Tell me worst/funniest driving test stories

[Drivemare]

massive exhale
I’m still trying to calm down from my first driving test earlier today (learner in my late 30s), where I failed my arse off. My nerves have never hit me so bad! My fingers were literally rattling…
I had to merge into a duel carriage way and 3 lorries were in the left lane… none would budge over, I slowed and slowed… was running out of space, going 20 in a 70… I got so nervous I literally said ‘help’ (💀) and my examiner had to talk me through it. After the exit, I had to pull over because my nerves were shot. I don’t think I could go back to the same test centre for the embarrassment.

My instructor looked shocked when I talked him through it because I’d been driving so well and passing the mocks. I’m not sad at all that I failed, as I need to be able to handle such situations… but how I’m cringing tonight - gaaaaah!

Any solidarity out there?

Fwiw OP I think you behaved really responsibly by asking for help when you realised you were out of your depth.
Much better doing that than doing something really silly and causing an accident.
Put this down to experience and I'm sure next time you will pass.

One of my sons went through a red light during his test and another managed to break the speed limit.

I got a minor for speeding in my 2nd test.

My first test was a disaster. The "highlight" was going round a corner, finding a taxi loading school children parked in the middle of the road and having to swerve around it.

I nearly crashed into a milk float on my first test 😳

I had to do an emergency stop for a family of ducks 😄😂

I never made it out of the car park.
The morning of the test, I said the instructor as I got in the car, having seen him reverse "aren't you meant to have a light that comes on when you reverse". I knew he did, he knew he did, but still said no, trying to allay my fears and also realising he fucked up.
So we get to the test, I sign in, meet the examiner, do the little eye test thing and get in the car. I go to reverse out of the car park, and someone taps on the window of the passenger side, I stop, park and the examiner chats with someone else, who I assume is another examiner and tells her the car I'm driving isn't road worthy.
That's it, ends of test. Fail.
My instructor looked gutted, and genuinely couldn't apologise enough. He did say he'd pay for my next test and some free lessons, but then ghosted me.

DD went fir driving test in covid times.

The dashboard was dusty so the examiner would not proceed with test as the car evidently hadn't been cleaned to required covid compliant standards.

Had to wait another 4 months for another test.

The instructor did refund the fee.

🙄

years ago it was rumoured if you slipped the tester a fifty they would pass you. A friend of ours did it, the tester took the money said nothing. Then failed him 🤣.
When I did mine a dog sat right behind my car when I was supposed the reverse around the corner & couldn’t go it. I took a right instead of a left but I still passed.

We were setting off and he asked me to do a parking manoeuvre before we left the centre. I executed it beautifully and turned to him and said “I’ve just done all that with the handbrake on haven’t I”
yes, yes I had
and that’s not even why I failed 😆

I took my driving test when we still had to wear mask. I wear glasses and could hear my breathe shaking in the mask. I then forgot which was left and right was told to pull over on the left indicated right, for a couple of seconds then shouted shhhhh...oooot other side. Switched indicators and pulled over on the left. Then started crying. I'd already had to deal with a horse and trap, a coach then pulled out of a bus stop without indicating and then a road sweeping lorry. I just said can we stop. Examiner said don't you want to do the rest of the route. At that point I was either going to throw up or cry harder so just said Ok and somehow got back to the test centre. Yes I did fail and haven't booked another lesson since. Totally lost my nerve

I crashed into a parked car after turning a corner. Didn’t damage the other car but put a hole in mine!

I accidentally grabbed the instructors leg instead of the gear stick at one point was mortified but he seemed to think it was some kind of come on. I then had to do a reverse round a corner manoeuvre and completely mounted the curb but he said “oh don’t worry, I know you could have done it” and passed me! So I’m pretty convinced I only got my licence because I accidentally groped the instructor

Not me but a friend was so so nervous, he pulled over, opened the car door and projectile vomited … all over a passing cyclist. Oops.

Oh guys, thank you all.
@Gottocopebymyself that’s ever so kind - thanks for the positive spin.

Honestly your posts had me laugh out loud, which has really helped clear the adrenaline. Especially the £50 for a fail 😂😂😂@Janeysunshibe

Well done to those of you who’ve had a disaster and got through it. You give me hope! To those still working towards it - we’ll get there!

I too accidentally grasped the leg of the examiner when trying to reach the gearstick. I was 18 and very shy, absolutely mortified.

Our local driving test centre had the worst exit you can imagine as the path from the car park was on a steep hill AND there was a box junction on the road immediately outside. Loads of people failed straight away owing to those two aspects. I managed to get out ok and was so relieved. Then 5 mins later I had to do another hill start but rolled backwards twice. I was in a real panic but then thought oh well I've failed and relaxed ... And passed!

Unfortunately later that same day I reversed into a parked police van. No damage or witnessed (except my boyfriend who told me to just drive off, so I did). Feel bad about it even now, especially as I'm a solicitor.

I had a friend once who failed in central London for not running over a pedestrian. Apparently she should have kept driving and known that London pedestrians get out of the way at the last minute.

Another friend ran over a lollipop lady. But “only a little bit”, he said.

Hill start. Couldn't quite find the biting point but figured I'd get it once I took the handbrake off. Car goes whizzing backwards - I'd forgotten to put it into gear and was in neutral. Thank the lord for duel control cars, else I would have smashed into the car parked behind. Oops.

This will out me to anyone who knows me in real life but who cares. These were my instant fail reasons.

Attempt 1 - hit the curb while driving in a straight line
Attempt 2 - 40mph in a 30 zone
Attempt 3 - 25mph on dual carriageway so dangerously slow

I passed on go 4 and then 36 hours later hit a parked car taking off its wing mirror driving into the street I grew up on at like 3mph

This was all 20 years ago. I haven’t driven in 16 years - I am a strict passenger/spotify playlist organiser and I think everyone is safer for it!

Worst

Failed because I refused to do an emergency stop whilst heavily pregnant
Technically they said I failed the emergency stop

Funniest…..🤔…..nope there weren’t any

In the week after I passed though I did have a funny experience

Immediately after passing I started driving to work. No motorways but heavy traffic and windy road driving for 30/40 odd minutes each way. So quite stressy.
To park at my office I had to reverse in but on day one I hit the neighbours brick pier with a stone cap on top. No damage I thought. All ok
Day two, still tricky reversing and hit the pier, took a look and it still looked ok
Day three same thing
Day four and the pier capstone gave up, split in half and fell off

Sheepishly I knocked on the neighbours door apologised and offered to pay for a new capstone and get it fixed. The neighbour laughed and said ‘let’s wait till you’ve had more time to practice reversing ‘ 🤣🤣🤣

One of DDs friends failed for saluting a magpie

🤣🤣🤣🤣

was it on its own?

‘One for sorrow ‘ as they say. Was the salute to avoid the jinx

My first test, aged 17, long ago, I can still remember my foot shaking so much that the clutch pedal was going up and down.
Then I was about to reverse around a corner and a lorry came out of nowhere (i.e. I didn't notice it!) and the examiner slammed on the dual control brake. I just looked at him and said Sorry! It took me 2 years to get my nerve up to try again and I passed that time!

A long time ago my friend took his motorcycle test and passed. For the emergency stop a man used to step into the road way to indicate the stop. On his way home from the test he ran into the emergency stop man who was conducting the next test.

On my third test, I ended up on the wrong side of the road. 😂

It was a slip road with a roundabout and I’d driven on that road lots of times with my instructor but on this particular day, in my nervous state, I missed a huge yellow sign that told me that due to roadworks, they’d changed the direction of the lanes on approach. The examiner told me to turn right at the roundabout so I moved into what I thought was the right hand lane - except it had been temporarily changed to a lane for oncoming traffic. He wasn’t a very nice examiner and he just said to me coldly, ‘you’re on the wrong side of the road’. It had been going so well up to that point - I could have howled!

I eventually passed with 2 minors on my 4th attempt. Keep at it OP - it’s absolutely worth it.