Does height difference matter in a relationship?

[Benny91]

As I’m 6ft 4in and my girlfriend is 4ft 11in, is this weird for a relationship? What do you think?

As my girlfriend and I occasionally do get looks from people.

I prefer my partner to be within 1-2 inches of me just because I love hugs where I can bury my face into their neck.

But I'm never going to turn down someone that I otherwise like just because of height.

Oh yes, he’s really charming and extremely funny. Also very handsome!

I have several male friends who are quite short by male averages (5ft3, 5ft4) they are all in long term relationships.

Personality is key.

At face value it seems the only thing that bothers you about this is the looks from other people you have noticed. You have no idea what they are thinking when they are looking or even if what you perceive to be looks are actually a reaction to you. They might be thinking about something completely different. If they are reacting to seeing a tall person and a short person side by side that might be the extent of their thoughts- a height difference. That would be a momentary observation that they would forget almost immediately. It is unlikely they would form any opinion at all.

I suspect you feel self conscious about the height difference. If so, it is for you to work out why that is and whether it is going to continue to cause you discomfort

That’s roughly the same height difference between me and dh, it’s not weird, but kneel down or sit down in the house occasionally for kisses 😂 I have a bad neck so I’m often getting dh to make himself shorter in the house so I can be the one leaning down or at the same height rather than always tip toeing up with my neck bent

😂
The deal breaker for me would be if (my) man was shorter.
Full stop.

Don't apologise for your preferences.

What? I’m 5’ exactly, DH is over 6’ and we have been married for decades. DD is shorter than I am, and her partners have never been under 6’2. Sure, you always get ‘the tall and the short of it’ jokes but that’s harmless. You sound a tad odd frankly.

I’m 5ft and my DH is 6ft 8 (broad rugby looking type). 30 yrs together and not an issue for us. We do give other height difference couples a look to check out if any have a bigger difference than us!

Not much of a height difference here 6ft 1 and 5ft 10) but visitors to our house do often find that our kitchen counters are surprisingly high for them, that mirrors are hung for ‘tall people’ so they can’t really see themselves that well…clearly not an issue for many PPs above (in fact wondering how they navigate this stuff?) but could cause friction if you live together

I'm 5'6 and my husband is 6', I think that's a perfect height difference for me. I've dated much taller men and it was just uncomfortable, one of us was always on the wonk when holding hands, cuddling, everything.

Same here.

I’m the same

but I’m sure as heck not going to “hide” from anyone on account of it

I wonder if you have a bad neck because of the huge height difference @Ytte ?!

It sure does matter on Mumsnet. The fact that a man is discarded for being shorter when he ticks every other box is more than shallow, it’s disgusting.

But apparently it’s an issue the other way round on here!

A woman who is 6 ft 5 would be one of a dozen I suspect throughout the entire uk

and not many men 5ft 1

Oh don’t be silly.

It’s about what we find attractive. I would never find a morbidly obese man attractive. I would never find a very short man attractive. I would never find a man with a gigantic
nose and tiny eyes attractive.

So shoot me 🤷‍♀️

Certainly sums up shallow- I hope you measure up to the strict criteria of men judging you!

It contributes now but it wasn’t the cause, had an accident and now everything hurts! But it definitely was uncomfortable at times before that, it’s nice to be not always the one looking up!

Does it matter to you or your gf OP?
Because that’s the only important question here.

I’m slightly below average height and just all around a little person, but my DH is an actual giant at 6ft5 and built like a brick shithouse 🫠
We’ve heard it all - including the vulgar “must be like a chihuahua and a Rottweiler in the bedroom” jokes.
We aren’t phased by it. Other people seem to be!

My parents had a big height difference, my DM was 5 ft and my DDad 6ft 2, married 51 years. My dad still still misses her everyday since she died three years ago. 💔

There’s that difference between me and DH. He says I make up for in personality what I lack in height 😂

No. DH is over a foot taller than me and it's incredibly useful when it comes to things like decorating and gardening.

And before anyone asks, we got to know each other online so he had to impress me with his personality. Good thing he's got one.

My current (harmless and never to be acted on) crush is a bloke who's the same height as me because he's both brilliant and funny and has a really wicked smile.

So you have absolutely pre reqs? You’d date anyone no matter weight, height, looks, job - it is ALL about personality?

Certainly wouldn’t automatically write someone off !