Tell me worst/funniest driving test stories

[Drivemare]

massive exhale
I’m still trying to calm down from my first driving test earlier today (learner in my late 30s), where I failed my arse off. My nerves have never hit me so bad! My fingers were literally rattling…
I had to merge into a duel carriage way and 3 lorries were in the left lane… none would budge over, I slowed and slowed… was running out of space, going 20 in a 70… I got so nervous I literally said ‘help’ (💀) and my examiner had to talk me through it. After the exit, I had to pull over because my nerves were shot. I don’t think I could go back to the same test centre for the embarrassment.

My instructor looked shocked when I talked him through it because I’d been driving so well and passing the mocks. I’m not sad at all that I failed, as I need to be able to handle such situations… but how I’m cringing tonight - gaaaaah!

Any solidarity out there?

Also we had a driving instructor (early 2010s) who would ask if you wanted a female or male instructor, if you said male you got Dave wearing jeans and a jumper, if you said female you’d get Una who would wear a dress and fish nets. (They were the same guy) so creepy!!

Also we had a driving instructor (early 2010s) who would ask if you wanted a female or male instructor, if you said male you got Dave wearing jeans and a jumper, if you said female you’d get Una who would wear a dress and fish nets. (They were the same guy) so creepy!!

Not me, but someone I knew when we were all taking lessons at 17/18 had an instructor who would randomly fire some kind of loud toy gun at various points during the lesson. The idea, apparently, was to get his pupils to expect the unexpected. The actual outcome was to make them a nervous wreck.

My DSis knocked a cyclist off their bike on one of her tests many years ago!

No! God, that's a bad one.
I did read about someone in our town driving into the canal.

I'm laughing so much at this, although it would have freaked me out!

Eh? Why! Were you afraid the baby would shoot out or something

Got in the car. Buckled up, set off. As we reached the car park exit, the examiner said “turn right here”. I panicked and … turned left. He gave a long, deep, irritated sigh. This did nothing for my nerves and I proceeded to fuck it up, to nobody’s surprise.

I was so nervous on my first test that I drove out of the test centre onto the wrong side of the road. I managed to correct it and continued the test and at the end he said “you know you’ve failed don’t you”. I had 1 major and 1 minor in that test and I could have kicked myself! I passed second time with 2 minors. Sometimes nerves and tests get the better of us! But I was quite rightly failed! 15 years later I’ve never made the mistake again thank goodness!

There was that many roadworks (and an accident) she barely got anywhere before they had to return to the test ccentre he had her do a reverse park and discussed with everyone what the procedure was because technically she had driven flawlessly for 45 minutes parked the car perfectly she just hadn't got very far...she passed luckiest pass ever (i am pretty sure she managed to do a manoeuvre too)

There is a risk to mother and baby
The seatbelt needs to be in a certain position
Unless you are warned just before and have an opportunity to first stop and ensure the seatbelt is correctly positioned it’s dangerous
to carry out an emergency stop.

I failed first time around. The examiner terminated my test because I swore at him 🫣🫣🫠🫠😂

Stalled at a traffic light. Got myself all flustered. And he started doing exactly what he should have done: calmly talked me through the next steps to get myself going again.

My 17 year old brain felt slighted 🫠😂 and I just snapped “well fucking obviously!” 🫣🫣🫣🫣

He terminated the test and drove me back to the test centre 😂
I passed with flying colours on my next try a few weeks later though.

Yes. A friend of my mum was doing a kerbside parallel park and it wasn't going well.

She got flummoxed, hit the accelerator not the brake, mounted the kerb and rammed into a low wooden fence.

I don't know if the test continued or not - I think they are supposed to, but I can't imagine they just drove off and left the fence.

😱😰

Into the canal! I'm splitting my sides - though I shouldn't be because there's normally quite a drop.

I was late to my test as a famous building in the town was on fire. I told the examiner about it and funnily enough my test route ended up driving past the building (completely out of the way of the usual routes). I laughed when I realised he just wanted a snoop and called him nosey - which fortunately he also laughed at and agreed with me. I’m convinced that’s the reason why he passed me!

I was late to my test as a famous building in the town was on fire. I told the examiner about it and funnily enough my test route ended up driving past the building (completely out of the way of the usual routes). I laughed when I realised he just wanted a snoop and called him nosey - which fortunately he also laughed at and agreed with me. I’m convinced that’s the reason why he passed me!

On my 4th (and final) test, I had the examiner’s examiner with me too. Up till that point, all my examiners had been really cold and clinical (which only added to my nerves). On my 4th attempt, the examiner was quite nice. He got in the car and asked if I’d like to do the test in silence or if it would help if he chatted to me. I said I’d prefer to see how it went - start off in silence and if I wanted to chat, I’d lead the conversation. The examiner’s examiner then got in the back seat and found a 20p piece on the floor. He said ‘hang on - are you trying to bribe us?’ We laughed at the corny joke but it broke the tension and I drove like a dream!

I’m convinced I failed on the other attempts because the examiners were really quite mean and unfriendly. That’s my excuse anyway 😂

This thread has been such a cheerer-upper. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and disasters… and subsequent triumphs!

Best of luck to those having tests soon x

I had a trainee examiner and someone assessing him in the back seat. Neither of them spoke except to issue instructions and the man in the back was a very big bloke. So big, that my vision in my little Mini was obscured.

I complained afterwards, because it was impossible to see behind me.

I passed on the third attempt. A few weeks prior to the test, some utter c~ckwomble had driven into the back of my car, so I had to take my test with my car boot tied down with string. That was the time I passed.

One of my college friends was cut up by a biker outside the test centre in her driving instructor's car. She swerved to avoid, mounted the kerb and T-boned the examiner's car, writing both it and her instructor's car off. She didn't pass.

Good luck for your next try! It will be alright. x

I passed on my 5th attempt, but there was 12 years between the 4th and 5th test.
Between the ages of 17 and 21 I don’t think my brain had developed the confidence etc to crack the test, plus my first instructor did a lot for me that maybe wasn’t helpful, looking back.
Highlights from the first 4 tests were:
Attempting to cross right at lights in front of oncoming traffic. I knew there was no priority for right turns at that junction and the examiner had to slam on the brakes. He did give me the option to carry on - must have been very brave!- but told my instructor “She threw that away”.
I got a Major for turning my head ever so slightly because 2 boy racers in a right hand lane cat called me. I didn’t react, didn’t miss my lights changing, just….glanced momentarily to the side in response to someone trying to get my attention. Dicks.
The above really knocked my confidence even further so I gave up trying to learn until my 30s. I was 5 months pregnant, resigned to researching prams that would fold up easily on public transport Got the loveliest examiner, very calming and chatty, aced it!