife - no retired- as the nice lady at the Registry Office told me you cannot officially retire from housework! So it is officially never ending 😬.

Of course it is but we are talking about a 4 year old here. They aren't adults that are expected to get everything right and it is reasonable to still do a lot for children that age.

Shoes cluttering up hallways is a hatred of mine and DH has built a cupboard under the stairs for shoes. Ones that are not used daily such as hiking boots, welly boots, DH windsurfing boots are kept in a cupboard in the conservatory. There is no need for shoes not used on a regular basis to be in the hall.

My view is all public areas very clean and tidy, bedrooms less so. The real key is to have as little stuff as possible. Most of our coats are also in the huge shoe cupboard with a row of hooks by the door so wet coats do not mess up the cupboard.

Children were taught to pick up and assist from a tender age as I am not a servant, quoted too many times by me.

It’s just me DP and dog now but I still spend a lot of the day cleaning and tidying….by that I mean 10 mins here….10 mins there….my house is always clean and tidy …..but I have to work at it

I have to remind myself that everyone has dishes and needs to clean the kitchen daily as it feels never ending.

I have routines and a place for everything to help keep on top of it all. Make the bed as soon as you get up, always have washing in baskets and not piled up around the house, a place for shoes to live etc.

Go as clutter free as possible and have storage.

I have ADHD and for a long time my house has been a complete tip. I mean, doom cupboards and doom rooms full of random stuff all shoved in together. Some important - passports, birth certificates, house deeds (!) - and some unimportant - broken toys, half-done crafts, old bank statements. So I can't even just do a general chuck-out, I actually have to sort stuff out.

It is very slowly - and I mean glacially - getting better. The things which are helpful are:

• Having a place for the everyday stuff we need. We are a long way from having a place for everything, but we now do have a place for the things we need everyday, like bags/hairbrushes/school uniform/shoes/keys and that makes getting out the door a lot easier. I insist that everyday goes back into its place when it comes back into the house before we sit down.
• Having an evening and morning "chores routine" of the absolute basics that need to be done. For me, this is dishwasher-laundry-bins. Every evening, dishwasher goes on and laundry goes on, even if I don't have a full load. Every morning, dishwasher is emptied and laundry is hung up to dry or put in the dryer, and I take the bin and recycling out, even if not full. It stops thing building up. Dry laundry is chucked in a huge box that may or may not get sorted, but it's not the end of the world if we just pick out the items we need from the big box, rather than folding into drawers.
• Writing all the random stuff that never gets done - "clean out bottom kitchen drawer", "clean skirting boards - onto small cards and trying to do one card every time the kettle is boiling.
• Having three bags/boxes when I'm tidying - "Chuck", "Donate", "Sort". The "chuck" bag goes straight in the outside bin when I've finished and doesn't hang about. The "donate" bag is added too the pile for the next charity shop run. The "sort" box is things I can't chuck or donate but don't know what to do with yet. Anything which is out of place and belongs in another room gets lobbed out the door into the corridor and is dealt with when I finish tidying.
• I have a shredder in the hall. Unnecessary paperwork doesn't make it more than two feet from the front door before it's shredded and recycled.

I find that what I'm aiming for is to both keep on top of things (so they don't get worse) and make a little progress every day in sorting out the residual issues. But I'm not going to lie, it's very hard work sometimes with kids like whirlwinds who leave chaos and debris everywhere.

i never bother to tidy until the kids go to bed then whichever one of us isn't doing bedtime - does a quick 30min blast of tidying up, dishwasher, counter wipe!

Nothing is organised - the toys and stuff just go in a box - the kids room just has things shoved in random drawers of the toy chest!

Clean the bathrooms and hoover sunday mornings

the rest of the week the robot hoover does the job

i dont find it too difficult to stay on top of

I think (having a DS with ADHD) the Tody app would also suit some of you (no I don't get a kickback) as it gives that "just cleared a level on your game" tick the box buzz.

We are currently in the it feels like a full time job stage!
2 kids - DD4 and DS8. Although they do put things back, its usually near to where they belong. Shoes in the porch but not tided. Clothes next to the wash bin. That sort of thing. But its progress so I don't complain right now.
I spend most of my time putting things back 'properly'. My DH is the same - shoes next to the overflow shoe cupboard, dishes next to the sink sort of thing.
To them they can live with that, it's me that can't so I don't mind doing the extra bit.

The biggest things I find that help are decluttering and everything having a home. I declutter a few times a year (usually pre birthdays, pre summer hols and pre Christmas). Everything has a space. If we get to a stage where the items don't fit in the space I know its time to declutter again.

Keeping on top of dishwashers and washing machines loads makes it feel less of a task that 100 loads in one weekend.
Going to bed with a tidy house with things put away makes a massive difference to the next day. I do half hour of put way before going to bed and it really makes a difference the next day.

I'm 52 and just bored of tidying up. Loved the novelty when I was single, my room was perfect, the house share frustrating.
For the last 30 years I've been cleaning and tidying up after DH, the lodger, the kids, the dog and I'm really bored of it.
I had a work project living totally away for 3 months and it was amazing, someone properly cleaned once a week but I totally kept it perfect. I cried the day I found someone else had neatly folded the clean laundry on the bed.
The kids are now away and DH. I know i'd enjoy a perfect home but the dog and I just can't be arsed. I think I've broken myself. And you can ask me all about Flylady, slob, unfuck your habitat, TOMM, I know all the theory,

My house is always tidy- admittedly it isn't always clean, which is a different thing! If you just put everything back where it belongs after you use it, then you never need to tidy up. It does work.

I completely agree! I'm a single parent to a 3 year old and I work full time; I can't believe the amount of mess that builds up!